The time I almost died (892 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.25 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Freight Train (View user info) at 2004-10-24 22:13:23 EDT
I had a serious swimming accident a while back. I went to a lake close to my house, and decided to take a swim. There was a "No swimming" sign posted, but I took my chances. The water was very cold and soon I was out of breath. I thought I would die, but then out of nowhere this guy showed up. He probably saw me from the shore, so he jumped into the ice-cold water, and swam to me to save me. He pulled me out of the river, and I lay there for a while to catch my breath. When I regained my composure, I looked at the guy. His clothes were all wet, and his hair was all messed up. So I started laughing at him. I said, hey buddy, look at yourself, you are all wet and cold and shivering. Your hair's a mess, and you are dressed funny. How about you get out of my sight, huh? The guy just shook his head, turned around, and dissapeared. I wonder if he will ever save anybody else again.
In 1944 the United States of America invaded Normandy to save the Europe from Nazi plague. The penetrated German territoty and became a barrier between the advancing Solviet army, and the rest of Europe. Then in 1945 United States spend billions of dollars to rebuild Europe, and never asked for a dollar back.
Then for over 40 years the United States had been fighting Cold War against the Soviet Union. Americans wasted billions upon billions of dollars to stop and evil empire on the other side of the world. They did not spend that money on health care, they did not spend that money to build new roads or colleges in America. For over 40 years and average American gave away a CHUNK of his income to save Europe from Soviet menace.
Americans saved Europe from Germany, and the Soviet Union. Without the United States of America, the Soviet machine would still be running. Without the United States of America, there would be Soviet army in Portugal right now.
USA is the ONLY reason why Europe as we know it exists. How dare you laugh at Americans? You don't like McDonald's? Dont eat at McDonald's. You don't like their music? Don't listen to it. Without USA the whole Europe would be speaking Russian or German right now.
You think maybe the United States can make a better decision about Iraq? Only 13 years had passed since the collapse of Soviet Union, and everybody already forgot who kept the Soviet tanks at bay. We are still a beacon of freedom, and we are alone again, but this is not the first time. Just give us a call when you need your country rebuilt again.
User Reviews
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-11-20 10:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Phallic Cymbals, I didn't say USA saved everyone in the WWII. Soviets pretty much stopped the Germans, the problem is they started the war. However the USA stopped the Soviet army from advancing any further, which I am sure they would do. With USA stationed in West Germany, USSR could not move any further.
And about fighting deep in the German soil.. Well Soviets lost about 300,000 men in Berlin alone. Maybe you should read a fucking book, asshole.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-11-19 02:33:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Good story. Bad analogy.
"In 1944 the United States of America invaded Normandy to save the Europe from Nazi plague. The penetrated German territoty and became a barrier between the advancing Solviet army, and the rest of Europe."
Grammatical and spelling considerations aside, America was not the heroic savior many American historians portray it to be, and some of your assertions are just bizarre. Firstly, NO FIGHTING occurred deeply within German soil throughout the entire course of the war. Had it not been levelled by bombing, it would never have suffered direct damage. Secondly, the Soviet army was an allied force! They were fighting against the Germans as well! Why would America become a 'barrier' between two forces on the same side? As i have already said, however, they never fought on German soil, so the whole point is irrelevant.
Also, Nazi Germany fell as a result of a VAST number of different factors and to say "America came in and saved everyone" is so gross an oversimplification as to barely merit consideration. Their war of attrition on the Western Front coupled with their inability to reach Moscow before the devastating winter of 1944 (which allowed the Russians to mobilise their previously inactive and highly specialised Siberian forces) exacerbated a series of terrible tactical decisions made around the Black Sea.
The fact is, historians (both traditional and revisionist) have written WHOLE BOOKS on why the Nazi's failed, and i can assure you not one of them said "America came in and, like, roxxored". It's a complicated issue, don't simplify it to make flimsy points.
"Then in 1945 United States spend billions of dollars to rebuild Europe, and never asked for a dollar back."
I'd be amazed if you could support these altruistic donations with actual references...
"Then for over 40 years the United States had been fighting Cold War against the Soviet Union. Americans wasted billions upon billions of dollars to stop and evil empire on the other side of the world. They did not spend that money on health care, they did not spend that money to build new roads or colleges in America. For over 40 years and average American gave away a CHUNK of his income to save Europe from Soviet menace"
The Soviet Union did not have expansionistic attitudes towards Western Europe. The Cold War was based around far more abstract idealistic concerns...
You know what? Fuck this. It's not my job to educate you. Go out and read some modern history before you post this stuff again, its just completely baseless.
Just the fact you use words like "evil empire" means you're not approaching this from a reasonable standpoint. That or you have a fetish for abstruse RATM references...
Submitted by dreamgirl1013 (user info) at 2004-11-19 01:45:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
yea n wut i shame u didnt. ur a waste of a life. get over ur big ass n try being NICE for a change. then again, that would prolly kill u... hmm, in that case u SHOULD try it. n u think UR shit is "thought provoking"? its not. deal w/ it.
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-11-08 07:51:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Better luck next time, with the dying.
Malone
Lucifer Industries LLC
Submitted by Autism (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:44:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Too bad you didn't.
Submitted by scoobidydoo2003 (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:42:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Can you say, "I SUCK" ?
Submitted by Anarchy (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:33:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
DAMN YOU FUCKING NON-FREE THINKERS! DAMN YOU ALL STRAIT TO HELL!!!
Submitted by Socialist (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:32:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
FREETHINKER ATTACK!!!!!
Submitted by johnson (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I fucking hate anti-Freethinkers!
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:31:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Never attack the Freethinkers, faggot!
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-11-03 02:05:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FOUR MORE YEARS
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2004-10-28 19:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
For not going ahead and drowning.
You made fun of a guy for saving your ass...you're a fucking moron.
Even without us, the Soviets would not be around anymore. Their economy would have collapsed regardless. Read up some Soviet history and you'll see that the communist government was figuratively bouncing checks for decades. Most soldiers work out...from reading some of your reviews (FatTony), then they must all be fags, right? What's your number, cupcake?
Your heart is in the right place...but you're still a twat.
Submitted by 10c7c (user info) at 2004-10-26 17:18:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
eat a dick
Submitted by Perplexd (user info) at 2004-10-26 17:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
True. But Bush still sucks. We'll never be a beacon of anything but horse shit with him in office.
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-10-26 17:04:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have to correct some people here:
GB and France declared war on Germany the day they invaded Poland. There was no "I'll wait until they're a threat to me" attitude.
The US wasn't on the fence. They had been supplying GB and their European allies with supplies since very early on. No troops were commited beyond the many volunteers already fighting in Europe and the Pacific until Pearl Harbor.
Many Americans and Canadians had died to U-Boat attacks well before Dec. 7, 1941 and Germany had U-Boats parked right outside our shores the whole time on the East coast and Gulf of Mexico, as in so close they could see people and read signs from their periscopes.
Without the United States, it is doubtful that Britian would have held on for many more years, saving a major land invasion from France by the Third Reich. The Soviet Union was already pushing towards Berlin years befor the US finally entered. It's unclear whether or not Germany would have turned their full efforts from a British invasion to defend against Stalin. What is for certain, is if the US didn't enter the war, it would have gone on indefinately, and Germany would have been reduced to ash in it's entirety by the Soviets just out of spite, assuming they made the push to Berlin on thier own.
Malone
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-10-24 23:49:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-24 23:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck Zi Angre Europas!
You put it in an extremely.... ..GOOD way. I never thought about it like that.
Bravo m'boy, bravo.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-10-24 23:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If America hadn't entered the World War Two, there would have been no Cold War. No Cold War means no Americans entering Afghanistan to give weapons to the Afghanis after the Soviets invaded. Basically, America having a pissing contest with the Soviets over POS Afghanistan stirred up a lot of shit that hit the fan on 9/11.
I failed debate class so all of that can probably be proven wrong, but I still go on...
Yeah, Hitler was running out of gas. But instead of going after Middle Eastern oil, he has a bitch fight with Stalin. If Hitler would've taken the other route, that's Grade-A fuckage for everyone. Luckily, Hitler was a pussy. Don't fucking kill yourself in a bunker. Come out and take it like a man.
America never entered World War Two to liberate anyone. They entered World War Two because Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. They were sitting on the fence, looking out for their own business, before that. America didn't need to go to Europe. They should've stayed out. Woodrow Wilson brought good ideas to the treaty of Versaille but Clemenceau wanted to slap Germany upside the face. France deserved to get fucked right back. The maginot line was a GREAT idea. Morons.
Great Britain didn't give a damn when Hitler took the Sudentland and then Poland. Just like America, everyone was looking out for themselves. Alliances are shit. Britain only came to help France because they knew that if the Nazis had easier access to Britain's shore they were fucked.
Then the goddamn United Nations just fucks more shit up when they feel sorry and give the Jews Israel. Albert Einstein knew to stay away from that shit. Maybe they should've realized that if Albert Einstein doesn't want to be president of the country, then you're in a world of hurt.
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-10-24 23:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for a great allegory and a good point.
It's only not a +2 because I don't think the Soviet Union would have lasted, US intervention or not. That sucker was doomed.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-10-24 23:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"the straight"? dear god, what is wrong with me... i meant "street"
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-10-24 23:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why is it that people are so opposed to the same thing people are gung ho to protect?
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-10-24 22:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-10-24 22:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
one time i stepped out into the straight and some van rushed past me close enough that i felt the tires dragging against the front of my shoe.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-10-24 22:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
America....
FUCK YEAH!!
Submitted by PersonMan (user info) at 2004-10-24 22:44:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-09 21:13:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
You know, I'm glad the US took the time to topple Pol Pot's dictatorship and end his 1 mil+ genocide spree. Wait, we didn't? Well I'm just glad we quickly declared war on Adolf Hitler when he started killing off jews...hold it, you mean we didn't? You mean to say that Germany actually declared war on the US? Oh excuse me, you're just an idiot.
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Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-10-24 22:36:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2004-10-24 22:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
war reparations.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-24 22:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
In other words: Fuck you.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-24 22:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I didn't realize trying to squash communistic states all over the world, after which we either failed or set up an equally or even more oppressive dictatorship, was being a beacon of freedom.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-24 22:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The British were actually winning the war without the aid of US, so whether sooner or later, they would've either won or called it a draw. With Blitzkrieg and Hitler spreading all his troops around in Africa, Russia and Europe all at once, their resources were getting depleted quickly. They might've won if Hitler would've listened to Rommel...
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-24 22:16:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Germany paid the US back in full within seven years.
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2004-10-24 22:14:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HELL FUCKING YES!