Passing Fridays (1021 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.25 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <sp_monitor.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-05 13:52:52 EST
I left the gym this morning, my Friday AM ritual, and proceded to fight traffic down the 405 fwy to the office when my cell phone rang. On the other end of the line was an old friend of mine, a Hollywood nobody turned Director, and to protect his identity I'll just call him "Dick".
Dick was going on and on about the late night hang he had with a couple A-List celebrities, and of course he had to mention the sweet Hollywood kiss he got from a rather hot leading lady that not a one of you would mind being kissed by, not even you ladies. This girl is that hot. I shudder to think of how many people on Earth have pleasured themselves to her pictures, let alone what Dick must of done last night before retiring to bed after having her lips firmly pressed against his own.
This wasn't the type of conversation I was looking for. If anything I had hoped it was a female who was overly eager for the weekend booty call. At least I could of added a star next to her name in my cell so that should I strike out in my attempt to practice procreation this weekend with a hot stranger, I'd have a more than willing partner in the wings but no luck, it was just Dick rubbing it in. (That sounds wrong)
At any rate I don't want to rant too much here today. I just want to comiserate with those of you that are sitting in your offices, cubicles or wherever it is the people in charge have decided you sit best and let you know how I've spent the past 4 hours here in hopes that it sparks some creative juices that help you pass the day.
It all started with reading the news at Yahoo. I generally skip over the words and just look at most popular pictures, then compare those to the editor's picks which are generally less interesting.
For instance over the past few days there's been a see through picture of Sabrina Williams in a red dress with her giant tennis balls nippling through the garment. This is currently the most viewed photo and I can see why. I gave it plenty of reflection and have decided that I don't particularly care for seeing her topless, but then again I'm glad I saw it because it's not everyday you see mammoth Tennis Star's globes. Of course the editor's top pick is a red dinosaur in a cage...come on.
This photo spree turned up a nice picture of Shania Twain. I've always thought she was hot, so I did a little more digging to see if anyone had gotten pictures of her in a compromising situation, but alas she never dated a rock star and there's just no homemade porno to download anywhere. I did run into the Shania Twain nip slip, but I spent myself on that excitement years ago.
This got me through a couple hours, but it just wasn't good enough because I'm here for another 8 at least. I decided to accompany the smokers downstairs for an impromptu get together with the hot chicks that stink like cigarettes that are always out front of the building. I realized that while hot, a stinky chick is a stinky chick and quickly fled back upstairs. These girls were best beheld from a distance.
This left me with no recourse but to make the rounds to everyone's office. No one was happy about seeing me pop in, partly because I'm extremely annoying when I'm bored, and partly because they were all pretending to be extra busy today when really they were playing a LAN game of Halo. Our bosses aren't that bright. Perhaps everyone wearing headphones and pounding on the walls "Fuck you fragmeat!" is a tipoff to us, but I think when you put on a suit and tie that it does something negative to your brain. Who am I kidding? Those guys were prolly just at the nudie bar across the street fucking around too.
I was most recently in the marketing office where I was pretending to help a really cute girl that works there with her computer. Really I was just standing behind her chair looking down her shirt and a couple times I convinced her to bend over and look under her desk at the cables on the floor to see if that's why her monitor kept flickering. I had to call in some help from the real tech department because they always buy my lunch when I get her to do something that means they get to see her ass. Today was special, we got to see her thong so I'm having steak.
Now I'm back reading through Ubersite looking for a gem to give me a laugh. My other browser window is open to Google Images and I'm fighting the urge to just go for it and type in "tight ass big tits" to see what pictures it has in store for me. Even that can only tide me over so long, and I do hate having to run adware to remove all the funny things that infect my machine after looking at those things.
I plan on spending the last part of the afternoon hitting up ifilm.com to watch the R rated movie clips that Mr. Skin puts up. When playtime is over I'll drive home, get another call from Dick who'll tell me that he's going to hang out with some celebrities at a trendy nightclub, and when I finally go out tonight and the ladies ask me what I do for a living I'll come up with something good like "Super Hero Astronaut" then end up dialing my regulars for a late night romp after they've laughed me out of the place. Hmm...maybe I'll just tell them the truth about what I do, which is everything Mon-Thur and absolutely nothing on Fridays. That's as good an experiment as any. Will they like the obvious liar or the lazy bastard? Yeah, neither, but who cares because Michelle and her roommate are a lot of fun with the lights off and it only costs me a couple cheap jugs of wine.
Anyway, that's how I'm getting through the day. Hope yours is filled with fun and excitement and if it isn't, find a young person in your office that doesn't know what they're doing and make them do tricks that amuse you. It's good for about an hour and half of laughs. If you think of anything else let me know. This post only took up a few minutes...sigh, 7.5 hours to go.
User Reviews
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-11-05 15:59:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What discretion?
Submitted by JenBee (user info) at 2004-11-05 15:23:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Something something a friend named dick...something...plus two.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:19:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
made me smile
and cringe.
and reflect on my life.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:16:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
your discretion annoys me.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:12:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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