Canadian joke for Caulaincourt (and others) (975 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.17 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JonnyX (View user info) at 2004-11-03 16:42:41 EST
A Newfie, a Quebecois, and an Albertan were walking along the beach one day, when all of a sudden, they spy a genie's lamp partially buried in the sand. They rush to it and pick it up, carefully brushing the sand off the burnished metal.
All of a sudden, a pale bluish mist begins to erupt from the mouth of the lamp, coalescing into...a POWERFUL GENIE!
"I am the great and all-powerful Genie of the Lamp, and since you have freed me from my prison, I will grant you three wishes...hmm...hey wait, there's three of you, aren't there? Well, since I don't know which of you freed me, I'll tell you what. I'll give each one of you one wish each. Now, what is your wish??"
The Newfie steps forward and says "I'm a fisherman, my father was a fisherman, and my father's father was a fisherman. I want to make sure that my son will be a fisherman too, so I wish that the Grand Banks would be full of fish for all eternity!"
FOOM! The Genie grants his wish and the ocean is full of fish!
The Quebecois steps forward and says "My province's cultural identify is very important to me, and I want to protect it for all eternity. I wish that you would build a huge wall around all of Quebec so that nothing would ever get in or out!
FOOM! The Genie grants his wish and all of Quebec is completely surrounded and protected!
The Albertan steps forward and says, "Tell me more about this wall around Quebec."
The Genie replies, "It is completely impervious to any radio or television transmissions. It is made from indestructible magic stone that is 100 metres tall and 100 metres thick!!"
The Albertan says "I wish that you would fill it up with water!"
User Reviews
Submitted by Vix (user info) at 2005-06-16 18:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:17:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
My brother lived in Alberta for 3 years. He said he had to shave two times a day to avoid the hairy hippie quebecer label. Stereotypes are hilarious
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I live in Alberta, and stereotypes ARE hilarious...true/not true it doesn't matter, they are going to be pegged one way or another. AHAH
Submitted by Shaystar (user info) at 2005-05-05 19:26:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Gollman (user info) at 2005-02-11 15:11:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-12-28 17:43:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yes Jay, he did, then he had his minion Padus take a few shots at me as well - i gotta get me some alters, apparently.
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2004-12-28 17:17:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not from Canada.
Been there before, but I don't know what the fuck you are opening your mouth for.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-28 17:07:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did CCG -2 everything once?
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2004-12-20 14:34:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2004-11-11 15:44:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah. I fucked up. wrong user, wrong post. Shit, sorry, don't even try and make sense of that last review.
-2 me
I deserve it.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2004-11-11 15:42:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
reply to this [http://www.ubersite.com/m/51224#952092]
Rjd2 did a better track with copyright - 'june' check it out.
realise it's not the done thing to reply on an unrealted thread, but I'm pissed so who cares?
have a +2 to compensate
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-05 17:24:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
terrible. i don't even get it.
Submitted by Rabies (user info) at 2004-11-04 15:50:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Cute - but not hilarious. Maybe if the Genie went "Tinkle-Winkle-Dink" instead of "Foom" when granting wishes it would be funnier? - just a thought.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-11-04 08:58:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Because for a joke about Canada, all you need to say is "Canada"!
Submitted by Sofa_Ace (user info) at 2004-11-03 23:11:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I get it, people in Quebec can't swim right? is that why it's funny?
I'm just fucking around. But yea, this is pretty old. zero for the effort though, if I hadn't heard a zillion and a half times you would have gotten a positive.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-11-03 22:25:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-03 22:18:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this was pretty lame
but, who am i to judge
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-03 21:37:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Caul is a canadian joke.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:37:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Good thing you put "joke" in the title.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:25:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
...the Ontarian wants big wall around his province because he's so godamn important or rich or whatever you come up with.
...the Quebecers ask the genie to fill it up with water.
You can do this joke with anyone if you want. It's just so damn old.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:22:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you tell that joke for Ontario?
Well, I guess I better stick to writing, instead of joke-telling...BECAUSE I SUCK AT IT.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:17:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My brother lived in Alberta for 3 years. He said he had to shave two times a day to avoid the hairy hippie quebecer label. Stereotypes are hilarious.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:16:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night! They just plain
sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch
of sucks that ever sucked!
-- Homer Simpson
Team Homer
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:06:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Woooooo Alberta.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-11-03 17:02:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:44:44 (#)
Ranking: -1
thats weak. Last week.
---
That's fresh. Fresh Prince.
DERRRRRR I'M JUST FOOOOOOLIN' WITH YA!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:59:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm really fighting an urge not to -2 this since I've heard this joke more than I've seen the word Bush in my papers. We do the same exact joke for Ontario. I heard it first when I was like 8.
But you tried so I'm gonna be nice with you, even if your outdated.
Want to see a real joke? Read this: http://www.ontariousa.org/
It's funny because it's true.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:57:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:44:44 (#)
Ranking: -1
thats weak. Last week.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-03 16:47:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He's taking funny talk.
-- Homer Simpson
Like Father, Like Clown
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:45:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Albertan says give me the Montreal women and THEN fill the thing with beer.
With me in it.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-11-03 16:44:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
thats weak. Last week.