The Empty Party (1353 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.89 on 49 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sebcharrot (View user info) at 2004-10-26 15:26:27 EDT
"So I told this bitch, I said 'you fucking bitch, suck my cock when I tell you, nigger!'"
Everyone around me guffawed disgustingly. I blanched (but not as much as I used to), made my excuses and left the snotty kid to tell his oh-so enthralling story to the rest of the crowd. I squeezed away further into the mass, looking for a friendly face, for someone I could actually have a good conversation with. Maybe I'd find someone with a good story, or maybe even an observation I could discuss. Hell, I'd even stand for someone's opinions on religion.
But I couldn't see any of my friends. I saw a few faces I knew, but I didn't dare come forward to see what they were talking about. I had heard too many twisted opinions. Someone barged me from behind and made me spill my drink.
"Hey watch it!" I said.
The guy grabbed the painting I was trying to show people and tore it in half. "Shut the fuck up" he ordered me, and pushed me into the throng. I tried to press on back to throw a punch, or at least get a word in, but I was surrounded by his sweaty, perverted, racist friends. They all reached out and pushed me around, forming a circle and hitting me. I couldn't believe this was happening, especially here. I ducked my head and apologised as I pushed through a couple of them to go to another section of the party.
I walked right into the middle of another story, just as pointless and asinine as every other one here. I noticed, to my surprise and disbelief, that the story-teller had hidden speakers through the crowd to applaud his story and tell him it was great. Halfway through his talk, a skinhead pushed to the front of the crowd and started swearing at him. They started trading blows, and soon a dozen people -and growing- were brawling; hitting and kicking each other. I couldn't count how many people jumped into the fight and hit people in the backs. An old man with his leg in a cast was tripped up and a group started to kick it. I stepped forward to help but the old man swung his walking-stick at me, cracking me in the shins.
I hobbled away into a corner. I considered trying to find the host who had initially started the party (with the best intentions : he had placed a sign at the front of the house saying "Welcome all!" in a cheery attempt to find good people and good stories). That had been a long time ago. As more and more people came who had no stories and wouldn't listen to others', as the quality started to drop, he visited the party less and less. He would try and throw the worst offenders out, but they'd find a way back in. Through windows, under floorboards. Like rats.
A while ago, he had left and not come back since. It had fizzled away into a mob now. I finally spotted a friend at the other side of the room.
"Hey!"
I shouted. I called his name. I saw that he heard someone call him. He turned around and I noticed the terrible bruises and scars on his face. He looked into the crowd for me but a man jumped in front of him.
"What YOU staring at, FUCKER?" the man bellowed into his face. I saw my friend modestly deny anything about staring, and receive a punch in the stomach. All the while I was pushing, clawing, squeezing my way through the crowd. People would try and start fights; I was ignoring them. I continued onwards, desperate to talk to my friend. He was being beaten badly. I remember seeing him take hordes of men on at once and never coming out unbeaten. He had been fresh and strong, but too many people had tested him for too long. He was tired and aching, and was losing. Eventually the crazed man left him on the floor and walked into the rest of the mob.
I was only a few yards away from my friend now; pushing, pulling. I saw him get up and, tears in his eyes, he pulled out a crumpled envelope and let it drop by the door. I was too late to speak to him. I reached the door as it closed shut with a finality I was starting to understand. I picked up the envelope, having to push people off it and take a few blows to my head. I opened it. It was addressed to "Anyone who cares". It was a farewell.
I didn't bother to read the note. I had read farewells too many times; it was too painful. I scrunched the paper into a ball and dropped it. With the ability to see the entire room from the front door, I was able to see the degenerative mass in its entirety. He had been the last of my friends to leave. There was noone else now. No good, just hatred and violence. I watched countless numbers of people backstab, conspire, fight, bitch, moan. I saw a horde circling a newspaper, laughing at the obituaries.
It was only me now. What was the point anymore? I didn't even bother to write a letter. I took out a pen and wrote the simple words: "Goodbye, Über" on the wall. I reached for the door, opened it, walked out, and let the idiots bring it all down on top of themselves.
User Reviews
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-27 03:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shitty Saturday at work, time to read some more my friend...
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-08-26 18:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey MrWolf, thanks a lot for all the plus twos you've been giving me! Haha, it's nice to have such a devout "fan" of my posts. And thanks Tigerlilly, I'm glad you liked it. It was probably the deepest post I'll ever come up with...
Like someone below me said, the reviews on this thread kinda negates the topic of the post, but it's good to see some redeeming aspects of Uber.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-08-26 11:18:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude...this was fantastic.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-26 10:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How fucking clever?
Submitted by hornyforhugs (user info) at 2005-02-13 18:50:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
jst for bein an asshole
Submitted by hornyforhugs (user info) at 2005-02-13 18:50:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
kickass
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-02-13 12:13:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Filthy, I don't understand why you're lecturing me on this. My first comment "Incidentally; I'm not leaving, this story is just about people who are" and the fact that I have posted since kinda show that this isn't about me, it's an observation of others who were leaving for no other reason than the flamers and the mentality of Ubersite. This was a piece of writing exploring what it might be like to be in a situation where Uber was was represented as a metaphorical party, and attempting to understand the motivations for people leaving.
And ETS, the entire point of the post was Uber, sorry if you weren't happy with it. Wouldn't it have been melodramatic if I were leaving.. well, humanity? Earth?
However, isn't Uber a semi-realistic representation of the harsher sides of reality anyway?
I should stop asking rhetorical questions.
Anyway, thanks for the views. It's always interesting.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-12 13:49:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yea, yea! What she said! MOOOOO! BAAAAAAH! ...and whatnot.
You had me going with a nice little observation on humanity and then fucked it up at the end by putting it into the context of uber.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-12 13:45:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The response that this post has had almost completely negates its content, don't you think?
To express discontent with uber in this way is to express discontent with humanity. This is what people are, this is what we do. Herd mentality in its purest form. Disposing of something because you find elements of it distasteful has some fairly horrific consequences if you apply it to the macrocosm that uber reflects.
Better to stand and speak confidently for yourself, regardless of consequence, than to bray bitterly on the bus out.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-12-10 19:56:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't you want cookies and naked pictures?
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-12-09 19:22:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i want some candy!
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-11-13 07:00:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha, thanks Istaros. I thought you had seen this?
I don't know if I've already said this, but thanks to everyone for the kind words etc.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-11-12 17:32:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
how the FUCK could i have missed this!?!?!?
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-11-06 16:52:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep. That's pretty much how it is, sadly.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-11-06 16:29:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
<sigh>
You'd think that with the subject of my post, I'd understand that I couldn't go forever with a perfect +2 rating, but dammit.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2004-11-06 11:53:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Later
Submitted by titmouse (user info) at 2004-11-02 12:50:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
look at the rating, there is still hope at this party, in the meantime though im going upstairs to shit in his mums handbag
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-11-01 15:23:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I tend to just read posts from the 'Best This Week' drop-down nowadays, and yours was at the top. Nice work.
Submitted by TomcatJess (user info) at 2004-10-30 20:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-10-30 12:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2004-10-30 12:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn...This is gold. An excellent synopsis on why I refuse to post here any longer.
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2004-10-27 01:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yea... Problem is, how do you turn the bad guys out?
Submitted by boredgurl210 (user info) at 2004-10-27 00:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2004-10-27 00:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-10-26 23:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anything wrong with fighting back? I've seen parties go wrong and then right again.
All it takes is a little effort.
Submitted by RateBot (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Exactly what it feels like.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-10-26 15:35:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Incidentally; I'm not leaving, this story is just about people who are.
***
Cheeky bastard.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:45:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:24:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well put.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-26 18:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-10-26 17:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice way to put an old point. Really.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-10-26 17:30:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Coolness. I knew there was a reason that I liked you. In a strictly non-face-eating way, of course.
What?
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-10-26 17:24:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-10-26 16:52:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Work
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-10-26 16:44:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
too perfect
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2004-10-26 16:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's a party in my mind... -- Talking Heads
Submitted by UBERDOOBIE (user info) at 2004-10-26 16:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, where'd everybody go?
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-10-26 16:29:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent, sebbie.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2004-10-26 16:19:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Indeed a nice metaphore....Perhaps this is also what the world is turning into?
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-10-26 16:09:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful analogy.
Submitted by kaysee (user info) at 2004-10-26 15:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very well put.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-26 15:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-10-26 15:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
excellent portrayal of uber.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-10-26 15:41:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked how you told the story.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-10-26 15:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Incidentally; I'm not leaving, this story is just about people who are.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-10-26 15:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The point was old, but the narration refreshing