Carry on Slaying 2 - Carry on Rioting (446 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 2 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ancius (View user info) at 2004-10-28 10:22:15 EDT
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Subdue the local population they say. Bunch of civilians they say. No immediate danger, CAF weapons only they say.
When will I learn that they always lie?
Err...I mean...The company is perfectly entitled to choose the amount of information revealed to it's employees depending on their need to know about any given situation. Right.
...
10.29 : Civilian uprising downtown sector 14. Subdue and detain. So much for a quiet night watching alien sex channel. Here I am again with the goon squad. I swear the Frother is using our APC as a urinal when no-one is looking.
10.40: Arrival and dispersal. Take up observation position on the dam. Estimate over 3000 civilians in state of unrest. Shivers are withdrawing due to Operative presence. Backup positions only. Like it matters.
10.50: Frother and Ebon begin negotiations. A junkie in a skirt negotiating with angry downtowners. Great.
10.52: Frother sprays the area around him with 10mm hi explosive squash heads quoting "threatening behaviour on the part of the civilians".
10.53: <expletives deleted>
10.54: Ebon folds out. Smart guy.
10.55: Civilians open fire with CAF weapons. Even powered armour will take a beating from thousands of ball bearings being shot at it at point blank range. Sniping a path for the Frother proves ineffective.
10.57: Frother pulled out by the Wraiths climbing line being shot into his shoulder. He leaves a rather cool shape of himself against the wall, shown in relief against thousands of bullet holes. Imbecile.
11.10: Dispersal shivers and a 3rd eye news van on scene. 2 dispersals take up sniping positions beside me. 17mm snub nose rifles. Nice piece of kit that.
11.15: Regroup. Ebon and Frother sweep and clear the building they are in, Wraith takes up position on roof.
11.20: Frother decides to shoot up a resident of the apartment with Ultra Violence. Subject is approx 65 years old. He proceeds to grab 2 kitchen knives and charge out of his window at the mob.
11.21: Unfortunately his window is on the 6th floor. He falls all the way screaming some kind of battle cry before turning into pizza. Proved to be a 30 second distraction for the vast majority of the mob.
11.25: Ebon discovers pirate signal being broadcast over the net of the riot...sorry 'disturbance'.
11.26: Judgement call. 17mm snub nose shell to the fuel tank of the 3rd eye van under the impression that it has being taken over by subversives.
11.27: Pretty colours.
11.28: Pirate signal still being broadcast. Decide it would be better to never speak of this again.
11.35: Civilians are getting out of hand. Ebon decides to bring the situation to a head. He calls in for the property waivers while I make my way to the emergency release control valves for the dam.
11.40: Now THAT'S a lot of water. It also appears to be quite acidic. Good thing we got those property waivers. Shame those Dispersal shivers got shot off their positions and washed away by the tide.
11.55: The APC got caught in the washout. Looks like we are getting the train home. Can't say I'm going to miss it that much though. Off to the Pit I think, I hear there's a good gig tonight.
Download ends...
Mission analysis:
Wraith and Ebon increase SCL appropriate to mission. Frother handed over to clan for disciplinary action.
Human scout under investigation for the possible assassination of 2 dispersal shivers and 3 Third eye news personnel, grievous bodily harm to civilians, actual bodily harm to civilians, destruction of company property, misuse of public amenities, and the theft of one 17mm snub nose rifle.
End briefing.
User Reviews
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-10-28 11:44:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"11.28: Pirate signal still being broadcast. Decide it would be better to never speak of this again."
Gold, pure fucking gold!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-28 10:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't understand but still enjoy.
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2004-10-28 10:36:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hmmmm....somewhat funny.