There's a Reason Your iPod has Earphones - So I Can't Hear Your Terrible Music (1637 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Espo (View user info) at 2004-10-27 14:08:46 EDT
Author's Note - I know I posted before with no text - suck a fat one.
It be might the fact that I live on a college campus, but I would be willing to bet that this plague of idiocy has spread across the country like a devastating hoarde of locusts.
Every hour or so, I walk to my next class only to pass by dozens of fellow students with those little white earphones sticking out of their ugly ears.
Without exception, there is at least one mind-numbingly dull fool who drifts past me mumbling the lyrics of the "tune" he's litening to out loud.
Honestly, do these idiots have any ounce of respect for their fellow humans?
Who are you singing to?
If you're singing for my listening pleasure, please do me a favor and shut the fuck up.
If you're singing for your own pleasure, do me and everyone else who has to endure your noise pollution a favor and shut the fuck up.
Today, I had three clases.
I walked by two very streotypical mumblers that irritated me to no end.
First, there's the fat chick waddling around campus with $200 Bose Headphones screaming along to the latest Bjork album.
She's the same fat girl that tries out for singing groups on campus only to be laughed off the stage and operates under the delusion that she is "gifted," most likely because her equally fat mother has told her that she's "special" only to counteract all the belittling she had to put up with in school.
Well, sorry fatty, the only "gift" you have is the ability to single-handedly empty out the Fro-Yo machine at the Dining Hall. Get Liposuction, get some good music, and then get the hell out of my sight.
Then there's the "black" kid who, even though he grew up in upper-middle class suburbs and went to a New England Prep School, still feels the need to "keep it real" and thugs around in his baggy pants, $150 Basketball shoes (even though he doens't play), wears Lebron James jerseys, and has his "dew rag" pulled down over his eyes.
He slowly trods around campus (because cool kids are never in a hurry) with Jay-Z blaring so loud out of his earphones that anyone in a 10 foot radius can hear the lyrics and the subtle piano backbeat.
Listen up "mah niggah" - turn your fucking music down, go back to your room, and put on your Polo shirt - you're not fooling anyone.
You're not "hard", you're not "thug", you're not from "the PJ's" - you're just as white as the Biff, the golf pro down at your Country Club. Stop embarassing yourself, or I'll embarass you even more by shoving that brand new iPod Mini right up your ass.
Espo
User Reviews
Submitted by Karsh (user info) at 2005-08-23 09:41:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I walk around with my headphones blaring, screaming Taking Back Sunday lyrics at the poor foolish souls I come across. I'm as guilty as gangsta boy, so sue me.
Submitted by Huber_the_Nose (user info) at 2004-10-29 04:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yea man....but its not just Ipods....anybody listening to their music on headphones where i can hear it deserves to be shot. I always use the big ass headphones anyway.....that way i can listen to it as loud as i want without disturbing anyone on the train. Of course i dont sing either.....
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-10-27 23:51:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
preach on brother.
Submitted by Tastycat (user info) at 2004-10-27 23:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel your pain. I usually just slap the motherfuckers.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-10-27 19:13:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
when will I learn that rants very rarely get good reviews...
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-10-27 17:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought this was pretty good for a rant.
Submitted by UlfGabe (user info) at 2004-10-27 17:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
" Vritual Boy and the first N-Gage"
man those things sell like fresh hotcakes, i cant keep enough of them.
tool
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-10-27 16:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Especially aggravating on public transportation.
Submitted by Thereisnogod (user info) at 2004-10-27 16:14:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're not "hard", you're not "thug", you're not from "the PJ's" - you're just as white as the Biff, the golf pro down at your Country Club.
Yes, we're ALL as white as the Biff. YOU FUCKING DORK
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2004-10-27 16:09:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know exactly how you feel. . . There are several random wiggers "The white rapping man" that blast the shit out of their iPods, and all it is is 50 cent. I swear, nothing else. Makes me want to kill myself everytime I hear the phrash "drink bacardi like it's your birthday." Bullshit.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-10-27 15:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bought an ipod mini because they're cheaper and there is no way in hell i have enough songs to fill a normal ipod. The only problem is the eight hour battery life.
I guess I know work is over when my ipod dies...
Submitted by bdakotac (user info) at 2004-10-27 15:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Insightful. The people he describes may have issues other than the ones he lists, but the people he describes definitely have issues.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-10-27 15:02:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm actually quite suprised that ipods caught on like they did. When they first came out I told all my friends that they would be as short-lived and the Vritual Boy and the first N-Gage. Guess I underestimated the idiots in the world.
And why don't people listen to good ol' fashioned Metal? Hello, people? You know that you're listening to good music when you hear the devil say "Come to Satan, let battle commence!" The song is called Crusader, and they STILL figured out a way to work the devil into it.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-10-27 15:02:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This seems like a good way to begin a post, but not very much of an actual post itself.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for young, angry white men
Submitted by Don_Megga (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh and p.s. i read your post about the M3 Power (but i'm commenting here so you will see it). Dude, my Mach 3 Turbo got STOLEN from my aptartement during a party I had. STOLEN. Along with 4 brand new Turbo blades. So my friend who works for Gillette got me an M3 Power. Holy shit those things rock so goddamn hard it is unbelievable. First time I shaved with one I creamed my pants.
I wrote Gillette an email saying how awesome the M3 Power was (this was probably in early Sept.) and I got a letter in the mail from the head engineer of the M3 Power saying "thank you" along with some coupons for "upto $1 any Gillette product." It would have been cool...if Gillette's products werent so expensive.
But yeah, the M3 Power is amazing.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm just sooooo sick of this frickin iPod phenomenon.
I take the train to and from work everyday (Metronorth train to NYC) and I swear, the iPod to human ratio is about 3 to 1.
...fuck it...I want one too...
Submitted by Don_Megga (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I know what you're saying. iPOD's are quite lame. However, I guess I am fortunate enough to not have that many assholes on my campus. However, I do have more than enough of the stereo-typical, "girls/guys who spend 4 hours getting ready and dressed up to go to class." I go to class in sweatpants. I see kids for 8am classes dressed like they are going to clubs. It's ridiculous.
But every now and then, there is the one asshole who walks around with their music blasting. And to top it off, they rap with whatever mainstream "rap" song is "hot" at the moment, and move their hands like they are scratching on a turntable.
Goddamn. This is making me start a new rant. Assholes who drive around my campus with their windows down (no matter what the weather is) and music turned up as loud as it can go. So loud you can hear the screws rattle in their doors. Yeah, the bass resonating out of your steel trunk sounds really nice...
Some people just have no respect for their fellow man.
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I actually found this kinda funny.Drivel, but not mindless nonetheless.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
www.xanax.com
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-27 14:35:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut the fuck up
Submitted by scrumdown (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What a poor, poor, waste of a campus rant. Try the litle eighteen year old nymphs who dress for class as if they were going to be in the new Lindsey Lohan video(uuummmmmm.....Lindsey Lohan), making it so very fucking hard for a returning student like me to fucking concentrate. That would be a good rant. Hmmmm....maybe I should do that one.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:30:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
bleh, but i feel your pain
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Not great.
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
stupid rant, next time complain about the stupid rants on uber.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:12:16 (#)
Ranking: 1
Since I am neither a fat chick, nor am I black, nor do I own an iPod, then I cannot relate. Oh, and I don't see too many iPods around my campus either.
I've seen better, Espo. Come on.
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I got bored in Philosophy today and decided to rant a little...that's what happens when your prof starts going off about van Inwagen and his bullshit Free Will Theodicies.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:14:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll take mumbling idiots and IPods before hearing shitty systems in rusty, rickety Olds Eighty-Eights anyday.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Since I am neither a fat chick, nor am I black, nor do I own an iPod, then I cannot relate. Oh, and I don't see too many iPods around my campus either.
I've seen better, Espo. Come on.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:11:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kids & their toys...