the meaning of life (819 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.48 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Zandy1123 (View user info) at 2004-11-01 14:08:03 EST
I've always been a very outgoing person. I love to meet people, talk to them, find out where they're from, what they do, who they know, why they're here, what motivates them, what inspires them etc.
When I'm on the train going to or from work, I don't hesitate to strike up a conversation with the stranger sitting next to me. And more often than not, that stranger is more than happy to talk about...well, whatever they want to talk about. Sometimes, we don't even exchange names, but it doesn't matter. After a while, that person is no longer a stranger to me, nor I to them.
A few weeks ago, I sat on the train in the morning and perused the crowded car. I noticed the "regulars;" the people who take the same train everyday and sit in the same car - even the same seats. I noticed the girl who sits in the back corner of the car with her knees up on the seat in front of her, sleeping with her black hoodie pulled over her head. I saw the same grey-haired old man with the tattered, brown briefcase who calls his wife on his cell phone every morning as the train passes Bridgeport. I also noticed, for the first time, a very tall, thin black man standing by the doors of the car. The train was crowded and he couldn't find a seat. He wore a tired, sullen look and I couldn't help but feel for him. Eventually, he found a seat and rested.
That same evening, I worked late and got to the train station around 7:30 - about 15 minutes before my train was scheduled to arrive. The platform was deserted, save one person: the tall, thin black man I had seen on the train that morning. I bought my ticket at the automated ticket-vending machine and stood next to the bench on which the man was sitting.
"I hate working late on Fridays," I said casually.
"I know what you mean - I'm on my way to work right now..." the man responded, chuckling.
And so the ice was broken and we talked. His name was Chidi - he was from Nigeria. He had just moved to the U.S. a month before to be with his mother and brothers who had moved to New Rochelle 6 years prior. His english was impeccable and bore a slight British accent.
Our train arrived and we sat next to eachother and continued to talk about everything from college to music to work to life in the U.S. to life in Nigeria. I learned more about Nigeria in 45 minutes than I had ever known in my entire life. Chidi told me about his college years and the influence that Tupac and Biggie had on him and his friends.
"Nigerians listen to Tupac?!?" I thought to myself...I was astounded.
Finally, my station stop arrived, I shook hands with my new friend and I went home.
---
This morning, for the first time in almost a month, I saw Chidi again on the train. When he saw me, his eyes lit up. He remembered my face and my name...and I remembered his. We spoke briefly because we only ran into eachother near the end of the train ride. But it was just enough time to exchange the normal pleasantries, "What's new? How's the job? Did you find a place to live? How is your mom? Your brothers?"
It's amazing how sometimes, even the most benign, run-of-the-mill conversations can make you smile and serve as a bright spot in an otherwise bland day; especially when those conversations are with a complete "stranger."
---
My girlfriend has repeatedly expressed to me how amazed she is that I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone. She seems to think of it as a "gift," but I think she's wrong. I look at it as simply letting go of your fears and insecurities and understanding that we're all human. Once you acknowledge and embrace that commonality, the rest is easy.
I encourage you all to try this. Start a conversation. Make a friend. Take a leap. You might be surprised by who you meet. You may find that the person you're talking to likes the same music, or has a friend that went to the same college as you, or grew up in the town nextdoor to your hometown. You may find out that the person is a complete nutjob and you may have to run...run fast! You may find out that the person is as beautiful inside as they are outside...and you might get their number! Or, you may find out that the person you're talking to is your old friend's cousin, which may then prompt you to get in touch with that old friend just in time to pay them your last respects before they pass away from terminal cancer.
Remember this: there's no such thing as a coincidence. "Coincidences" are merely road signs...and it's up to you whether or not you want to pay attention to what they're telling you.
User Reviews
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-10 16:44:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Thanks for givin the ol heart strings a tug. Tiger.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-10 16:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, it's a nice story and all but after more than 4 decades on this planet, I've come to the conclusion that I am wayyyy too self absorbed and selfish to give a shit about anyone that I do not already know, at this point in my life.
Suffice to say, I do not wish to meet anyone else. My dance card is full.
So when we meet, and you extend a hand and a cheerful greeting and/or salutation to me...and I look right through you like you're not even there and ignore you...don't take it personally.
It's just a lifestyle choice. Nothing personal.
This gives me an idea for a post.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-11-10 16:18:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:16:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a winner!
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-01 21:51:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-01 15:11:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
when i moved here from home, where i had a million friends from hs, and a millioin fri ends from college, to here, where i have 4 fr iends, and i don't even like them very much. how does one go into a bar and be like, 'hey, wanna be friends?'
its tough...
but worth trying.
----
You're right - it IS tough. But keep at it!! I was in the same situation when I moved to Norwalk a few years ago - I didn't know a single person down here. And I quickly learned that bars aren't great for meeting people and making friends. My suggestion is this: find a hangout (bar, coffeehouse, restaurant, etc.) that you like and make yourself a regular. After a while, you'll start to recognize folks - and they'll recognize you...and that makes the whole process a lot easier.
----
Avals: Nope, not gay. I'm one of a rare breed: "sensitive heterosexual males."
----
Reese: You're absolutely right - I totally rock :) If you spot me on the Metronorth New Haven line, don't hesitate to say "hi." That is, of course, if I don't strike up a conversation first!
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2004-11-01 18:11:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Random Reese at 2004-11-01 18:01:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinging that you Rock! Haven't heard anyone speak this way in a very long time.
If I see you on the train I'll be sure to say Hey!
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2004-11-01 17:46:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm the same way, great post.
And I don't think he's gay...pay attention to the referance to his girlfriend.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-11-01 16:17:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff. I was expecting the entire content of the post to be: "42."
You seem awfully sensitive for a guy. Are you perchance gay?
Submitted by Fetish's gay lover at 2004-11-01 16:17:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
For me and fetish its 10 penny nails and ballscks
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-11-01 16:06:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Stuff.
I am painfully shy, but trying to get through it.
See you Friday.
-Davros
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-11-01 15:11:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahhhh! stranger! don't talk to me! ahhhhhhhh!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-01 15:11:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice story. africans do listen to biggie and tupac...i learned in the talib kweli song gun music:
"we got tribes in africa who listen to pac / fighting with brothers who pump biggie like they live on the block"
anyways...
---------**************
i also find it easy to strike up a conversation and talk with people. however, this is like a fight-club-esque single serving friendship. i just moved to a new city, and i go out and talk to 50 different people every night. but how do you turn the ability to converse easily into making friends?
when i moved here from home, where i had a million friends from hs, and a millioin fri ends from college, to here, where i have 4 fr iends, and i don't even like them very much. how does one go into a bar and be like, 'hey, wanna be friends?'
its tough...
but worth trying.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-11-01 15:05:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The meaning of life is there is none.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-01 15:04:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah...I think I'll be leaving my girlfriend home for the evening. That is, of course, unless she expresses an unrelenting desire to go...but I think that's a longshot :)
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-11-01 15:04:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If the world was full of people like you, we wouldn't have to worry so much all the time. I applaud you.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-01 15:00:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I may be speaking for myself here,
but I believe boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses
stay home.
Anyone?? Anyone??
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:53:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post.
I see signs. Everywhere.
Mostly they're written in pidgeon English, though,
and that's the one language I don't understand.
I am still threatening to try to get to NYC. Must
convince my wife that you people are real and not
alien pidgeon robots. Very difficult but will try.
Are other people bringing boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses?
I know this isn't the right place to ask but I specialize
in being wrong most of the time, and I'm very good at it.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:53:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Z- I can't wait to do shots with you!!
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:36:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jared - nail. on. the. head.
That's a great movie for that piece of dialogue alone.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:33:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1.21 - I hear ya, man. I've run into the exact same scenario countless times with my girlfriend. Some of her friends/acquaintances are some of my best friends now...it's wild.
GLALL - you da man!
Tiger - don't sweat it...we're gonna have a blast. Literally...I'm showing up with a powder keg in my pocket ;)
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:32:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"People break down into two groups when they experience something lucky. Group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance... See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?"
- M. Night Shyamalan's "Signs"
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:30:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well said.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:25:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"My girlfriend has repeatedly expressed to me how amazed she is that I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone. She seems to think of it as a "gift," but I think she's wrong. I look at it as simply letting go of your fears and insecurities and understanding that we're all human. Once you acknowledge and embrace that commonality, the rest is easy."
Andy, you and I are going to get along just fine - my ex used to hate that I had this same quality. She would take me to a party with people only she was acquianted with, yet by the end of the night I was best friends with everybody. I'm sincerely looking forward to meeting you this weekend, I bet this group of people will have great chemistry.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:21:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
bitch moan sigh "oh why are we here god? what is my purpose?"
try focusing on something important that we can answer with facts numbnuts
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:20:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I look at it as simply letting go of your fears and insecurities and understanding that we're all human. Once you acknowledge and embrace that commonality, the rest is easy."
Zandy, this post was exactly what I needed at this time.
I am very nervous about meeting you along with everyone
else on Friday. Reading this put me at ease over this
coming weekend and finally putting faces to all of you,
myself included.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:17:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:15:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I found out the meaning of life yesterday FOR REAL.
Cheesecake. Oh and the fact that life is a cycle of balances that we must strain to achieve so we ourselves find a balance within ourselves. Pretty clever huh? Who knew that this would all come to me after drinking 5 gallons of bleach?
+2's for life!
Submitted by Mitchell (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
there's no meaning to life. All those happy moments with the people from the train will be completely forgotten. in the end, our entire history will be forgotten. Of course, im comparing us to the rest of the universe.
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:14:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-01 14:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
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