Michael Moore Has Sex With Kermit the Frog. (805 hits)
Category: NewsRating: -1.2 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (View user info) at 2004-10-28 09:31:37 EDT
My body was once marked for death,
By Tigre's poisonous breath;
I writhed and I screamed,
Then danced and I beamed--
The weirdness was only the meth.
What's up with politics nowadays? Everyone acts like they know but they don't. I mean, Michael Moore makes about as much sense as Bill Clinton sex with Kermit the Frog at the Battle of Antietam. And furthermore, what's up with the deoxymonohydratonucleosis? Fo' rill!
On a sadder note, yesterday marked the passing of Babe Ruth's curse. I had a beer with him after the game and he explained to me that he was just sick of it. He was also busy getting head from Marilyn Monroe. Damn, Joe DiMaggio would have been pissed if he wasn't busy fucking Bille Holliday. Jungle Fevah in the hizzee!
The lunar eclipse revealed two things to everyone last night:
1. Sports writers will always include naturally occurring phenomena in their articles to try and make the casual sports writer go "ooohhh, he's right...that is sooo weird..."
2. Scientists hype things up a bit. When they said it would turn a "deep shade of red," I was expecting it to look like someone's face after getting it bashed in with a large wrench. Instead it looked kind of a boring pink. Like a 35-year-old virgin female.
Right-o. Nite!
I once wrote really shitty,
But then I learned to be witty;
"You still suck!", you say,
"You dumb fuck!", oy vey--
At least I know I'm still pretty.
User Reviews
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-10-28 13:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are gay, yes?
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-10-28 12:48:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
zoid, you wish I were making minimum wage.
If you knew how much I was making to fuck around on Uber (on the low, of course), you'd shit your pants.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-10-28 12:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
slow day in the drive-thru today?
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-10-28 12:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'M DEAD SEXY!!!!!
"Yea, you'd prbbably be sexier dead, alright."
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-10-28 12:00:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I lied, heh heh ha ha hoo hooo hee heeee
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-28 11:46:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thought you were leaving!
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-10-28 11:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
goddammit domenad, now you're on teh non-suck list....come on people, work with me here!!
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-10-28 10:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What can I say? These are funny. Red like a face bashed in with a wrench? That's GOLD!
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-10-28 10:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually this is better than most of the crap posted.
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-10-28 10:01:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't -2 for revenge! I do it out of love!! I swear!!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-28 10:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment, bitch.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-10-28 09:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-10-28 09:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're a real piece of work, fuckhole.
I auto -2ed you because your post was garbage...believe me, it's hard to squeeze a -2 out of me, much less an automatic -2.
Next time, post something worthwhile.
And don't be a little bitch and -2 all of my posts (that actually took some thought and work) for revenge.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-10-28 09:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this isn't automatic, it's earned.
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-10-28 09:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Zandy, it's "AUTO -2" or "AUTO JABBA -2", not "autoMATIC -2". Jeeezz.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-10-28 09:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
automatic -2
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-10-28 09:36:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
awesome as ever
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-10-28 09:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cuckingfunt (user info) at 2004-10-28 09:24:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Add me to your list so I can bitch about being on it! CUNT!
--------------------------------------------------------------
cuckingfunt, you are now on my list...but you +2'd me, so you are on the non-suck list. If you wish to be transferred to the suck list, I will require at least one (1) -2 and two (2) insults and/or threats against my life.
Thank you for your interest in Jabba_the_Shit's Suck List!