Back to Limericks and Vagina Bushes.....or am I? YAY NAKED WOMENZ!! (427 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 0.38 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (View user info) at 2004-11-02 15:06:15 EST
Today is the day that we vote,
But don't you go rocking the boat;
Four years is enough,
It's time to get tough,
Let's shave this Bush off of our pubes.
It has happened. In the 11th hour, I was swayed. By what, you may ask? Or by whom? Andrew Tanenbaum, creator of www.electoral-vote.com. I never heard of the site before a few days ago, despite its ranking in the top thousand in the world. But I did find his name and quirky writing style to be familiar...
Lo and behold, he wrote one of the textbooks I used in college! Ah, computer science, the major for those undecided that heard there's money to be made.
In all seriousness, what truly swayed me was his analogy of Bush to the world as the playground bully to the other kids in the playground. Only with the bully's back turned do the other kids say what an asshole he is (otherwise they'd eat a knuckle sandwich--or a nuke-ya-ler missile).
"We're saving Iraq! We're promoting freedom!"
No, we're imposing our will. And believe it or not, the rest of the world does NOT appreciate us barging in.
"Fuck the world! We're big and powerful!"
Yea, and what happens when North Korea suckerpunches us and turns California into a nuclear-waste island? Or, as Tanenbaum recalls, what did they do when the bully fell while running after a kid and skidded a few feet, leaving him bloody and crying? They turned their fucking backs on him, because he was an asshole that never earned their trust.
"We have a history of bailing out England and France! They owe us!"
That's right, we have a history. As in, the past. As in, the American politicians from generations ago. This isn't like your credit history. If the French (fuck the French I usually say, but even so...) don't feel like participating in a bogus war, it's their prerogative, no matter what kind of debts they incurred 60 years ago.
"What about domestic issues?"
Yeah, those. I don't know, I was kind of worrying about there being a domestic place for me to begin with, personally. I'm not saying I gave much credence to that recent bin Laden video. But to me, it just seems like nothing keeps the "infidels" angry like red-white-and-blue missiles plowing through their houses. Seriously, if you're going after the terrorists, go after the terrorists. If you're looking for oil, just say you're looking for oil. If you're really trying to help out millions of people under hardship, how about feeding some poor Africans?
Look, Bush should just go out and say that the United States has not fulfilled its Manifest Destiny, instilled in our great nation by God almighty, who reached down and extened his forefinger, making contact with and glorifying our great land.
John Kerry's as douchey as they come, but I still voted for him.
Kerry's a lincoln-looking guy,
With a chin as long as the sky;
But he's smart and
fuck it, he kind of sucks but I don't feel like wasting my vote for suckier Nader or any of the other candidates that are there for shits and giggles. Right-o.
User Reviews
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-11-02 16:00:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A-motherfuckin-men.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-02 15:44:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew you had it in you!
Submitted by abefroman42 (user info) at 2004-11-02 15:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ass. lick. parachute. fucktaaaaaard.
Submitted by thricepalermo (user info) at 2004-11-02 15:32:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that you about sum it up for me also.
Sometimes change in itself is reason enough.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-11-02 15:24:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Although I won't agree with you politically, you get a positive because this proves you have writing talent. Good talent.
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-11-02 15:18:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-11-02 15:15:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow finally something worth reading that you wrote. Dont be mad at schlongy, the smartest thing to ever come out of his mouth was my dick.
-----------------------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA!!!!!
And zakalwe, I admit, it pained me to +2 you for your awesome collage. :::sigh::: mayhaps we can go back to hating each other tomorrow? I'm pretty sure I still have some more stinky posting in me.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-11-02 15:15:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow finally something worth reading that you wrote. Dont be mad at schlongy, the smartest thing to ever come out of his mouth was my dick.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-02 15:13:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 all things politics.
www.johnkerryisadouchebagbutimvotingforhimanyway.com
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-02 15:09:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I.....agree with you, Jabba. Though it pains me to admit it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-02 15:07:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You are truly one stupid, and persistent, motherfucker.
That tenth grade education just isn't paying off for you, Sparky.