Baggage Handling (695 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.8 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Iago (View user info) at 2004-10-31 15:52:52 EST
Breaking into baggage handling is a difficult business. Each year airports receive thousands of applications from people who wish to become international airport baggage handlers. Only a few make it and are sent to the airport.
Baggage handling school is near Basingstoke, and I have been kindly granted an interview with the training officer
"Well dropped Ellis! Remember to keep your eyes off the case at all times and your weight on one foot so that if you do accidentally catch the case then you'll lose balance and scatter the contents all over the floor.
"One handed please, Wilson."
"Clumsiness and complete lack of concentration are the qualities I'm looking for in my recruits. You can't teach a person to be clumsy and careless. They are or they aren't. There's a lot of potential out there. Of course we let a few boys slip through our hands.
"Your not bashing the corner of that attaché case enough, Wilson! Get a grip, Man! Never forget the fundamentals of baggage handling!"
Johnny 'Butterfingers' Andrews is one of the top professional baggage handlers.
"It's nice to come back here and attend a refresher course. It's so easy to get into bad habits like putting two cases owned by the same person or family on the carousel at the same time. Our instructors drill into us that professional handlers separate them so that passengers have to wait thirty minutes between one bag appearing and the other. It's a great life. You get great perks. Take this shirt for instance. I did.
"I'm failing you Wilson! These china plates are still intact! Haven't you been listening to anything we've been teaching you?
User Reviews
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:15:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WINNER! http://www.ubersite.com/m/84913
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-28 05:14:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Lying sack of shit stealing material bastard.
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-01 17:30:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, so i feel that i no longer need 'Staccers'; to promote my good, but overlooked posts to the 'Most recently reviewed' board.
Browse through the rest of my other stuff, except for '5 Reasons why Britian is great' because it is drivel.
Submitted by Asylem (user info) at 2004-11-01 17:22:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lol "take this shirt for instace. I did" Brilliant.
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-01 17:18:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry, me no speeky eenglish
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-11-01 17:06:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that is amusing iago.
i prefer this persona to the staccers one.
** come off it staccers, i may be a 'balding blue collar undereducated...etc...' but I am not stoopid. Iago appears and within moments the Staccers alias reappears? Jebus.
Anyway, Brit truce? **
Submitted by Staccers (user info) at 2004-11-01 16:31:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny, funny stuff. USE pictures.
Submitted by ShatteredDreams (user info) at 2004-10-31 16:54:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If this is a testament to the crappyness of today's baggage handlers, I agree. But it still isn't a very good post.