shut up about your teeth (1281 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.11 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by loki (View user info) at 2004-10-25 10:07:34 EDT
Why is it that everyone feels the need to share their personal tooth story with someone who is about to have dental surgery?
cause I don't want to hear it
If you're thinking of sharing - STOP IT
I have this tooth issue going on. I went to the dentist this morning before work and find myself with a 2:00 appointment for a goddamn root canal.
oh yes imagine my delight
Whatever, fuck it. I'll just be glad when this is over with. BUT I came in to work and told new boss that I need to leave early for this special fun and delight today.
Word got out - which by the way is a HIPAA violation except that I don't really care.
There has been a steady stream of people coming by here who seem to feel the need to share.
"so I hear your having a root canal today"
"yea, looks like. bit abrupt but maybe that's best so I don't have time to stew about it"
"you ever had a root canal before"
(note: the correct answer is YES I HAVE THEM EVERY COUPLE OF DAYS TO KEEP MY VOCABULARY SHARP)
"nope, but it's on the same tooth I had a crown so yea I'm pretty fond of tooth #14 right now"
"boy I remember when I had my root canal. I remember it was a dark and stormy night when..."
So far the big winner is the person who told me she was in "the chair" having a root canal when 9/11 was going on.
REALLY THAT'S FASCINATING NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE.
This is just like in college when I had to get my wisdom teeth taken out. What I remember most fondly about that was that I didn't have dental insurance at the time or money for that matter and had to pay it off for a whole goddamn year.
The big winner there was a guy at karate who insisted on following me around and giving me a play by play description of his whole entire ordeal with his wisdom teeth. I tried to cut him off by saying that I was more worried about the money than the pain since it had to be done and I didn't have a choice. That was when he said that he just didn't think that I was properly prepared for a very painful procedure and that I wasn't taking it seriously enough.
Then I hit him square in the nose to give him something else to worry about.
No, it didn't count as assault we were in karate at the time. Ok, maybe I could have pulled it but it worked, he did shut up.
So, the moral of the story is, if you are in karate class and keep going on and on about your fucking wisdom teeth until you drive someone absolutely crazy, don't spar that person or you'll get popped in the nose...hard. Plus, no matter what that person says about oh I'm so sorry I thought you were moving back, it's a lie. That person is not at all sorry about popping you in the nose and will probably be giggling about it for years.
I wonder if I'd get fired or just sent to counseling if I popped 9/11 root canal girl in the nose.
User Reviews
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:45:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've still got my wisdom teeth. They came in no problem whatsoever. Still got my tonsils and my appendix as well.
Submitted by Allenson (user info) at 2004-10-26 01:47:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i thought the point of this was to warn you NOT to tell tooth stories...oh well
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-10-26 01:36:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a baby tooth with no adult tooth under it that produced one of the more disturbing moments in my dental history. My dentist kind of checked it out, then called another dentist in, and they both kind of eyeballed my tooth for a while, then the evil Nazi dental hygenist who I would like to mention has NEVER cleaned my teeth without REMOVING PART OF MY GUM THAT WAS DEFINITELY SUPPOSED TO REMAIN ATTACHED TO ME came in and joined the party, so now I have these three people kind of creepily staring at my tooth and occasionally making random observations about courses of action, until finally my dentist shrugged and went "what the hell, we'll just fill it and see how it does."
I find few things more disturbing than anyone with a mouth-sized drill decides to wing it.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-10-25 18:33:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have wisdom teeth trying to come in right now... It sucks. Mom is screaming at me about thousands of dollars worth of orthodontia wasted, so I'm hurrying in as fast as I can. What purpose do wisdom teeth actually serve?
Submitted by RateBot (user info) at 2004-10-25 16:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-10-25 15:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i kept my wisdom teeth
i'm going to make a necklace out of them once i get the others out
you see, i had 6 instead of the usual 4
two on each side of my upper jaw
the extra pair is very tiny and way up in the back of my skull
delicious
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-10-25 15:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmmmmmmm loki
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-10-25 14:19:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, Shut Up About Your Teeth.
Submitted by blujnbbyqn (user info) at 2004-10-25 14:00:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooohhh.... root canal huh? That sucks. I had to have 3 on the same tooth. It got sooo infected that they had to give me a lobotomy just to get at it. And that was only one! When my wisdom teeth started erupting the whole side of my jaw fell off! No lie! But the worst of all was when my.......
*splat* SIJd"oidFJSKDNF;LKWJHERIOEFKMzxc?lKVM" ]-0poawke
fwrklp
Shit, who knew Loki could slam my head into the keyboard by telepathy?
Michelle
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GET OUT THE VOTE!
Vote for the ones that aren't forfeits first, please.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:46:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAH! The next door neighbor to me was complaining for nearly a week over this subject. What the hell is wrong with people? You are dead on with this post, Loki. No question about it.
Submitted by Shlongy's gay lover at 2004-10-25 13:00:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A while back Shlongy had to have some dental work. Turns out that my spunk was so sweet that it rotted poor Shlongy's teeth. He had them all pulled, at my request. I prefer my hummers without the constant scraping of unnecessary teeth.
Submitted by great_angst (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great fucking post.
Just today I had an employee come explain how she has to be late tomorrow because she has a "new crown (the one that made her miss a day last week) that is not fitting correctly ... and it is causing a lot of discomfort ... and makes a funny cracking sound when she chews food."
I vomited on my desk.
WTF I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ALL THAT!!!
I have totally embraced HIPAA, but my employees still feel compelled to tell me about their fucked-up teeth, their clogged nasal passages, their achy backs, and their irritable intestinal tracts. I have tried to tell them "It's ok, just let me know that you're not going to be in tomorrow," but still they give me ALL the details.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:48:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:46:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When I woke up from having my wisdom teeth removed, my left hand was strapped to the chair. It would seem that whilst under the influence of lord only knows what, I had curled my little hand up into a fist and cocked it in a way that combined with the martial arts tattoo on my ankle, made them a bit jumpy.
Sorry, cheesedick but no I did not contradict myself. There is a difference between mentioning the procedure and explaining that I'm having a root canal on the same tooth as my crown, also the same tooth as my one and only cavity. You see, my old dentist was a hack and cracked my tooth filling that one simple cavity. About two years ago, I have having some problems with hot and cold sensitivity, hence the crown. Now I'm having hot and cold sensitivity again, hence the root canal. It would seem that my allergies have managed to inflame it due to sinus pressure.
Or perhaps you would like to hear about how I was having vicious headaches in college and since the doctor could not discern the cause, I was being referred to psychological counseling under the assumption that it was stress related. Just before my first appointment with the shrink, I had my teeth cleaned. It turns out that my wisdom teeth were coming in and putting pressure on my mandible causing the headaches. Ah see now I'm not crazy after all. Of course I had a dry socket and had to get it packed every week with something that caused a perpetual taste of cloves.
See dumbfuck THAT is what I mean by going on and on about your fucking teeth which I did not do in the post so step off before I call down the powers of hell fire to rot your teeth out of your head. I have killed before you know, and just recently. Granted, it was a big mouth bass but I'm perfectly justified in escalating.
Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i didn't feel a thing on my root canal.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did I ever tell you about when I got my wisdom teeth removed? No? Could have sworn I did.
Anyway, I thought I was playing it pretty cool. I brought my Walkman (TM) and some trippy music to jam out to whilst playing with my good buddy Nitrose Oxide. I had some discomfort, but considering that all the drilling was starting to smell and taste like burning, I thought I was being fairly macho about the whole thing.
Then the dentist asked me if I could please stop screaming as it was disturbing the other patients.
Guess I wasn't being as subtle as I thought I was.
But I'm sure your root canal won't be anything like that.
Submitted by tlovess (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:28:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pain meds are good. They are your friends. So is chocolate pudding. That's good too. Oh well, at least you can get the hell out of work for a while.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i will actually make myself late to class (as in... now) to read one of loki's (non-political) posts.
i love them that much.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah I was going to say that as well. When I had mine done it wasn't painful at all.
Submitted by cheesedick (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You contradict yourself. you write a post about not wanting to here about other peoples teeth stories then you tell everyone about your fucking stupid tooth story where everyone knows your having root canal. Or at least i think thats what your on about i didnt bother to read it all.
SHUT THE FUCK UP
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by cheesedick (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut the fuck up
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-10-25 11:35:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate this, too!
They start the story and I say, "STOP, I don't want to hear this. I'm sorry, but stop."
They continue.
I walk away.
They follow.
It's so annoying. SO SO ANNOYING.
Submitted by Ted at 2004-10-25 11:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyway, when I got MY root canal... it didn't hurt a bit. if you feel anything, whine and scream till they give you more drugs. drugs are good.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-10-25 11:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nitrous Oxide is my friend. Root canal doesn't hurt.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-10-25 11:13:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've nevere had a cavity or any other such thing. No gingivitis. My teeth are pretty white. My only issue is that I need braces. Shit.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-10-25 11:10:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had my wisdom teeth out under anesthesia. When I woke up I pretended to be out of it so I
could feel up the nurse and not get slapped.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-10-25 11:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:37:24 (#)
Ranking: 1
tell the doc your preferred pain medication is 80mg oxy-contin.-make him write it before he begins the work- it will make the ordeal quite a bit more bearable the next few days.
-----------------
This is the most advice you could be given.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mrwolf: I did it to be funny.
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I had my right wisdom teeth removed in a military operation.
Then I became ill, but I still have two wisdom teeth left.
Laser drills often require no anaesthesia.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:42:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You read the root canal story in "A million Little pieces" by James Frey???
Thats some dental shit...
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:39:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post was funny, the fact that everybody just replied to tell you there stories after you told them not to is even funnier.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hope it doesn't hurt.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
tell the doc your preferred pain medication is 80mg oxy-contin.-make him write it before he begins the work- it will make the ordeal quite a bit more bearable the next few days.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When I was eight, I was running, and I tripped on the sidewalk and I knocked the bottom half of my two front teeth, and I had to go for two days with roots exposed (this is agonizing). Also, I tore up the skin on my nose, forehead, upper lip, and chin. The Cut was in a vertical like about an inch and a half wide. Fortunately, none of it scarred.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto Loki +2.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49624
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've never had a cavity BUT this past spring I bit into a taco from a local Mexican restaurant and cracked my molar. Don't ask how, I still haven't figured it out. One minute I was aiming a delicious corn envelope stuffed with chicken and cheese and sour cream toward my mouth and the next I had thrown the taco across the restaurant and actually screamed. Everyone looked at me and started freaking out, mainly because they thought I had a gotten a bug served in my food. I threw a twenty on the table and rushed out to my car and flipped down my visor to see what was wrong and my molar looked all deformed.
They fixed it and they gave me Loratab.
I think the taco shell was stale.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's a radio commercial on the air right now for Burger King that has a guy bungee jumping with the harness attached to his jaw. Its followed by three sick ass crunches (to depit his jaw snapping or extending or something) and a "That's better".
That's what I imagine wisdom tooth surgery is like
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:33:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I may have sold my pain medication when I had my wisdom teeth out.
That was also the time when I missed the second day of Linear Algebra and my asshole professor said that I should drop because in his experience when a student gets behind they never catch up, especially a female student. So I went to the Dean and raised enough bloody hell about it that they ran a statistical sampling on him and found that regardless of overall GPA, women in his classes typically had a grade a full point lower than the men. It got him denied tenure.
So, in short don't fuck with me when I'm having tooth issues.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:27:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You need a valium.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Errm, might just be me, but isn't sharing stories the definition of Übersite?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Poster_Boy_KoolMang (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:16:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I remember when I had my wisdom teeth taken out. It was a fun day! I hopped in the chair (I was 18, now 19), and they put a mask on me, and I asked when I would be out as they put the needle in my arm, and then I was out. I woke up a second later, and they were done! My mouth was a mangled mess, especially my inner mouth. The surgery had actually created very horrible cold sores around my mouth, and we were in a very popular mall at the time, so I had to cover my mouth as I walked out.
I was also bleeding at the time. The dentist recommended that we stop over at Wendy's drive-thru, and get a Frostie. I remember being at home, trying to eat it, and it kept falling out and the ice cream fluid combined with the blood to make the frostie top just a little bit darker.
Right now the top row is gummed-over, but the bottom row still has a gaping hole, but fully healed. I kept picking at the stitches on the bottoms, I guess.
Was it an actual painful procedure? I mean people call procedures painful, but are they talking about the surgery process, or after waking up from anaesthesia?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had my wisdom teeth taken out on the first day of the blizzard that hit us in March of '93. We barely made it home through the snow. All of the pharmacies were closed for three days. I went three days with no pain medication. Plus, while I was still numb, I ate a subway hoagie and the food got into the one incision. The food got my jaw infected and my face got swollen like I had the mumps....
tee-hee
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:10:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a root canal done a while back, ach! who am I kidding, I'm British, we just eat more sugar until it rots right out.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
i've got a fake tooth. Had it knocked out, Cost £260!!