Nothing special, just a camwhore (1184 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by strangeparadox (View user info) at 2004-10-29 18:27:44 EDT
I have become completely paralyzed from the neck down. I cannot move anything other than my left pinky finger which is what I am typing with. This is a result of lying in bed for too many days in a row. This is why I have not posted for weeks.
Strange thing happened to me the other day. I woke up naked in a pile of sawdust in the back of the campus sawmill. Two reasons this is strange: I didn't even know my campus HAD a sawmill. And the last thing I remember was being at a toga party a couple miles away from my school.
Waking up in a pile of sawdust is very uncomfortable. You realize that you have splinters in all sorts of not good places.
I couldn't find my clothes so I searched the sawmill and found an old dirty flannel. I assume some lumberjack abandoned it because of the strange white sticky substance that was covering it. It was hard for me to decided whether I would rather actually wear the flannel or just sprint across campus in the nude. I opted for the flannel.
I made it back to my room with only an encounter with a small bear. Bears don't seem to mind the state of dress you are in so it mostly just ignored me. That was fine with me since I didn't have time to fend off bears. I needed to find someone who could tell me how I ended up in the sawmill.
The story ends here. No one could tell me how I ended up there or where my clothes went. I'm assuming someone slipped me a roofie, but as I don't remember, I don't really care. Maybe I just drank to much, wandered a few hours through the woods to the sawmill I didn't know existed, threw my toga into the woods and passed out in the sawdust. Sounds like something I would do.
User Reviews
Submitted by EPatrick (user info) at 2005-02-21 21:32:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice chin hair.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-10-30 03:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
god you're hot
i'm not talking about the fucking picture either
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-10-30 03:21:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Someone probably slipped something in your drink, and then raped you while you slept.
But I wouldn't worry about it if I were you... I mean, it's not like you can remember it anyway, right?
Also, I'd like to say that this post would rule so fucking much if there was a picture of you naked in a pile of sawdust.
SO FUCKING MUCH!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-10-30 01:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's not gonna be an ORGY; it's a toga party.
TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!
uhhh.. . toga.
Beware the toga-punch.
Submitted by bdakotac (user info) at 2004-10-29 23:20:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
don't put camwhore in your title unless you are gong to have a picture of breasts
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2004-10-29 21:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I had a dime for every time that's happened to me, I'd have twenty cents. Now replace sawmill with abandoned apartment complex, and replace waking up naked with waking up next to a dead hooker, and I'd have about three dollars.
WOOOOHOOOO go sleep deprevation!!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-29 21:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So are you laughing, or writhing in ecstasy?
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-10-29 21:06:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd do you...
...in the pooper!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-10-29 20:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whoa, nice legs.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-10-29 20:02:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy crap, you're a chick?
Submitted by Isle of Capybara <me.at.lsdna.com> at 2004-10-29 19:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That doesn't look like sawdust. It looks like Mars.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-10-29 18:55:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I expected you to be naked and covered in sawdust. By the way, that might be the greatest fuckface comment ever.
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-10-29 18:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the ultimate sexually confused bionic predator
Submitted by GhostWriter (user info) at 2004-10-29 18:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, wasted yo
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-10-29 18:39:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Looks like the guy who played shaggy in the scooby doo movies in drag.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-10-29 18:39:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You look like a big, ugly hotdog.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-29 18:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
terrible
Submitted by strangeparadox (user info) at 2004-10-29 18:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yeah i didnt get kicked out ...im on probation and i had to write a letter of apology to the girl and plead with the schools president, but in the end they took pity on me and let me stay.
its me on lsd
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-29 18:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tell me, is it me who's on LSD or you?
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-10-29 18:32:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting.
You said you were getting kicked out of your school last I saw. Should've posted about that.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-29 18:31:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-10-29 18:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
mildly entertaining