Time to decide (Part 3) (424 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by oddbob (View user info) at 2004-10-29 10:42:11 EDT
Part 1 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/49820
Part 2 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/49931
For the next few days all he did was turn things over in his mind. Since he'd walked away all those months ago things had got worse than he'd imagined possible. Now he was being asked to go back to the world he had left behind to help out people he barely knew anymore. Even worse was that the world he was supposed to revisit sounded like one of greater excess than the one he had left.
The phone call from Paul was not an easy one. his old mate had slowly laid out what had happened. About 2 months after he'd walked out on the group the drug use had escalated and turned serious- both in the quantity and the type of use. A couple of the others were now suffering from the effects of coke addiction, ecstacy was used most nights, crack had started making appearances more and more often. Basically it had all gone a bit madder than anyone had realised before it was too late.
Paul had gotten addicted to coke, and it had cost him his job. By the time h'd found another one he was behind on the rent for his flat. Right now he was on the verge of losing a second job because of his unreliability, and if he lost this job then the flat would probably soon follow. He said he wanted to get clean and try to get some sanity back in to his life. Paul, it was pretty clear, was in something of a mess.
"You just walked away from the whole scene. I don't know anyone else who has ever done that. I need to do the same, I need you to help me do it," Paul had pleaded.
So he had spent the last few days asking himself if he believed he could help Paul, and maybe some of the others too. Not just if he could but if he would, if he was willing to risk himself by returning to a scene he knew he could quite easily and happily settle into if he spent too much time there. He only stayed on top of drugs now by making sure he stayed away from them most of the time, by not being around people taking them too much. He'd walked away once, but he wasn't certain that he would be able to do the saem for a second time.
In the end he decided that he had no choice but to help. He couldn't ignore this, leave the others to rot and hope to keep a clean conscience. Feelings of guilt were already playing on his mind, although he knew that he shouldn't attach any blame to himself. The others had been unable to handle the drugs and that was their fault, not his. All the saem he couldn't help but wonder whether things would have been different if he'd stayed around - although most likely, he thought, was that he would be as fucked up as the others right now. Relieved as he was that he wasn't in the same trouble as the others, in a way he wished he'd been around so he might have stopped it all happening.
Over the next few evenings he went to see the others, thankfully managing not to allow himself to settle. He told them what he was willing to do, and gave them all the chance to give it a go. He was basically offering to babysit them as much as possible so that they didn't have the opportunity to do the drugs. However, he wasn't going to waste his time, and if they couldn't be bothered to put in any genuine effort then he didn't give a rats arse, they could go hang. He made it clear that he wasn't going to let them put him at risk- he liked his life right now. It wasn't getting screwed up.
In the end only Paul and one other guy, Ben, took him up on the offer. They spent every night at his place, pretty much living out of there for the next few weeks. It took a while but things did slowly start to improve for both of them. Paul (just) managed to hang on to his job and his flat. Ben had a tougher time of it at first, as he'd been more heavily into the crack than any of the others so withdrawl was especially brutal for him. They got him through it though, albeit with a lot of effort and patience. Things were starting to look up for all of them. He had a couple of his old friends back, and they were starting to pull their lives back together. Then the bombshell dropped.
Jennifer got hooked on heroin, but was very careless about who she got supplies off. THe doctors described it as a dirty hit, and although they understood the words none of it meant anything. All they knew was that Jennifer was dead. It was too much to handle. He had, in the past, been very close to Jennifer and her death hit him hard. Old habits don't just die hard, if they're given the chance they come back with a vengeance. He started doing whatever he could get hold of, without any thought given to what had gone before. Luckily for him Paul, who hadn't known her as well, was straight enough at this point to pull him back from the brink. Ben wasn't as fortunate. He too had been close to Jennifer and her death pushed him deep inside himself and back into the arms of crack. He never recovered and as his dependence grew he drifted away. No-one was quite certain what happened to him, although it was thought that he ended up in London, living in cardboard city.
The pain didn't go away, it never does entirely when you lose someone you're close to. But time carried on and he learnt to deal with it better. Him and Paul carried on looking out for each other, keeping each other from slipping when times got bad. In time a couple of the others started coming around, slowly cleaning themselves up. At times he felt like a drug rehab counsellor, but it didn't bother him. He felt like he knew them again- no longer were they old friends, now they were just friends.
As he sat down and thought back over the last year he realised what a journey he had taken. He had lost and found himself. He had lost friends and been lucky enought o have the chance to find some of them again. Some things were gone and he could never get them back, but his life had gained some totally new things through this. He'd been told before that life was about the journey, not the destination. He'd always seen the sense in this, but never before had he truly been able to appreciate the truth in it.
As he blew the cigarette smoke into the cool night air he looked up at the stars and smiled. For once there was no pressure on him, no difficult choices to make beyond what he was going to eat tonight. There was no decision to make, and his time was his.
User Reviews
Submitted by oddbob (user info) at 2004-10-29 12:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The first part was pretty much true, the second and third parts became increasingly fictional, based upon fears of mine.
TigerLily, thanks for the book recommendation, i'll give it a try.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-10-29 11:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I enjoyed it but it began to get very difficult to read. Kind of patchy if you will. And minor recurring mistakes such as h's instead of he's and saem instead os same. apart from that I enjoyed it. the first two parts more than this but on the whole a good story.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-29 10:53:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Real life?
The first episode was believable. This was not.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-29 10:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed reading this and it reminded
me of a book I read. If this story is
based on actual events in your life, you
may want to consider reading this book
as well. It is fantastic.
http://www.randomhouse.com/nanatalese/millionlittlepieces/
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-29 10:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Never start a sentence with 'Basically'