That's The Way (414 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by David Jones <davjones.at.iastate.edu> (View user info) at 2004-10-24 22:10:14 EDT
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I wear a ring on a necklace at all times.
I have never taken this ring bearing necklace off for more than 24 hours in the last several years.
The ring is a large men's gold ring with an oval ruby set in its center.
I have no idea how valuable this ring is in terms of dollars...it doesn't matter.
This ring belonged to the only man who mattered to me as a child.
Lacking a father, or a reliable mother, I always turned to my grandfather growing up. He was the guiding force for me. He taught me right from wrong, good from bad, Cardinals from Cubs.
He was a man's man. He did things right, the first time. If it wasn't broke, he didn't fix it. He worked hard, and then later he played hard. He did the best he was able for his family, putting everyone else first. He held the family together. He showed me the right way to be.
Grandpa had a stroke 6 years ago that led to his death just a few short weeks later. He was just 54 at the time.
Ever since his death the small amount of balance that once existed in my family has eroded away. Each year my family works harder and harder to tear itself apart.
Some of its members moved off to start new family's and forget about things past. Others cling to each other, looking for what Grandpa used to provide them in different people, but never finding it.
Personally, I pushed everyone else away. Each year since his death I have gotten more and more independent. I go months now without contact with anyone I am related to.
Sometimes, late at night, I put his ring on my finger. The ring is far too large for my fingers, and I think of what this means.
I think of how I must be letting him down with the way I always put myself first; the way I've left my family behind. I think of the way he wanted me to be, the way he taught me, and then think of how I really am. I can't help but sob myself to sleep knowing I've failed him.
Sometimes I try to change. I try to be the person he wanted me to be, but I just can't. It's too hard. It hurts too much. The rifts in my family are too big. I just don't have it in me, and that's the way it is.
I hope one day my finger will fit his ring. I hope one day I will have his strength.
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Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-16 11:39:28 EST (#)
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