Seriously guys.. how awesome was 9/11? (1383 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: -0.55 on 69 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sepsis (View user info) at 2004-10-26 19:23:37 EDT
I remember September 11 very clearly.
I was a little groggy that morning, as I had been up all night humping a hole that I drilled into the skull of some toddler. It started to smell pretty nasty, so I slapped the stupid corpse across the face a few times. It didn't stop stinking, which pissed me off, so I took it down to my oven.
After cremating the body and snorting the ashes, I decided to watch some TV.
Needless to say, when I turned to my favorite channel - NBC - I was astounded by the video footage I saw.
Just kidding!
I laughed my fucking ass off! I was really grateful of whoever had done it.. cause man, I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time. In fact, just as I was thinking that it couldn't get any more SWEET, a second plane slams into the other tower!
... you should have seen my erection.
Anyway, a while later the TV tells me that it was OSAMA BIN LADEN that had orchestrated this whole ordeal. I thought... no way! THE Osama bin Laden? We grew up together, man! We were like this! *finger thing*
You know, I really miss that kid. He was always such a crazy motherfucker... ah, the memories. Good times, good times.
Do you feel me?
User Reviews
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2006-08-30 17:59:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2004-10-29 21:51:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bwaahahahahaha
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-29 18:32:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Seralena and Lechuga: You guys make it all the more worth while.
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-10-29 00:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2004-10-29 00:17:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-28 23:54:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
blech, didn't even read it.
-2 for whoring it on uberboard like a pussy
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Read posts before you rate them fuckwad. Or are you too stupid to realize that a post that has a high positive rating is probably written by an intellectual, unlike yourself?
You are an example of the reason we hate newbies.
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He did the same thing to me.
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-10-29 00:18:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The fuck you did.
Outside of that, I was slightly amused at the sight of planes hitting buildings, explosions, all that. What can I say? I like fire.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2004-10-29 00:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-28 23:54:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
blech, didn't even read it.
-2 for whoring it on uberboard like a pussy
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Read posts before you rate them fuckwad. Or are you too stupid to realize that a post that has a high positive rating is probably written by an intellectual, unlike yourself?
You are an example of the reason we hate newbies.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-29 00:07:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Seralena: Your grandma was a dumb whore, I killed her with my mind and she's burning in hell right now. It's probable that you are fated to the same demise.
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-10-29 00:02:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was getting ready for my grandmother's funeral when I heard about the WTC, and saw the second plane hit the building. It pissed me off. Damnit, the terrorist overshadowed my grandmother's funeral! Bastards. My grandmother deserved a kickass funeral where everyone was concentrating on how great and unique she was. Instead, everyone's simulating planes hitting buildings with their hands like complete idiots. Fucking terrorists. It's all their fault.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-28 23:41:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mitchell: I agree.
Submitted by Mitchell (user info) at 2004-10-28 20:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for pissing off so many people.
Submitted by lordzinor (user info) at 2004-10-27 08:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remeber that day, im not sure I masturbated more when princess diana died or not. It was such good TV, petty they werent filming that tunnel when she got mangled - excellent stiff, brought back fond erotic memories
Submitted by cheesedick (user info) at 2004-10-27 08:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
genius, fucking genius
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-10-27 05:08:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Just wasn't funny.
Submitted by 10c7c (user info) at 2004-10-27 04:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
lovely, this deserved +2 for the title alone
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-10-27 02:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope a badger bites your left heel really, really hard.
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2004-10-27 02:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why is it ok to make jokes about Africa where millions are dying, but not about 9/11 where a few thousand people died?
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2004-10-27 00:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sure some people are disgusted by this post. I'd like to know why those people aren't equally disgusted by the same people who laugh at Daisycutting Vietnamese or bombing Arabs?
Submitted by williamson <german39_45.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-10-27 00:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by zxcvvcxz (user info) at 2004-10-27 00:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm semi-neutral toward this topic. I wasn't, nor did I know anyone directly affected. Most Americans are still touchy about it, even though globally we've killed more people in equally horrible ways. EXPONENTIALLY more.
The world's a shitty place. They're assholes, we're assholes, and the sooner everyone realizes that, the sooner we can go back to ignoring each other. In any case, death is never funny. Except MAYBE if Michael Bolton falls off a cliff or something. I will chuckle then, but I'll hide it with my hand and then look saddened shortly thereafter.
Submitted by icarus9mm (user info) at 2004-10-26 23:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i remember getting called to turn on the tv that morning. only one plane had hit.
so i watched for a bit... and saw the second plane hit live.
it was the single coolest thing i'd ever seen.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-26 23:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sealclubber: thanks pal, get shot.
Submitted by butterball (user info) at 2004-10-26 23:30:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bdakotac (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:05:06 (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, I meant to give this asshole a -2. -2, for the number of testicles he has. He is so devoid of testicles, that he is a testicle black hole. If another man were to get too close to this shithead, that man's testicles would disappear, as well.
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+2 just for the line "he is so devoid of testicles, that he has a testicle black hole."
Submitted by sealclubber (user info) at 2004-10-26 23:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
alright, this is just bullshit
I volunteered to put my life on the line for the freedom of speech, but seriously, fuck you
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-10-26 23:02:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It was slightly more awesome than this post
Submitted by mandinga (user info) at 2004-10-26 22:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I FEEL YOU MAN, I LAUGHED TOO IT REALLY FUCKING KICKED MAJOR ASS!!
Submitted by soakedinale (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
horrible
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
>>After the towers crash, the Jedi knights come and they're like "Oh, FUCK! We could've saved them with the Force!"
Shit that's funny.
Submitted by XII (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:35:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
someone else who thought pearl harbour was crap
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Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:27:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't wait for the 9/11 movie. It will be three hours long and the audience of the future will seriously question why the first hour was on 9/11, al-queda and afghanistan...and then the last two were on Iraq.
I'd like to see them make a bullshit love story out of THAT.
Submitted by Sandman (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm gonna go +2 on this, just because I got a huge fucking smile when I recieved the awesome mental image of you, a 32 year old, bald, fat, hairy, pedophile, with huge glasses, staring into your computer whilst sitting in your mother's basement contemplating whether or not this little smattering of attention you'll recieve is really enough to delay you pulling the trigger on that .45 that you put in your mouth every night but never have the balls to actually do something about it.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:27:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't wait for the 9/11 movie. It will be three hours long and the audience of the future will seriously question why the first hour was on 9/11, al-queda and afghanistan...and then the last two were on Iraq.
I'd like to see them make a bullshit love story out of THAT.
Submitted by Thored (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, a general threat against Canandains... how... non thretening? Yes, I know my way around the united states. I mean fuck, I don't even need a map and atlas anymore!
Submitted by Poster_Boy_KoolMang (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A new breed of terrorist has formed: Canadians. Apparently, Schlongy believes that if any Canadian pokes fun at America, he has the right to come up here and beat them up. Schlongy must be the most hateful person on this site, no wonder he's so lonely.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:14:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Maybe so, but at least I don't think I'm a rapper.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:12:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
spedmonkey: I minus 2'd your post cause it sucked, pal.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:45:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
Damn right the Fire Marshall wanna shut us down
Get us out so someone can gun us down
We was two songs away from getting some cutta
Now we one song away from tearing da club up
Move over! Luda got something to say
Do it now cause 'tomorrow' ain't promised 'today'
Work wit me! let's become one with the beat
And don't worry bout me steppin all over ya feet
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Most pathetic revenge -2 I've ever seen in my life. Seriously, kid. Do yourself a favor and drink some hydrochloric acid or something.
Submitted by Poster_Boy_KoolMang (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:07:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Come to Thornhill, then. Show me what you got, piznatch!
This is the internet.
Submitted by Mitchell (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the genius in this, is unspeakable
Submitted by bdakotac (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:05:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, I meant to give this asshole a -2. -2, for the number of testicles he has. He is so devoid of testicles, that he is a testicle black hole. If another man were to get too close to this shithead, that man's testicles would disappear, as well.
Submitted by bdakotac (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:00:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would kick your face in right now.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:59:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:57:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Supreme_Overlord (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:22:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
AHahahahhahha!
Awwww, the poor little Americans don't like their big serious tragedy to be made fun of. Time to have a nappy nap.
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I don't hate this because it's making fun of 9/11, I hate it because it's stupid and immature. If you can make fun of 9/11 in a funny way, go for it, but this just sucked. He might as well have typed HAR HAR 9/11!! HAR HAR DEAD BABY SEX!! Actually, that would have been funnier...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:49:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
...know
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Please bear in mind, cowardly dipshit, that I visit Ontario quite often and now my way around pretty well.
In conclusion, fuck you.
Submitted by Poster_Boy_KoolMang (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:40:31 (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, I don't because I knew 2 people that didn't come home from work on that day, assface.
**********************
Well, well, an advantage of me over Schlongy: I didn't lose anyone I cared about in the attacks. In fact, I hated everyone in that tower, they were all corporate whores.
Submitted by Poster_Boy_KoolMang (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My pet vultures were visiting the WTC for a promo shoot for a product, and the first plane hit. They opened the window to fly out, and people tried to grab hold of them so they, too, could glide to safety, but the vultures pecked their eyes out, and flew into the sunset.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, I don't because I knew 2 people that didn't come home from work on that day, assface.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no I think 9-11 can be funny now
someone wrote a column awhile back about suggested halloween costumes for kids.
One was for 2 children. Dress one up as a skyscraper. Dress another up as a plane and put a turban and a beard on him, teach him to say Allahu Akhbar and have them play tag.
also the I *Jetplane* NY t-shirt of tshirthell.com fame is pretty clever
my negative one was given because sepsis is something of a one trick pony, I never see him trying anything different besides baby fucking and puppy killing
Submitted by Poster_Boy_KoolMang (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:29:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what the new female bitch principle did after Sept.11? She installed security cameras, and made a pledge like George Bush The Hick, to stop violence (bullying).
To stop bullying:
-stop having kids.
or:
-raise them to be gentle and compassionate people.
Also, it's called: you weed out the guys in class who are the loudest and don't really give a fuck, and expell them forever from that school. Same applies to girls, but the girl must dress like J-lo, and use "hard" ghetto-slang. Also, I've noticed over the years that nigger males tend to be less violent than nigger females. So, if the girl is a nigger, expell her for the threat of violence.
THAT is how you create an anti-violence campaign in school, similar to George Bush's anti-terrorism campaign.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-26 20:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
with all their defence systems, they couldn't stop 3 planes? where is all the money going?
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yall gotta get the fuck up outta here, ugly ass bitches
I dont understand how these bitches always get in my dressin' room
You know what I'm sayin'?
Soon as I get off stage, it's 7 or 8 ugly ass bitches posyed up in my dressin room
And security act like they dont know who did it
I know you feel what I'm sayin', I'm my nigga around the whole world
We need to form a society or somethin'
Fat, gorilla, monkey mouth bitches cant get in our mothafuckin' dressin room or backstage
And if they do, we kindly put our foot up their asses
And re-direct them bitches to security dressin' room, you dig?
Sick of these ugly ass bitches bein' my dressin' room
Submitted by Poster_Boy_KoolMang (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was in school when it happenned (duh), and I was actually pretty excited! Seriously, there were NO kids at my school crying. I went to the library where they were watching the atrocity unfold, no tears were shed. My school rocks. Also, the nerds were sayin' to me "THE IRAQIS ARE INVADING AMERICA!!!!"
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There are only a few things that should be considered "off limits", when it comes to satire or making jokes.
9/11 is one of those things, fuckface.
You're microscopic knob is another of those things.
Submitted by Supreme_Overlord (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHahahahhahha!
Awwww, the poor little Americans don't like their big serious tragedy to be made fun of. Time to have a nappy nap.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
eh
Submitted by Commie_bastard (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heil Sepsis!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-26 19:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to download mario roms right now.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're really too dumb to be angry at. So instead, I'll be angry at your parents for not aborting you with a rusty coat hanger.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:52:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
On 9/11 I got really bored because after about 15 minutes, the news recycled and I pulled out my Super Nintendo thaat I had recently found in my closet and proceeded to kick major ass in Mario World.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah man, I write about puppy massacres and shit and hardly get a rise out of anyone. But this piece has been out there only a few minutes and its got a bunch of reviews. Thanks everyone, for making me smile.
Who let these hoes in my room? (These hoes)
Who let these hoes in my room?
Who let these hoes in my room? (Did you let 'em in?)
Who let these hoes in my room? (These hoes)
Who let these hoes in my room?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Enjoyed your past posts, but this...this is just terrible.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn right the Fire Marshall wanna shut us down
Get us out so someone can gun us down
We was two songs away from getting some cutta
Now we one song away from tearing da club up
Move over! Luda got something to say
Do it now cause 'tomorrow' ain't promised 'today'
Work wit me! let's become one with the beat
And don't worry bout me steppin all over ya feet
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You need severe help.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:43:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You guys expected a story about 9/11 to be funny?
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:34:20 (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm really sorry you were severely molested as a child
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:37:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You write like our good buddy shitfuck, but minus the funny.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:37:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like cake.
http://www.usdoj.gov/ag/trainingmanual.htm
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Die. Just fucking die.
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:34:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm really sorry you were severely molested as a child
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol omg! I've never seen a post like this before! People making fun of 9/11!! Lol! Original!!
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
: (
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't want to know what you did with your fingers right there.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-26 19:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember watching Sandra Sulley showing it on the 11pm news, and I was thinking "wow, what could possibly be better than a plane crashing into a WTC building?" Allah must have been listening, because suddenly he doubled the fun. The Pentagon? TRIPLE FUCKING HEADER. I was a little dissapointed with the last one though. Still, 3 out of 4 aint bad.
Submitted by sunjunkie04 (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:26:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There was this one kid I grew up with named Sepsis. I beat the shit outta him and hate fucked his mom while his sister watched.
Good times..... good times.