Man Tries to Convert Lions to Jesus, Gets Bitten (2243 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.85 on 57 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by youarsoghey (View user info) at 2004-11-03 16:37:53 EST
You thought I was kidding? This is probably one of the funniest things I've read in a long time:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6396422/
This genius jumped the fence in a Taiwan zoo and began shouting "Jesus will save you!" to a pair of lions.
That's right. A pair of fucking lions.
Apparently the one lion is an atheist or Muslim or whatever, because he gored the shit out of this guy's leg before the zoo workers were able to push the thing back with water hoses and tranquilizer guns.
You've got to hand it to those Christians, though. They sure are ballsy.
User Reviews
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-11-04 12:43:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha ha ha
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-11-04 07:53:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
God damn it, Bart. Why, if I only lived in Chicago, I'd shout at you like a crazed woman and throw cats at you.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-11-04 07:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh.
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-11-04 07:45:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The sort of people who'll vote for Bush.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-04 03:56:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-11-04 02:33:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Consider it stolen for Bored at Work
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-04 02:29:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2004-11-03 19:31:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
munkeypants:
If the guy had died, then he'd be a prime candidate for the Darwin Award.
As it is now, he's just a deluded guy who, as it has been stated, probably got a crap translation.
Stay orange.
--JW
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This is unrelated, but I always enjoy reading JW's reviews.
Anyways, a person is eligible for a Darwin Award as long as he has improved the gene pool by removing himself from it. He doesnt have to die. He just has to lose his ability to reproduce. It's only coincidence that most people die.
If this guy got his nuts chomped off, he would be a great candidate for a Darwin Award. Alas, he only, apparently, got mauled the shit out of his leg.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-04 01:54:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Phallic_Cymbals, that is the first thing I thought when I saw that picture. That other lion looks like it is thinking "I'm just chillin' out....checkin' out what is going on out here...while my pal here rips you a new asshole, of course."
Prof. Fuckface. I HATE links to "must register sites"!!! Anyway, I get the idea that this happened before? That is crazy.
This is nothing like the one chick that tossed herself to hungry crocs a couple years ago.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-11-04 01:35:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:48:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I nominate him for the Darwinian Award.
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I nominate him for anything that doesn't involve breeding.
I saw this earlier and still can't believe it didn't occur in America.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-11-03 23:47:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
EASTSIDE repppp
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-03 23:42:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2004/09/15/1094927618104.html?from=storyrhs&oneclick=true
wow, this shit must happen every so often, the bible, the lions, and so on and so forth
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-11-03 23:34:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the look on the face of the second lion.
She's just saying "what were you thinkin'?" with this sly little grin as her man takes to whoopin'.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-11-03 23:24:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thye real question is; Why the fuck would a lion want to be saved by Jeebus anyway?
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-11-03 23:02:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"If this was a cartoon, it would have gary larson's name signed on it with a funny caption like 'Oh Harold, why do you always have to start stuff with the Christians?'"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by BraelusSaint (user info) at 2004-11-03 23:00:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
well the guy didnt get eaten so jesus does save, see, he was right, now im gun go do the same thing to a bunch of sharks, think they'll understand me under water, jgegege surbs!
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-03 22:45:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-03 18:21:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is really old. He thought God would protect him.
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OLD? This shit just happened.
If this was a cartoon, it would have gary larson's name signed on it with a funny caption like "Oh Harold, why do you always have to start stuff with the Christians?"
Only my caption wasn't funny....
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-11-03 21:45:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That lion looks just like me when Jehovas Witness comes to my door.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-11-03 20:14:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So THAT'S why he was eating him? Haha, we were watching the election results in US History, and while we were talking about it, someone just yelled "Shut up, dude's getting eaten by lions!". Great times.
Submitted by X-File (user info) at 2004-11-03 20:07:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ah, another Christian standing before the lions, just like the good old days in the Roman Empire.
Submitted by D.O.A (user info) at 2004-11-03 20:04:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-11-03 19:58:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
typical taiwanese
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2004-11-03 19:31:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
munkeypants:
If the guy had died, then he'd be a prime candidate for the Darwin Award.
As it is now, he's just a deluded guy who, as it has been stated, probably got a crap translation.
Stay orange.
--JW
Submitted by brokenlizard534 (user info) at 2004-11-03 19:20:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-11-03 19:18:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:39:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
PRAISE THE MUTHAFUCKIN LORDY LORD
__________________________
Plus 2 for this post and this review.
Submitted by Schaden (user info) at 2004-11-03 19:05:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Atheist 1, Jesus 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-11-03 18:58:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaahah
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2004-11-03 18:45:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHHAAHA!
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-11-03 18:21:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
man that lion's got a great face.. he actually looks scared of the acolyte
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-03 18:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is really old. He thought God would protect him.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-11-03 18:08:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:35:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
It just occurred to me that maybe the guy got a bad translation of the bible, so that instead of Daniel being THROWN to the lions, he converted them
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Heh.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-11-03 18:07:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I highly doubt he was a Christian, more like an escapee of a local asylum. Regardless, funny stuff.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-11-03 18:05:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, that guy sure had balls.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:54:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, every time I think people can't get any dumber, some brave soul comes along and redefines the bottom of the IQ scale.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:51:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the lions gored the guy's leg huh?
-2
just kidding...too funny to get anything but a +2
Submitted by Halo_Of_Retards (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:46:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't stop laughing at this picture hahahaha
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:41:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BHAHAHAHBHAHBAHBHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:35:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It just occurred to me that maybe the guy got a bad translation of the bible, so that instead of Daniel being THROWN to the lions, he converted them.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:08:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If the guy is dumb enough to do it, let him die. If he thinks God will save him, let him wait for God.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:02:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:44:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. I was just joking when I told him to do that.
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hahahaha
Submitted by great_angst (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:59:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There is more Jesus-freak lunacy to come.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:58:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Amazing.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:56:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:53:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I read about this at www.poe-news.com.
I bet that I COULD convert those fuckin' lions...
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:50:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Come bite me!!"
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:49:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Soooo, you don't care about the souls of lions, do you? Demonlover.
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:48:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I nominate him for the Darwinian Award.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:46:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Look, first of all the media is blowing this all out of proportion. Secondly, what would you have had me do? Just let them die and go to hell? You would have done the same thing, if you cared about them at all.
Submitted by SwissCamel (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:44:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. I was just joking when I told him to do that.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:44:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is crazy, the CBC just did a segment on this retard.
Perhaps if they'd given him a few more minutes he woulda succeded in casting out those lion's devils.
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:44:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good god.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:43:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dumbass.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:42:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, the zoo workers should have just let the lions have at him.
Thinning the herd indeed...
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-03 16:42:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That is a little daft, isn't it!
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:39:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
PRAISE THE MUTHAFUCKIN LORDY LORD