The Survivor - Twenty-six (841 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: The_Survivor
Rating: 2 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <brdn_nkd.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-10-29 10:33:10 EDT
Part 1 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/47397
Part 2 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/47534
Part 3 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/47688
Part 4 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/47784
Part 5 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/47955
Part 6 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/48120
Part 7/8 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/48263
Part 9 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/48399
Part 10/11 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/48513
Part 12/13 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/48700
Part 14/15 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/48779
Part 16-18 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/48915
Part 19 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/49334
Part 20 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/49638
Part 21 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/49717
Part 22/23 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/49818
Part 24/25 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/49950
We returned to camp after burying Amy and returned to our fire, once again hashing out our options. We still could not come up with a way for us to get off the island but to play along with their mad game. We decided that Amy and Rachel should never be alone and as much as they didn't like it they finally agreed to not leave camp without another member of the group. We went to bed; Gina and I shared our blankets and curled up next to each other. I don't know about anyone else but I didn't fall asleep until much later that evening.
I looked at the tree where we received our "tree mail" and made another notch to mark the days. Today was the eighteenth day by my tree count, almost halfway through the six weeks. Just eight of us left, how can they be doing this? I ponder the question some more and still arrive at a no answer conclusion. No I can't fathom treating people this way, no I don't want to continue this "adventure", most importantly, no I don't see a way out of it. That day dragged by slower than I thought was possible. We attended to the duties of camp, tried fishing, and made rope from the tree vines, anything to keep our minds off the current situation. All of us returned to bed early that evening and again I lay with Gina in my arms not able to fall asleep.
The following morning Rachel found tree mail.
"You've accomplished what Sisyphus could not through sheer strength and strong will
This next challenge though tough can be finished much the same
Overcome buoyancy that's the name of the game
Come to the beach when you're ready to play
And hope that you finish to have a nice day"
Rachel got everyone up and we ate a meager breakfast in silence. When we were finished Rachel suggested we get it over with so we all trudge to the beach to see what they were going to do to us now.
Jeff greets us and begins: "You will have two hours to complete today's challenge. Failure to work on the challenge during those two hours will be death. There will be no penalty for not completing today's challenge aside from the stench of defeat that will follow you to camp. Your mission today is to secure that raft to the floor of the ocean. Once you enter the water you cannot return to land until the mission is complete or time runs out. You may take breaks by coming into shallower water. The only thing you are not allowed to do to sink it is to try to hack it into smaller pieces; it must be whole when you're done in order for you to gain your reward. Your reward will include a shower, dinner, provided by Chili's, and a night in our guest suites. Our suites have very comfortable beds, and a hot tub in each room. Your time will begin when the first of you enters the water. Good luck."
The raft was about thirty yards from shore; it looked like it was made of large logs bound together with rope, and seemed to be tethered to the bottom. I turned to Jeff, "do we all have to go into the water together?"
"No, as I said in my instructions, once one of you enters the water your time will begin, but you do not have to go all together."
So I told the group what I was thinking: "we should send two people to try to push it down so we can see what we're up against. If it seems like we can push it down ourselves the rest of us will come help and we'll be done."
Denny and Todd volunteered to go out first. They walked into the blue surf and when it got deep enough began swimming. We watched as they reached the raft and began pushing. It didn't move much. They climber on top of it and we were dismayed that even with their weight on top it didn't sink much lower into the water.
I shouted out to them "How far to the bottom?"
They yelled back "fifteen feet"
"Is the bottom rocky or sandy?"
"Rocky"
I thought for a moment more and then told the group that I thought I might have a workable solution. I thought if we could gather enough rocks to stack on top of it that me might be able to sink it. It was going to be tough work but I thought we could do it. The others agreed and we began our swim out to the raft. Gina filled Denny and Todd in on our plan as the rest of us started diving. Gina and Randy tried to dive to the bottom and were unable to get all the way down to pick up rocks so they swam toward shore so they wouldn't have to go as deep and we all began mining the sea.
When Jeff called out to us that and hour had passed we had a sizeable pile of rocks on the raft but it didn't seem to be sitting much lower in the water. Denny, Todd, and I climbed up on top of it and though it sank a little more it was still far from ready to go down. We returned to our work, continuing to pile as much rock on the top as possible. We worked franticly trying to dive as quick as possible and return with as much material as we could. Gina and Randy were wearing fast since not only were they diving but they had to swim in and out in order to be of assistance. When Jeff called out the half hour warning we tried to get on the raft again but as Denny put his weight on it, it began to tilt toward him spilling some of our hard won rocks back into the water. We quickly abandoned hope that we could use our own weight on top to sink it and returned to our mining operation. The promise of the reward kept us all working as hard as we could and as Jeff called out the fifteen-minute warning we could see the raft was starting to wallow lower in the water. At the five-minute warning I urged Denny, Todd, and Randy to grab a corner and push with me. I thought if we could get it down to the bottom that the others could pile more rocks on faster. So we pushed, and when we reached the bottom used one hand to grab rocks and the other to hold it down. One by one we had to return to the surface. But when the last of the group, Randy, threw the last rock on and push himself back toward air the raft stayed on the floor. One of the film crew that was under the water filming waved to Jeff to signal we were done just as he began to count down from ten. Jeff kept counting and said "time's up!"
We all looked at him blankly, could he possibly be saying that he was not going to count this as our victory? We began to swim to shore and as I walked out of the water I started to protest. Jeff held up a hand and congratulated us on our accomplishment. He led us directly to the compound where the crew was staying and showed us to the guest suites. They were away from the main building and were decadently furnished. We ate as a group enjoying good, hot, food. As we retired to our rooms I asked Gina to come to mine and she accepted. That was a great day and a better night. I marvel, even now, that we could be so happy in such a short time after being down in the pits. The emotional roller coaster we were riding didn't end that night but I think that was definitely one of the highest points, the unfortunate thing about the highest part of a roller coaster is the drop on the other side tends to be the biggest.
User Reviews
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-19 06:24:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-12-28 06:12:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-11-04 11:29:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, at least he got to share a private night with her before she dies.
Submitted by Wrightcopy (user info) at 2005-09-08 14:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*sighs in relief* They made it! They did the challenge.
Now I get to see what awfullness you came up with for them next.
You definitely know how to write something suspenseful enough to not be boring and to keep the reader reading.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-29 19:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-03-01 17:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-01-21 00:20:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-11-26 12:20:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-10-29 10:48:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 As usual
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-11-01 07:32:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you stop writing this, you will be reliving Jeremys' fate. Continue.
Submitted by packofqtips (user info) at 2004-11-01 04:43:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Julia (user info) at 2004-10-29 12:36:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry I didn't read this series before. Although you could use some editing, I really like this story. I've gone back and read almost all the other chapters. I can see each chapter easily being expanded to book-length, or better yet, the entire piece made into a movie. Seriously. Have you considered it? Of course, you'd have to make "Survivor" into another reality-survival show, but that's feasible. I honestly think this story could make a great thriller. There was that "Little Eye" movie or whatever it was called, about a group of kids in a house on a reality show. That movie blew, but the concept was good.
I like how you switch points of view and move from first to third person at times. Like I said, you have some small problems with general grammar, but it's a very absorbing story. Excellent work.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2004-10-29 12:06:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woops, thanks for pointing that out, will have to fix that, should have been rachel that was bitchin. thanks again for reading.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-29 11:46:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good thing Mang's ratings don't count.
Take a little more care with names - Amy is buried in line 1, then complaining in line 3.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2004-10-29 11:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks guys, I didn't like the show much either but I was thinking about what to write and this seemed to have potential. I didn't know it would end up being this long especially given the fact that there's more to come. Thanks for reading it all!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-10-29 11:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never liked the show Survivor, but I like the stories.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-10-29 10:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 As usual
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-10-29 10:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment