stabbing (623 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.2 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by action_man (View user info) at 2004-11-01 21:53:57 EST
So I was walking down the street and I saw this guy. He said "How are you sir?" So I stabbed him.
The end
User Reviews
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-02 09:21:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We need more like this.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-11-02 03:52:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wooo! Stabbing!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-11-02 03:41:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
stabkill's gonna love this...
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-02 03:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well...it did make me smile.
Submitted by thricepalermo (user info) at 2004-11-02 02:03:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I take it all back. I posted my off the cuff rambling extension of your basic concept on the front page and got nothing but -2's. Deservedly.
Who am I to say what is good. I am an arrogant asshole
Yoru post was concise and to the point ...calling up images of violent personal interaction without all of those unecessary words to get in the way.
I say rock on.
Submitted by 10c7c (user info) at 2004-11-01 22:58:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-11-01 22:49:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
with your cock?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-11-01 22:38:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was fantastic
Submitted by thricepalermo (user info) at 2004-11-01 22:30:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You need more detail in your fiction. I mean, I like a short story but you have stripped all of the fun out of it.
Try something like..." So my shoes were really killing me. I was canvasing for Kerry votes among the tourists on Sunset when I saw them. They looked like Idaho, or maybe Utah. Kackis and loose tees on the women, cargo shorts and tanks on the men. One of the women was kinda cute in a Sissy Spacek sort of way and she was holding a plastic bag from that place on Melrose that sells macabre crap. I think it is called Necromance. Nancy, or NecroNancy as she is known to her friends, is a really strange tatood woman who sorta smells like a small preserved animal because of all the woerd taxidermy stuff she handles. Anyway, this girl with the bag from Necromance, she couldnt have been more than 95 lbs and this big galoot who is walking behind her, I think maybe its her brother, sort of trips her and pushes her at the same time so she falls down on top of her bag. I can see that he didnt reallymean to cause all of this but he did it so I suppose he will have to pay in some way. Im watching all of this from where I have stopped to take the wrinkles out of the cheap socks that my granny game me for christmass. They keep sagging down into my shoes and ballin up under my heel which really bugs me. When I get everything situated in my sockage area I walk up to the group of tourists and I can see that the girl is really upset about what happened to her bag when she fell on it and she is sort of crying around the edges if you know what I mean. The galoot is sort of redfaced about the whole deal and I can see that he is sorry about what he did but I keep coming anyway. I walk right up to the girl and look into the bag and I see a small dried alligators head that she had bought from nancy now has the lower jaw broken away. People usually buy these things as a sort of wierd place to keep business cards on a desk or maybe as a gift for a 10 year old boy from Utah where they dont have big ass lizards to kill and dismember, whatever the case the spacek looking girl is upset and my feet hurt and I am feeling like an avenger today. Now I am not a big guy but I am mean. Ive been poor and ugly my whole life and early on I learned that I really have an advantage in a fight because I got nothing to loose. You take your average redneck asshole and look close and you find a guy with a job and a mortgage and a girlfriend. He probably showers every day like some millionaire and probably cares what people we when they look at him. I dont have any of those sort of handicaps and that gives me an edge. So I take the jaw bone from the bag, the girl doesnt say anything and considering what she saw when she looked at me I dont blame her, and I walke over to the redfaced galoot and I say "what do you say?" and he just looks at me and then at all of the other paople who are sort of clumped around and he doesnt say shit. SO I say again but lounder this time "WHAT DO YOU SAY?". I can still see the guys jaw working as he is trying to figure out what this freaky dude with the stringy hair and the shiny suitthat doesnt fit right wants him to say. His eyes sort of roll like a scared cow and he says in a shakey voice "what do you want me to say" and I say "YOU SAY HOW ARE YOU SIR" and so he does...he says "How are you sir" and I stab him in the neck with the jaw. I say "my fucking feet hurt" and drop the jaw. As usual no one moves so I step into the smokeshop and out into the back alley. I guess I go down and work Melrose for the rest of the afternoon and maybe stop in and say hey to Necro Nancy."
So, pay attention to the things that happen to you in life and try to put some of that in your writing and you might have better luck. Take care.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-11-01 22:30:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAVE MY ASS BABIES
Submitted by Commie_bastard (user info) at 2004-11-01 22:29:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thricepalermo (user info) at 2004-11-01 22:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You need more detail in your fiction. I mean, I like a short story but you have stripped all of the fun out of it.
Try something like..." So my shoes were really killing me. I was canvasing for Kerry votes among the tourists on Sunset when I saw them. They looked like Idaho, or maybe Utah. Kackis and loose tees on the women, cargo shorts and tanks on the men. One of the women was kinda cute in a Sissy Spacek sort of way and she was holding a plastic bag from that place on Melrose that sells macabre crap. I think it is called Necromance. Nancy, or NecroNancy as she is known to her friends, is a really strange tatood woman who sorta smells like a small preserved animal because of all the woerd taxidermy stuff she handles. Anyway, this girl with the bag from Necromance, she couldnt have been more than 95 lbs and this big galoot who is walking behind her, I think maybe its her brother, sort of trips her and pushes her at the same time so she falls down on top of her bag. I can see that he didnt reallymean to cause all of this but he did it so I suppose he will have to pay in some way. Im watching all of this from where I have stopped to take the wrinkles out of the cheap socks that my granny game me for christmass. They keep sagging down into my shoes and ballin up under my heel which really bugs me. When I get everything situated in my sockage area I walk up to the group of tourists and I can see that the girl is really upset about what happened to her bag when she fell on it and she is sort of crying around the edges if you know what I mean. The galoot is sort of redfaced about the whole deal and I can see that he is sorry about what he did but I keep coming anyway. I walk right up to the girl and look into the bag and I see a small dried alligators head that she had bought from nancy now has the lower jaw broken away. People usually buy these things as a sort of wierd place to keep business cards on a desk or maybe as a gift for a 10 year old boy from Utah where they dont have big ass lizards to kill and dismember, whatever the case the spacek looking girl is upset and my feet hurt and I am feeling like an avenger today. Now I am not a big guy but I am mean. Ive been poor and ugly my whole life and early on I learned that I really have an advantage in a fight because I got nothing to loose. You take your average redneck asshole and look close and you find a guy with a job and a mortgage and a girlfriend. He probably showers every day like some millionaire and probably cares what people we when they look at him. I dont have any of those sort of handicaps and that gives me an edge. So I take the jaw bone from the bag, the girl doesnt say anything and considering what she saw when she looked at me I dont blame her, and I walke over to the redfaced galoot and I say "what do you say?" and he just looks at me and then at all of the other paople who are sort of clumped around and he doesnt say shit. SO I say again but lounder this time "WHAT DO YOU SAY?". I can still see the guys jaw working as he is trying to figure out what this freaky dude with the stringy hair and the shiny suitthat doesnt fit right wants him to say. His eyes sort of roll like a scared cow and he says in a shakey voice "what do you want me to say" and I say "YOU SAY HOW ARE YOU SIR"
Submitted by Simondk (user info) at 2004-11-01 22:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-01 22:10:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How could I resist.
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-11-01 22:03:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
educational
Submitted by bart <bart.at.cilfone.com> at 2004-11-01 21:58:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going to hunt you down and do you in the pooper.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-11-01 21:58:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
JIBBA JABBA
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-01 21:57:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Your name almost had me thinking that this might be cool, but no, it's crap.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-11-01 21:57:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I like the cut of your jib