Why venting my frustration will always be an exercise in futility. (667 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.55 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Paul <Arcane884.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-05 01:07:19 EST
I'm always about to write something on this site but laziness gets the better of me. I write now only because my frustration gets the better of me. I write in hopes that some one can at least empathize with me.
I'm frustrated and infuriated with the state of things and my inability to find any answers. The whole world is a gray area that I try every day to quantify. Why do I do it? Why should I care? I feel most at peace when I get all preachy to the unfortunate people around me about the futility of everything. "Nothing exists so nothing matters and that is why I don't care." Is a common response from me to any myriad of questions and accusations thrown in my direction. But deep down something does matter at least to me. But I can put it into words and even if I could no one would care because I didn't pay the minimum (what is it now 40,000-100,000 dollars) and countless priceless hours of opportunity cost to get three fucking letters put after my last name. Even if I did that I ultimately disagree with every book I start writing.
When did changing your opinion or not having one become a crime? I am a civil libertarian a communist a collectivist or a damn dirty imperialist dictator in the context of whatever thought or conversation I might be having. My thoughts conflict, its impossible to say that anything I think I know might be true because I wouldn't end up changing my mind so often if they were. This changing of stance has resulted in me having no credibility with anyone I know.
I feel that anyone who has all the answers is crazier than I am and any one who thinks they can lead a nation to be the craziest of all. I search for truth but all I can muster in the end is more questions than when I started and any attempt to put my feelings in to words ends up sounding like regurgitated pseudo-intellectual bull shit. I can only come to the conclusion that I am a hypocrite. I get up every day and go to work, vote, pay my bills and follow the letter of the law all the while disgusted at what I am becoming. I would like to make a difference but I don't know how. In a few years I am going to run for local office with the intent of some day becoming a congressman which only proves that I may after all be crazier than the over inflated egos I laugh at on CSPAN.
I try to face my demons but their uglier than anything I've ever seen in a horror film. Its nice to pass judgment on racists only to realize the racist things you've done in the past, call people morons with the knowledge of all the mistakes you've made and try to act like your superior when your just as clueless as everyone else. I feel like I'm in a car about to go over a cliff only the breaks and steering wheel work I just have no idea how to use them cause I can't see them. I'm too busy freaking out about the cliff! Hell I would of avoided the problem entirely if I wouldn't of even bought the car but every one told me it was the right thing to do at the time and I was too ignorant too see through their lies.
I know I'm smart so why can't I find any answers? I don't care so why do I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders? Why must I hold my self to the perfect standards of an imperfect people? Let alone my own misguided standards? I feel like I'm just smart enough to point out problems but too dumb to solve them. Does any one get this? Any other self proclaimed hypocrites out their. Or am I the only one who gets on their soap box about how everything is wrong but then gives no answer to make it right all the while knowing what an idiot they are.
Rant over!
"Nothing exists so nothing matters and that is why I don't care."
"Except I do damn it"
And for all of those to lazy to read this heres the summery.
BITCH MOAN BITCH MOAN BITCH MOAN BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!
User Reviews
Submitted by kiketta (user info) at 2004-12-13 13:46:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know exactly what you mean. My solution, join the PeaceCorp and broaden my horizons. I don't expect any answers from the world, but I will always question it. If you stop questioning, you stop learning.
At least, that's what I believe now.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-04 19:35:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
but their uglier than anything they are = they're
Prolly just a typo. Just helping.
Well written post and well thought out.
This deserves more than a +2
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-11-05 17:05:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-11-05 11:49:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel you, I really do. Wanna do it?
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Hahahaha.
In regards to your post, I think everybody is a hypocrite some just can't admit it. Opinions are liable to change with new information. Anybody who thinks that their opinions are rock solid is fooling themselves. You have to be open to change to be able to grow. New experiences, people, and places will change things that you thought were once true.
I'm guessing you are mid twenties? There seems to be a sort of quarter-life crisis thing happening to a lot of people around me. Sounds like that sort of thing. Maybe I'm way off base, but it sounds similar. You get stuck in this world of work, eat, sleep, fuck. You begin to wonder what is really going on, why some people seem to have it figured out and why some are floundering.
Yeah, I'm probably way off base. But, good post anyways.
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:51:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just to clarify: I think I may have overdosed on caffiene, sorry.
Reality? Main, we don't got to show you no steenking reality...
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:26:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The relation between Knowledge and Wisdom? Apples and oranges
are related; they are both words. They are, also, both fruits.
And fruit is also a word! These are all words... Communication
through the medium of language is impossible. Truth is beyond
Does this make sense? RESISTANCE IS FUTILE Press CTRL-D NOW!!!
Principle of Conversation of Confusion:
Confusion is neither created nor destroyed,
but momely rathed outgrabe.
Rise up this morning, smile with the rising sun
Three little birds sit by my doorstep
Singing sweet songs, of melodies pure and true,
Saying 'this is my message to you'
Singing don't worry about a thing
'Cause every little thing's gonna be alright. -- Bob Marley
This is my brain on pancakes. Okay, I'm better now. Nice post.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-11-05 11:49:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel you, I really do. Wanna do it?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-05 11:16:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
me gusta.
¿me gustaras?
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-11-05 08:16:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice rant. You need booze and a kinky woman.
Submitted by Random Reese at 2004-11-05 07:55:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good grief, are you in my head do we live in the same grey cube? I thought it was just I. There are no answers and even if there are, in the end it doesn't matter.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-05 06:40:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck 'em all.
I recommend a week off work, lots of vodka and mindless daytime tv. Nothing like a week of Jerry Springer to focus the mind.
Flippant comments aside, I know how you feel.
Submitted by Amusingly_shaped_semen_stain (user info) at 2004-11-05 04:45:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally know what youre talking about.
Want my advice?
Take a few months out and go and see the world. You dont need opinions, everybodies got those. You need perspective.
Submitted by Amusingly_shaped_semen_stain <semen> at 2004-11-05 04:39:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by arcane (user info) at 2004-11-05 04:21:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
In addition how can one find solace in their own wisdom when they doubt their own expiriance? Thats the position I find my self in. The feeling that everthing you've ever leard was a lie and the knowledge that your own opinions no matter how solid could always be wrong. I guess I have a problem with clear cut answers to enduring complex problems.
Submitted by arcane (user info) at 2004-11-05 04:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Errrr thanks for reading my post. Did you happen to just read the summery? Remember the part about me voting, wanting to run for public office soon and going to work all day? Im a tad older than 15-17. Its not so much about me being emotional rather it about trying to find truth in my own logical inconsistancies, trying to find solid ground in grey areas and frustration that comes with seeing problems with no solution.
Although you have a point. Some times im just an angsty little bitch. Good times... Good times had by all.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-11-05 03:55:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
When you're young, say 15 - 17, you don't live life thinking - you feel your way through life. You know all the anwers, your parents are idiots, you are bulletproof and even though you may not be popular at school, all moral conflicts are secondary to the achievement of pleasure.
As you get older, you start to think instead of feel. Lots of people feel very little, since their "feeling years" were all messed up anyway. My point is that everyone changes, and the transition from feeling to thought can be rough, as is relapse into emotional thought when the adult situation calls for wisdom, not emotion. Think about it.
You will survive.
Submitted by arcane (user info) at 2004-11-05 02:18:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
EvrenWasHere It doesnt matter your comment means more to me than your rating.
Submitted by EvrenWasHere at 2004-11-05 02:01:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this alot for some reason. Do my ratings even count when i'm not signed in?
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-05 01:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LEELERRLEEELRR
LEEEEELRRRRR
I'm an ambulance!
Submitted by The_Masked_Ejaculator (user info) at 2004-11-05 01:10:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I was shouting right now youwouldn't be able to hear me because I travelled back through time to fill your ears with semen. You silly little fucker you.