How to pick up chicks at bus stops (14124 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.92 on 106 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by comicbookguy (View user info) at 2004-11-05 12:05:23 EST
Tired of never meeting women? Tired of going to bars and clubs but struggling to catch the attention of that young girl in the middle of a giant sausage fest? Tired of never getting laid?
If you answered no to all of those questions, then fuck you. But, if you answered yes to even one of them, take my hand and come with me on this journey.
My name is Hugh.
But you can call me Mr. Jassdick.
I'm a dating instructor and I have been picking up chicks for years, and with my five part instructional video series, you will too. The key to picking up chicks is to understand that chicks are everywhere. Where their is civilization, their is chicks. They are not just in clubs or bars, or back alleys behind dumpsters. They are in your everyday places, and that is why my set includes:
1)How to pick up chicks at bus stops
2)How to pick up chicks at grocery stores
3)How to pick up chicks in an elevator
4)How to pick up chicks at the doctor's office
5)How to pick up chicks in various other potentially socially awkward situations that cannot be catagorized in the above four videos
After you have watched these videos, you will be a lean, mean sex machine like I am. You will be picking up chicks in no time, and I don't mean lifting fat women. If you're into that, buy my other video series on how to build muscle through the lifting of fat women. I'm talking about bench pressing fat women, curling fat women, and doing push ups with fat women sitting on your back.
After you have seen these videos, you will be able to walk up to a women in any of these situations, get her number, get a date, and get laid, evenetually leading to a healthy long-term relationship. Or, conversely, a lot of casual monkey sex with you eventual dumping her because she wants commitment. You dog you! Either way, if your penis enters one of her orifices, I know I have done my job and that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside that reminds me why I got into the business in the first place.
Now, in this video, you will learn how to pick up chicks at a bus stop. The beauty of picking up chicks at bus stops is that you literally and figuratively pick them up because this instructional video will show you how to use your car to pick up chicks at bus stops.
Step 1: Fix your car stupid.
A lot of chicks don't mind taking the bus. But a lot of chicks DO mind being wheeled around in a shit box. If your little shit mobile goes 0 to 60 in four hours, then you gotta fucking problem. Can you car compare to a bus? A bus is like a massive, pimping SUV with 4000 horse power and lots of 45 inch wheels. Can your ride compete with that, bitch? I didn't think so.
If you stroll beside a bus stop in your shitty ass sputtering car, that chicks not going to want a ride! She would rather fuck the bus driver and that makes you a pretty big loser.
So here is what you do. It's very simple. Do not do anything with the engine or any of that shit because chicks don't now the difference. Give it a nice paint job, and add a white racing stripe along the side. MAKE SURE IT IS NIFTY. I cannot stress this enough. Then, add some hydraulics so your car bounces up and down and she can see you coming to the bus stop a mile away. This has no performance advantages whatsoever, but it looks cool and gives her an idea of how she will look when on top of you.
Step 2: Use weather to your advantage
No one likes waiting at the bus stop when it's raining, especially if the shelter has been blown off by torrential winds. Use this to your advantage people! Picking up chicks at bus stops gets 100 times easier when it's raining or snowing or hailing. Sometimes, it will even negate the fact that you have a shitty car or no teeth. Once you offer them a ride, they will do the following: look around desperately for the bus, check their watch, sigh, and then take you up on the offer. Hurricanes, tornados, tsunami's. These are your friends. Use them wisely.
Step 3: Pick out the right girl.
Who is the ideal bus stop girl? The most fuckable one, that's who. The easiest chick to pick up at a bus shelter is the one who has the highest "looks really hot but dresses really shitty" ratio. You know the girl I'm talking about. She's all alone at the bus stop, hugging her books tight to her chest, looking down at the pavement, could or could not be wearing artsy glasses. This girl is sad, sad that she doesn't have many friends because she is afraid of breaking out of her social shell, perhaps due to a past. Perhaps a boy broke her heart, perhaps she experienced tragedy in her family.
This girl needs some tender loving. And there is nothing more tender than a penis.
By offering her a ride, you are showing your soft, compassionate side. You are showing that you sense the slightest human suffering. You are a good, warm, and caring person. A good, warm and caring person that is desperate to have sex.
Step 4: Pick out the right bus stops
Like I said, you want to go to bus stops that have no bus shelters. That way, you can use inclement weather to your advantage. Also, you want to pick a bus stop which has a fairly long stop light. This gives you at least 40-60 seconds to operate. If you pick a bus stop that is in the middle of the street and you have to pull off to the side of the road and put your hazard lights on so you can talk to her, you've already failed because you're trying too hard. If you naturally stop at a red light, then it looks like you weren't even trying to pick her up. You were merely obeying the law and chicks dig that.
Also, avoid bus shelters near stop signs. That gives you absolutely no window of opportunity, especially if there is a car behind you and it's not a four way stop.
Step 5: The approach
You car is pimped out. It's raining cats and dogs. You have the confidence-shattered girl in your sights. It's time to make like Young MC and bust a move pimp.
Slowly roll up in your car. Turn your head casually like you're just driving through, and not there to pick up a chick at a bus stop. Make eye contact and smile. If you have bad teeth, or no teeth, then just do one of those non-teeth showing smiles and let your eyes do the talking. You may have to stare for a while because remember, this girl is depressed and enjoys staring down at concrete. Once she looks up, and makes eye contact, roll down your window. Remember, make sure you have manual windows. It shows that you are exuding a mild degree of effort. Say, "need a ride?" and smile again.
Now, the most important thing here is to look as NON THREATENING AS POSSIBLE. This girl may be depressed and probably hasn't been laid in a while, but girls don't take rides with strange, scary looking men, not even depressed girls, so make sure you clean yourself up a little. She will make her decision within the first ten seconds. Anything past ten seconds and there is either something wrong with her, or she their is something wrong with you; most likely the former because you're a stud and there is always the next bus stop.
Now, if she says yes, DO NOT leave your car, go out into the pouring rain like a pussy, and open her door for her. Open it from the inside. You do not want to reek of desperation. She will enter your car, apologize for dripping water all over your shitty interior, but you will brush it off with the wave of your hand. Remember, compassion, human suffering, niceness. Put the dick away for now.
Now that you have her in the car, speed off before she changes her mind. Ask her questions about her life, gently probing and poking at the hard shell that has formed around her social being after all these years. Don't say anything about you because no one gives a fuck. Talk about her and only her. If there are any awkward pauses, tell her about your missionary work in the Philippines or your charity work with the blind. It's okay, you can make it up. Remember: It's not a lie if you believe it. This check is sensitive, and she loves a sensitive guy. Milk that cow till its bone dry.
When you arrive at her house, tell her that it was nice meeting her, and perhaps if it's okay, you can call her sometime? Make sure you sound innocent and naïve, even though we both know you're a horny freak who can't wait to get into her pants. If you she does not yes, then recall my 100% money back guarantee.
But I assure you she will, you pimp you. And if she doesn't, send her over to my place. At least one of us will get laid.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-09-04 10:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by Mike-Mc (user info) at 2007-09-21 10:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by konohasaiyajin (user info) at 2006-11-28 03:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, success is imminent!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-12 19:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think I reviewed this, either...
Shocking, I review just about everything.,
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2006-09-12 18:49:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-02-07 17:05:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-01-11 13:54:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahha nothing more tender than a penis.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-01-11 13:46:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe
did I ever review this?
Can't be arsed to check.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2006-01-11 13:38:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-07-28 17:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by tehgareh (user info) at 2005-06-02 02:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-02-21 09:31:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
100 reviews. nice round number
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-02-11 15:58:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Mill29 (user info) at 2005-02-06 01:54:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I'll need the sparknotes version for this.
Submitted by kochier (user info) at 2005-02-02 21:46:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by aphiz (user info) at 2005-01-29 01:32:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
one of the funniest posts ever
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-11-09 14:40:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry I missed this.
Oh well, thats what the Most Heated List is for, right?
Wait, what?
It's usually for whining and Uber politics?
Im aghast!
Luckily this made it anyway.
Well done.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2004-11-09 06:53:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+10
Submitted by CodeBlue (user info) at 2004-11-09 01:41:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sick like ebola.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-08 20:51:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
excellent!
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-11-08 09:45:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sheer brilliance.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-08 07:24:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God damn you. I already used the +2 today.
Submitted by Scarlett13 (user info) at 2004-11-08 07:17:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Go on with your bad self!!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-11-08 00:04:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-07 16:00:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, did I ever get drunk lastnight...
How I miss saying that.
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2004-11-07 05:46:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-11-07 05:22:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Remember: It's not a lie if you believe it.
-------
Anyone else, and I would've overlooked the Seinfeld quote. I love you, CBG.
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-11-07 04:44:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:23:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
This girl needs some tender loving. And there is nothing more tender than a penis.
----------------
I got to that line and stopped reading a second to give you a +2.
Now I'm going to go finish reading the post.
----------------
I almost did that too, but I was enjoying the post too much to interrupt it.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-11-06 20:06:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man shitfuck rules
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes!
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-11-06 14:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God dammit CBG, the bus stop was going to be the next installment in my series!
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-06 14:36:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh JohnGalt, don't get mad at me, but I nailed your girlfriend.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-06 14:22:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Christ, lojope just described her blow job technique and I have to say it's fucking outstanding.
Keep on sucking in the free world babycakes.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-06 14:07:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Skittles you're a fucking cunt. A deep, heavily laden labia infested with syphillus breathing germs.
Eat this cock of mine and choke to death on the rushing waterfall semen blast I'm about to launch down your throat.
Don't even ask what I'm about to do to your mom. It's romantic.
Submitted by ZeroSkittles (user info) at 2004-11-06 13:56:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a nigger!
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2004-11-06 13:41:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a weird man, shitfuck.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-06 13:20:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so tired of raping my hand. Even when it wants it, which is basically like 'encouraged rape'.
I'm a slut.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-06 13:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually went through my little black book lastnight looking for a sympathy fuck. This one chick says: you got any blow? I said no but she shouldn't worry about that because I'd be more than happy to lauinch a load up her nose. My semen is probably still 98% amphetamines anyway.
She tunred me down and fucked her dog instead. And by 'dog' I mean dad.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-06 13:10:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Personally, I find 'rear entry' of 'doggiestyle' to be the best posistion when I'm entwined with a really hot but terminally dumb chick. It's just beautiful, pounding in and out, and never having to see her...like sex over the net or something. See the hole, plug the hole, seal the hole.
Plug it.
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAAA.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-11-06 11:57:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2004-11-06 08:15:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, I'm being a sheep and upping this. But what about the guide for women to pick up men, or men to pick up men, or women women? You know what I mean. Let's be all inclusive here!
----------------
that is a good idea right there.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-06 10:43:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2004-11-06 09:03:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This dis make me laugh out loud several times, so it has my blessing
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2004-11-06 08:15:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, I'm being a sheep and upping this. But what about the guide for women to pick up men, or men to pick up men, or women women? You know what I mean. Let's be all inclusive here!
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-06 07:28:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, you rock.
I want to see "Picking Chicks up at the War Memorial".
It's how it happens in my little village, ok?
Submitted by BlinkSparky (user info) at 2004-11-06 05:40:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This girl needs some tender loving. And there is nothing more tender than a penis.
best line evar
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-06 05:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd probably bang that chick.
Probably.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-06 05:17:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just caught Random Joe buying a Hustler magazine,
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-11-05 22:25:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Either way, if your penis enters one of her orifices, I know I have done my job."
What about several orifices?
Yeah, it's *that* big.
WHAT??!!!?!?!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-05 22:16:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Very fucking original.
Submitted by RateBot (user info) at 2004-11-05 22:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-11-05 16:56:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This girl needs some tender loving. And there is nothing more tender than a penis.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-11-05 16:51:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2004-11-05 16:40:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn CBG, you can't type for shit and you use their when you should use there, but I'm giving you a +2 for one reason and one reason alone. This line:
"There is nothing more tender than a penis."
AAAAAAHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
+2 and my patented bigaty-BAM bitches!!!!
Submitted by QueenSkye (user info) at 2004-11-05 15:44:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
codeblue, there is no upside to living in/near seattle...
oh, and this kicked ass
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:40:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BAH! I read it again and caught a couple of errors. Sorry.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tired of never meeting women? Tired of going to bars and clubs but struggling to catch the attention of that young girl in the middle of a giant sausage fest? Tired of never getting laid?
If you answered no to all of those questions, then fuck you.
==============================================================
ahahahahahahaha
sorry CBG. here's a little something to help you out- http://fastseduction.com/guide
you must be...... THEEEEEEEE ALPHAAAAAAA MAAAAAAAAAALE!
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:33:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Even better than picking up a carney.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would like to meet this Hugh Jassdick.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:26:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This story was so goo that I crapped my pants.
Well, it was either the story or the Ex-Lax, but I'm sticking with the story.
Submitted by Crudite (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:26:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hugeass Dick?
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I gotta get me one of those pimped out Honda Civics or somthing, maybe a Kia with some 24" rims and a spoiler on the back
Submitted by CodeBlue (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:11:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Finally an upside to living near Seattle.... I wonder how well this would work on a motorcycle?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:09:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And there is nothing more tender than a penis.
I fucking love you.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:00:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice, I'm looking forward to these...
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:52:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Finally something that addresses my love of chicks and my love of bus stops.
Submitted by rhi at 2004-11-05 13:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj :
Obviously you're a stranger to a little thing people call "sarcasm."
No, just a stranger to you, so I had no way of picking it up. Thanks for the correction. :)
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:50:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:08:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
"This girl needs some tender loving. And there is nothing more tender than a penis."
Uzi, you magnificent bastard!
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:46:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'Can you car compare to a bus?'
What are you chinese all of a sudden?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:46:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fits8? Classic. Next time you feel like berating someone for their lack of proofreading, take a look in the mirror.
CBG, fucking awesome. Am I allowed to say B@W if i don't have an account?
***
BAHAHAHA
Fucking dolt.
Obviously you're a stranger to a little thing people call "sarcasm."
And the answer is yes.
Copy the link, go to B@W, and click on the "submit something of interest to Boredatwork" link.
Submitted by rhi at 2004-11-05 13:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj:
Tempted to +1 because of the spelling errors.
*shakes fits8
Fits8? Classic. Next time you feel like berating someone for their lack of proofreading, take a look in the mirror.
CBG, fucking awesome. Am I allowed to say B@W if i don't have an account?
Submitted by Mop (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:30:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny stuff, but read through once or twice and check for mistakes before posting (swapping in "Their" for "There," for example.)
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:30:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Amazing man! Comicbookguy youre killin em. Your shit is so funny man. Good work!
Shitfuck I also liked your comments. Funny as hell guys, good shit.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:30:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:29:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:16:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
and were you kidding with this line: "Where their is civilization, their is chicks"
----
I was curious about that myself. I hope so.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:27:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I may actually use this.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:24:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's gotta be the creepiest thing I've ever read.
You came on your monitor?
Cartoon sex?
The more I think about it, the more I feel like dropping my pants.
Submitted by interchange (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:20:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd fuck the chick in the drawing.
There's no rain in the picture, so I had to add my own.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:19:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus two for me mangling the english language, I have no respect.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:18:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I'm not much of a 'looks' guy--you'd be surprised how hot you can make some ugly slag look when you've got her face pushed into a pillow.
This one time I was nailing downs syndrome Asian girl, with a little pillow magic and carefully framing her face with the sheets, she looked exactly like Naomi Campbell.
Exactly like her.
I came quick and heavily then got the gilr a ride home with her live in supervisor that was smoking crack on my couch during the whole ten minutes.
Best ten bucks I've ever spent.
Submitted by celine (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:15:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Golden.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:12:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hell, she could have no teeth, I don't give a fuck. It's easier on the manhood and eliminates any chances of cock bite.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:10:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bus stops are where you find all the classy women. The ones with at least half their teeth.
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:09:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Either way, if your penis enters one of her orifices, I know I have done my job"
GOLD!!
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:08:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:02:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tempted to +1 because of the spelling errors.
*shakes fits8
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-11-05 13:00:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment Necessary
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:52:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Godammit CBG! Why must all my skills in the women department rely solely on you and your crazy antics? Because I get off on it.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:47:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ah yes. Old School quality CBG.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:46:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did I mention that I had the idea for this...first?
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:45:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
++2@ for this:
MAKE SURE IT IS NIFTY
Submitted by Trion (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:42:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Genius, pure genius.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:39:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"This girl needs some tender loving. And there is nothing more tender than a penis. "
My penis is so snsitive it's a wonder I convince him to fuck anything sometimes. I should just wrap him up in a turtle neck sweater, chop him off and leave him in some gay ass art house jerk bar.
WHAT ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID I JUST SAY??????
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-05 12:37:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"If you she does not yes, then recall my 100% money back guarantee."
Huh?
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:35:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For good posts, you can bank on CBG.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:29:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"This has no performance advantages whatsoever, but it looks cool and gives her an idea of how she will look when on top of you. "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nice.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:26:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Crazy bastard.
Brilliant, as always.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good, Mr. Jassdick.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:24:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:23:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This girl needs some tender loving. And there is nothing more tender than a penis.
----------------
I got to that line and stopped reading a second to give you a +2.
Now I'm going to go finish reading the post.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:22:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
in all honesty this isn't worthy of a plus 2, but i'd hate to break the string and you made me laugh so why the hell not.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:21:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you are magnificent
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:18:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Request line: Picking up chicks at the gym while you are sweaty and straining. It's almost like a preview of how you will look when your mission is accomplished.
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:16:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:16:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and were you kidding with this line: "Where their is civilization, their is chicks"
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:15:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome.
best place to pick up chicks: the airport.
i live about 10 mins away from an airport, and i go there once a month, whenever there's really nasty weather. there's all kinds of sluts waiting for delyas, and begging for the caulk.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:12:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Put the dick away for now."
Ahhh that where I went wrong
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:12:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
quite very awesome.
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny as hell.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:08:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"This girl needs some tender loving. And there is nothing more tender than a penis."
Uzi, you magnificent bastard!
Submitted by JenBee (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:06:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HA HA!
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-11-05 12:05:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
next in this series: how to pick up chicks at grocery stores.