An Accord Of My Favorite New Authors (1205 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.3 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dr. Shabazz (View user info) at 2004-10-25 12:53:36 EDT
I have decided to give some of my favorite authors their due. I know this has been done before countless times, but I think this is a good reminder to people that all of our definitions of "good" are different. Whereas some like serious with a hint of wit, some people like their posts totally satirical and insane while maintaining intelligence.
I have decided to limit "new" as to meaning their user ID is above 9000. This is to combat the constant complaint that there is no good writing being presented by newbs. I feel that some of these are among best ever, and that we need to stick with the mindframe that this site can only get better if it also gets worse.
First, a no-brainer:
Comicbookguy
Never have I seen someone write so consistently with powerful endings and hilarious form. He has risen faster than anyone on this site, and in my humble opinion will eventually be considered one of the 10 best writers on this site.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45898 Exacting Revenge on Pre-Teen Sluts
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48726 Vows
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37826 I am an Indian kite fighter
GodLovesALittleLovin
People know if they've read a GLALL post. A hit or miss affair, with the hits being downright some of the funniest things posted here. Constantly insane and pushing for something more random than before, you'll be reading about Gene Simmons hitting on his mom one day, then read about his efforts to pull kids away from drugs. A must read if you want something satirical and nuts.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49515 I Got This Spoon That Just Constantly Prods Me Into Contemplating Suicide
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48805 That Chick From Dairy Queen Won't Stop Stalking Me
http://www.ubersite.com/m/47967 Ghost Hunting With GLALL
professorfuckface
the alter of squattail, PFF does posts that no other uber even thinks of. His posts are graphically entertaining, and with only 23 posts and over 30,000 hits already, he could easily continue to rise to his old numbers.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49251 The blasphemous medium on which we tread
http://www.ubersite.com/m/46896 Sim Jesus
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49094 Ken Bigley execution video
espo
espo is what I would qualify as a writer who is good in all genres, and therefore combines them to make fantastic stories that make you guess on whether or not it's shenanigans. A definite must.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44589 Castles Made Of Sand
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44218 A Trail Of Tears
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43617 My Girlfriend Hooked Up With A Gay Guy
tinactin
tinactin has burst open with his recent contribution to B@W. Funny, tending to stay with more known types of funny than branching out. With only 35 posts I expect to see tinactin in the top 100 someday.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/47174 All men are created equal in a McDonalds drive-thru window
http://www.ubersite.com/m/46456 Car Radio
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44929 Scared Straight
1.21 Gigawatts
The maker of Oktuberfest and overall good writer, 1.21 takes you through non-fictional jaunts of his life, with entertainment in tow. He hasn't been seen on the site lately, but I'm sure when he comes back we will hear about it.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48271 A Practical Method Of Getting Out Of A Speeding Ticket
http://www.ubersite.com/m/46975 The View From Down Here
http://www.ubersite.com/m/46486 Top Down, Chrome Spinnin'
triple_optics
Just kidding. I think he sucks. The only reason you have more than 32,000 hits is because of your little Fetish squabble and the fact that you found out how to get more hits via getting into the havok and slinging your shit around.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/47335 Fetish Want's To Be Like Me
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49244 I'm going to need to see from ID from you
So there you have it, a list of a few users who give us hope. I doubt that I would ever achieve therir greatness but hey, I'm just into giving credit where it is due.
User Reviews
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Douglas (user info) at 2005-04-02 19:48:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I never threatened to physically harm anybody you dumb fuck, I merely suggested they physically harm themselves to save me the effort.
Also, have a look here:- http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=slander
It's LIBEL if it's in print idiot - and only then if it's false. Everything I write is true: you DO bring nothing to this site and your posts are sublime only in their imbecility - It's like you just run your tiny, flaccid penis across the keyboard and then hit the 'hook me up' button and ejaculate.
Shit man, you must have to replace your Enter key each time you submit
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2005-03-16 13:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this isn't badly written, but once again, I do not see anything unique or truly creative going on.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-03-11 13:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I read them all, they all suck. I rated accordingly.
Maybe you should try something besides writing. Possibly a life as a traffic cone, or something similarly suitied to your originality level.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-02-25 19:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i am going to report your spamming immediately dannie
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-02-25 12:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-10-26 01:08:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:17:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
It IS odd. Odd that some little punk with 2 "posts" (I use the quotes due to the fact that you've only shat out 2 list posts so far) isn't keeping his mouth shut and his sphincter open like a good little newbie should.
Look. Nobody cares about your opinion because nobody cares about you.
It's true, find a way to make us care about you and what you think before expecting us to care.
Submitted by zxcvvcxz (user info) at 2004-10-26 00:50:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone ought to do a list of best user number 5443. Or best user with BOTH two Zs and two Xs in his or her log in. If such a list was made, and if I were to finish in the top five of that list, I'd be inclined to freely dispense +2s to said post.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-10-25 22:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I appreciate the love but understand that Nerf owns all over the fucking place. He is a better writer than me by a long shot.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-25 17:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sarcasm, espo. Sarcasm.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2004-10-25 15:21:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
So AJ, you're telling me that everyone here has heard of tinactin, or GLALL, or triple? Gimme a break.
And thanks for making sweet, sweet assumptions of my character after two statistical posts. You're a real winner. What exactly is Nerf better than me at? Football? Doubt it. Drinking? Who knows. Posting? Yes, though I've only done two to test the waters.
***
Tinactin- B@W
GLALL- alldumb.com
triple- Posts at least twice a day.
I'm not saying that everyone's heard of them, but a good majority of people have. I AM a real winner. Thanks for noticing. What is Nerf better than you at? Not sucking and being a shit-starting douche. First impressions count for a lot, you twat waffle.
Don't bother replying, I'm not giving you any more hits.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-10-25 16:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck? I actually made someone's list?
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-10-25 15:25:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
c'mon AJ - i know you've heard of me.
you heard me screaming you name last night, didn't you? remember, when you were giving me the reach around?
remember?
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2004-10-25 15:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So AJ, you're telling me that everyone here has heard of tinactin, or GLALL, or triple? Gimme a break.
And thanks for making sweet, sweet assumptions of my character after two statistical posts. You're a real winner. What exactly is Nerf better than me at? Football? Doubt it. Drinking? Who knows. Posting? Yes, though I've only done two to test the waters.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-25 15:00:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, that's great.
I've honestly never heard of any of them.
Here, +2.
Tool.
And for the record, NerfHerder IS better than you.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-10-25 14:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
users at 11103 = me winning, all the time.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2004-10-25 14:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Espo,
I think GLALL mentioned me overlooking Badlands as well. I'll be sure to read his stuff later on today.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-10-25 14:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks for the plug and the hitwhoring.
glad to know that my stuff is appreicated.
Also, I can't remember if Badlands is above 9000, but if he is, he should DEFINITELY be on the list - his writing is amazing.
Espo
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2004-10-25 14:00:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Christ Donkey I thought you were in the 8000's. I would have definitely put you up there over my faux ode to triple_optics. Sorry.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus 2 because you better learn from your mistakes and put me in there next time. You don't want to make Donkey angry. But I agree that Tinactin doesn't get a whole lot of recognition on this site.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i bet if you did users about 11,000 i would dominate.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:45:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I understand your hostile about the whole not being on there, but I was trying to make a point to the users who constantly bitch and complain about how good it used to be and that no one who's new can write anything of content. I've seen best of lists like this all the time and I didn't want to delve into usual territory.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never said I was humble. I wouldn't be surprised if i were the most self-centered and self-absorbed bastard on here.
As for seniority, I'm not going to dive into my stats and make you feel like a gnat, but I believe its sufficient to say that I've read a few more posts than you have and as far as this website is concerned. I know which posts are good and which ones are not.
A post that sucks the dicks of the 9000+ users while leaving old fogies limp and unsucked does not work.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It also doesn't undermine the fact that you made a comment WITHOUT reading that I stated in the FIRST paragraph that this was of users above 9000. Nice try trying to make me sound like an idiot when you're the one who needs a lesson in being humble.
-------------------------------------------------
Oh jesus this could get nasty.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:23:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait a second, so if you got into a car crash, who would give a shit on this site? Nobody. Hell you couldn't type it to them so they wouldn't know, they wouldn't care. No one REALLY gives a shit about you either herder. You think that you are better and deserve seniority on a website? a fucking website where i am trying to voice my opinions and you tell me to shut it? Thanks Hitler. You're worse than the people crying for ubersite to be fixed, you actually think you have the power to tell people what to do.
It also doesn't undermine the fact that you made a comment WITHOUT reading that I stated in the FIRST paragraph that this was of users above 9000. Nice try trying to make me sound like an idiot when you're the one who needs a lesson in being humble.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:22:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:00:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
What's that mean bob?
------------------------------------------
"Peace be upon you"
With a username like Shabazz, I'd have thought you would know that...
Unless you were being sarcastic.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It IS odd. Odd that some little punk with 2 "posts" (I use the quotes due to the fact that you've only shat out 2 list posts so far) isn't keeping his mouth shut and his sphincter open like a good little newbie should.
Look. Nobody cares about your opinion because nobody cares about you.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:07:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
Cause I'm not on the list
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User 3399. Read. The. Post. You. Idiots.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Nerfherder, read the godamn thing. Users above 9000. Are you above 9000? I didn't fucking thikn so. And for the record, you've been here for over a year and yet, I still have this overpowering feeling of not giving a shit to whatever you have to say. Odd, isn't it?
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:07:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cause I'm not on the list.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I appreciate the uh, hitwhoring for me or whatever it is, but you kind of skipped one of the best known as Badlands. 12 posts of pure greatness in my opinion. I agree that everyone on this list is solid, even optics has his moments.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You've been around for 4 days. Your opinion doesn't matter yet.
Plus, Im always bitter when I'm not listed.
Submitted by Poster_Boy_KoolMang (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:00:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I fucking hate you.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's that mean bob?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:57:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Assalam alaikum, brotha!