Urine, Kerry, Bush, and Breasts (578 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 0.52 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (View user info) at 2004-10-29 11:39:52 EDT
I peed and I peed some more,
Into Tigre, that little whore;
Shlongy got raped--
We have it on tape--
Then we shoved his ass straight out the door.
Ahh, life. Ain't it grand? The city is so beautiful. Playboy had a special on female masturbating techniques this morning. That reminded me of one TigerLilly. Lillian. If only I could rhyme that name. With something besides Gillian. Or "Billy in". Or "Philly wins!" Mmm hmm.
So I was reading some more shit about Bush and Kerry this morning. With The Election coming up in a matter of days, I got to doing some heavy thinking. And I came up with the following:
Can you imagine John Kerry having sex? Isn't that one of the more repugnant things you can think of? Bush, he's stupid, slow, dimwitted, etc., but not a homely fellow. At least in comparison to Kerry. I keep reading how Johnny-by was some kind of suave ladies man...
.
.
.
.
FUCKING GROSS!!!!
His face is longer than the coast of California; his chin, a not so scaled down version of Florida. No wonder he's such a better candidate for prez--you can make a perfect map of the United States on his fucking face! And this dude 'charmed the ladies'? What the fuck is it with women and power? How is that such a turn-on? I understand if a dude is loaded and you like feeling secure, but come on--he's hideous!
And just to further extend his legacy, he has those two daughters that look JUST...LIKE...HIM! Man, I tried jerking off to that pic of his daughter and that see-through gown deal--NO DICE! My peener ran for cover inside of me and refused to come out for a long time.
Guys can fuck a chick worth a net -$200,000,000 in a pool of vomit if she's hot enough. We'll just be sure to dash out of the situation like ninjas before she starts looking for support.
Well, I'm throughly grossed out now.
Here,
TigerLil'd be the best,
If she showed me her breast(s);
It would harden my brat, [you know, like BRATwurst]
I'd cum on the spot,
Then I'd need 12 hours of rest.
"I'm just a nigga that loves titties."
User Reviews
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-10-29 13:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
uh...what?
I wasn't trying to prove that women like power--like you said, everyone knows that--I was just contrasting what turns on a female and what turns on a male. Beeotch.
And Lillian...yes. Yes, I iz so craaazy. But it's a contained craziness like a carbonated beverage. Or semen in the nutsack.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-10-29 13:23:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"Guys can fuck a chick worth a net -$200,000,000 in a pool of vomit if she's hot enough."
You write something like that (which makes no sense, btw) and you can't understand why someone like Kerry can get laid?
I don't get it.
For the record, everyone knows that yes, power is a turn on to women. Pull your head out of your ass.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-10-29 13:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I try not to laugh. I do anyway.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-29 12:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jabba...you so crazzy!
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-10-29 12:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Goddamn meetings....
Hmm...camwhore, eh? Dunno, have to think about it. And find my digiCamera device. You know, a digital camera.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-10-29 12:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man whore !
Man whore !
Man whore !
Man whore !
Man whore !
what ?
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-29 12:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
CAM WHORE CAM WHORE CAM Whore
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-29 11:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
willy sin
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-10-29 11:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
one of these days, I'm gonna show ya'll my titties.
my MAN-titties.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-10-29 11:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for making up words
"awesomnity"
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-29 11:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I say go for it.
I will probably post one
eventually, but I thought I'd keep everyone
in the dark a little longer.
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-10-29 11:54:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WOO-HOO!! The most beatiful of limericks ever beholden in mine eyes is now etched in my brain.
::sniffle::
So....how bout a camwhore?
I'm thinking of posting one, but I'm a little worried about Uberers being blinded by my awesomeness. Or awesomnity.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-10-29 11:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kollpere mn herheys asdjafr!!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-29 11:47:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There once was a dude named Jabba
Who's post's erupted like Lava
He pissed off lots of users
On this site here called Uber
But now I'm his #1 momma.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-10-29 11:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Somebody has a crush...
awwwwww