Late Again... (1276 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.5 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by xtremecowboy (View user info) at 2004-11-01 18:45:36 EST
So you know how when you wake up and you know your late? You wake up and you just know? Your like "Wha.. I'm late, I'm late. And you look at your clock to tell you your wrong? But no, your late. Did you ever notice that when you have to be at work at 8:00 and you usuallly wake up at 7:00 you wake up at 7:58? YOu have no time to do anything except sit there and think, "I can't do anything! I don't even have enough time to make an english muffin!" Then you skip your shower, have to wear your big poofy sweater to hold in the stink. "Hey, this is my christmas sweater in July."
-Dane Cook
Flashback to 1995:
I had been in that exact situation for the past 4 days. "Mike, if your late again, I'm going to have to fire you." These were my boss's, Jim, words. "Alright, I'll be on time tomorrow, sir, I promise."
Fast Forward to next day:
BEEP BEEP BEEP! Fucking alarm! BANG! Alarm shatters into 10 thousand pieces.
6 hours later...
Huh?? Holy fuck its 1 o'clock (I'm supposed to be at work at 8). There is no good excuse for being five hours late. You can't be like "Oh, traffic was bad." Or "Oh, my wife was yelling at me again." No no, you have to say something like, "Jim, you didn't hear? The zoo animals got loose and took hostages. I was one of the hostages!" Or "Yea I jumped in front of a bullet for this guy, and got shot in the head, and I had to have reconstructive surgery on my head. You can't see the scars because they did such a good job."
Well as I was getting yelled at by Jim, I was thinking, "Fuck it, I'm going to get a terrible reference for my next job." So what did I do?
Fast Forward to my job interview 3 months later:
"So it says here you were fired from your last job." "Yes, the manager was a real wacko." "Why don't I call him to see what's he says." Phone call: "Hello." "Uh hi, I'm interviewing a former employee of yours, Mike -----. What do you think of him?" "Well, if you want an employee who will kick you in the nuts, then punch you in the throat, and then take a dump on your chest, well he's the man for you." *Hangs up* "Your right, he's is a nut, you've got the job!"
Don't get mad, get even!!
User Reviews
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:20:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
+0 for this story
-1 for being XtReMe!
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:00:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Niyce.