Women are mere subordinates. (957 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.02 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sepsis (View user info) at 2004-11-01 19:01:08 EST
Shifting my position on the couch so I could scratch my ass, I felt a slight tingle in my throat.
"Slut, fetch me a beer."
My girlfriend gave me a frown. She proceeded to lecture me on my "disrespect."
"I told you not to address me as slut. I want to see some respect from you, or I'm leaving for good!"
I kept scratching my bottom. I could feel her glare burning into me, but I kept my eyes focused on the TV.
"Aren't you going to apologize?"
That was it. I stopped scratching. I turned off the TV.
I looked over to her, slowly, and made eye contact.
"Slut, I told you to get me a beer."
Her jaw dropped and her eyes burned with anger.
"I will NOT be addressed as slut!"
I yawned a bit. She kept glaring. She did not, however, get my fucking beer.
"Bitch, you will not flout my orders with impunity."
With that, I stood up and grabbed a slippery, wet salmon.
I fish slapped the dumb whore nine times. I sat back down and turned on the TV.
"Slut, fetch me a beer."
User Reviews
Submitted by Mitchell (user info) at 2004-11-08 17:44:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahah, you're such an asshole.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-02 13:01:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well, I made my first post today, so can return fire if you so wish...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/50371
(sorry - I am a n00b!)
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-02 13:01:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well, I made my first post today, so can return fire if you so wish...
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-11-01 23:55:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Would have been better if it was a trout though
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-11-01 23:45:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny you should say that, bdakotac.
After the slippery salmon-slapping, my girlfriend realized her wrongdoings, and fucked me on the spot.
But I was like, "Bitch, I want my fucking beer!"
She was so into it, she couldn't hear me or something. So I choked her with the salmon and spit in her eyes.
"BITCH! BEER! GET MY BEER!"
Needless to say, she obliged.
Man.. I love cake.
Submitted by bdakotac (user info) at 2004-11-01 23:24:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I bet you NEVER get laid.
Submitted by 10c7c (user info) at 2004-11-01 23:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2004-11-01 21:16:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The best thing Sepsis has managed to peck into the computer and JohnnyX is hilarious.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-11-01 21:04:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I -2 your posts because I think it's funny when you get angry, Lechuga.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2004-11-01 21:01:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Apparently you do, because you -2 my posts which are clearly better than yours, And hadn't recieved any negative rating whatsoever. . . What's your mentality, asshole?
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-11-01 20:57:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lechuga: I win, yet again. Why does a -2 get you so mad? Who cares?
Submitted by FreshPrince (user info) at 2004-11-01 20:53:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Boo
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-11-01 20:39:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
boring
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-11-01 20:37:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this, sepsis, this is why you get no vagina.
-2DIE
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2004-11-01 20:28:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-11-01 20:10:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
I read the first sentence.
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Judging from YOUR first sentence, I'd say you were an autistic retard who eats with his feet. Judge an ENTIRE post, not just the first sentence. And yes, I read this, and YES it was faggishly boring.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:53:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Enjoyable.
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:46:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
haha, salmon-slap
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:43:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
this amused me ever so slightly
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:40:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
JonnyX: You have potential. Try adding more violence.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:37:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not a viable Vermin substitute.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"Slut, write me a story!"
Sepsis gazed listlessly at me for a moment, and returned to the keyboard, apathetically tapping at keys whilst ALT-TABing between www.gheymenz.com and his worthless attempt at a story.
"Slut, write me a story!" I insisted.
Sepsis giggled, then reached for a thesaurus to look up how many synonyms there are for 'flatulence', and then continued to peck on the keyboard in an angsty, small-peenered fashion.
Quite frankly, I had had enough. I reached for a nearby copy of a demonic tome I keep for just this purpose, and quickly summoned the efreet Hazi al-Rimjobhzi, a notorious buggerer of men's souls and bodies.
"Take this fool away, and make him your own personal barnyard animal!" I thundered at the efreet, who all too quickly cast me a evil grin, and grabbed poor Sepsis by the hindquarters, pulling him onto his goat-like appendage. As the efreet began to shimmer and fade away into whatever Allah-forsaken domain it came from, dragged the impaled Sepsis mewling along with it, I caught the faintest whiff of the other-worldly creature...it smelled like salmon.
Submitted by ToxicNarcotic (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:22:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:16:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Before fish/face contact is made, don't forget to say:
"it's just a red herring, bitch."
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:15:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
caca
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
while beating women isn't funny, fish-slapping is always comedy gold
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:13:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I find a dick slap is more appropriate. Pull it out, wind up, and swing for her head. A 5 inch wide mushroom welt on the forehead does wonders for their listening abilities.
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2004-11-01 19:09:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
kinda funny, as far as the "dick/fart" genre will allow