Like Sperm? Try the Olive Garden (1327 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 1.23 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by abefroman42 (View user info) at 2004-11-05 11:51:33 EST
The other day I was invited to go to a birthday party at the Olive Garden. I kindly responded "Fuck no. No fucking way I will ever eat there"
Such a response solicited a query as to my reasoning of hating the Garlic Hut.
About 8 years ago, I was in Vegas to see Underworld at Mandalay Bay. The boys and I were cruising around with no real direction. When cruising in Vegas, you always end up at only one place. Thats right, the peep show.
Having never been to an actual peep show, we decided to check it out. This was the one where there were tons of dirty videos/dvd's in the front, an arcade of pay by the minute stalls with videos and lawn chairs, and this painted plywood assortment of doors in a reverse U shape.
We of course decided to check out the secret door, so we paid our $2 and cozied into our stalls.
First off, if you have never been in one of these, WEAR BOOTS and WATERPROOF RAIN GEAR. There is about an inch or so deep of spooge on the floor and walls. I did not have the foresight, and I wore sandals. Damn.
So I see the "dancer" doing her thing. If you want a "private" show, you drop dollars in the slot. What a nasty skank she was.
Now on to the meat of the story. After about 2 minutes of dirtyness, I left the booth. To my left is another dancer. To my right, I see 4 guys wearing olive garden cook clothes exiting the U shaped stalls.
And here is the mother fuckin kicker. They were clean Olive Garden outfits.
These bastards went to the peep show, adn jerked off while standing in others leftover jerk off before showing up to work. Damn, it still makes me ill.
User Reviews
Submitted by Lady_in_the_radiator (user info) at 2004-11-09 17:05:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Removal of +2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:45:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahahahahahaha
me and Crash let this ex con that worked at Olive Garden stay at our place after he got kicked out of his apartment for going on a coke-induced rampage. that dude would go to work so fucking coked up, he made shitloads of tips because he gave really fast service..... because he was so fucking amped all the time. ahahahahaha
then one time he left some lines on the table in his room and Mr. Kitty got curious and jumped up there and started licking it up.
oh man.... it was awesome.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:31:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:26:33 (#)
Ranking: 1
When I was 16 I worked at Olive Garden for all of 1 week. I saw some things there that left me scarred for life. That chain is a halfway house for perverts, druggies, and bitchy motherfuckin bosses.
~*~*~*~*~
I worked there for a few months during my senior year and the summer following.
I have never read a truer statement.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What I wanna know is - what do they do to the breadsticks? Something good, I'll bet!
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:37:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Lone Stranger has a good point: I had the same damn experience working for Tony Roma's.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:26:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
When I was 16 I worked at Olive Garden for all of 1 week. I saw some things there that left me scarred for life. That chain is a halfway house for perverts, druggies, and bitchy motherfuckin bosses.
Let me recount:
There was the boss that called me lazy becuase I had to leave at 11 PM instead of 1 AM each night because I was a High School student and had class at 6:58 a.m.
There were the cooks who cursed profusely, picked their noses, sneezed on the grill, and smoked weed in back of the kitchen.
There was the FOB Vietnamese guy whose only Engrish he learned from the cooks - "You want to come in my mouth? hahahahahaha"
I was a dish washer, which translated to kitchen bitch. The rest of the kitchen cleaned their messy areas by hosing all of their filth into OUR area, which we cleaned up after they all went home.
It was a sweet job!
I'll never eat there, ever again.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:18:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm glad that I ate before I read this.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:07:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I loathe all chain related restaurants.
You get a better tomato sauce eating fucking Franco American out of a can that's been sitting on a shelf in a grocery for five months than you do at Olive Garden.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:00:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll +2 this, it's leaps and bounds beyond your other stuff
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-05 11:56:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ew
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-11-05 11:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hee hee,
good try with the photoshop
Submitted by JenBee (user info) at 2004-11-05 11:55:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
-Wait...what?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-11-05 11:55:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent...
Bad photoshopping though.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-11-05 11:54:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice post before I eat, you fuck