Absentee Father (525 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.83 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by engine13 (View user info) at 2004-11-05 14:23:40 EST
I picture him sitting in a dimly lit room, smoking Camels, a glass of Crown Royal perched on the table beside him. Lonely. Old. Worn out. Wondering where his children are and what they have become. I imagine he runs his mistakes over in his mind the way someone rolls good scotch around in their mouth before swallowing. Savoring the flavor and welcoming the burn going down. I can only hope there is a burn going down.
How did he get to be so old and lonely? He probably still doesn't realize why they don't call or write. He's been sucked so deep into his addictions that he can't see the truth anymore. He has covered up the truth, the past, with his lies and deceptions. And alcohol. Oh, sweet alcohol. Sometimes it's the only thing that will work. I know because he has passed that curse on to me. I can feel the addiction running through my veins. Warm and soothing when fed, dry and thirsty otherwise. I stand on the edge of that precipice and see his body strewn on the rocks below. It's the only thing that keeps me from jumping.
In reality, the situation is probably nothing like I picture it. He is probably happy in his newest identity. Not thinking twice of the person he really is or has been. Not thinking twice about the dead person whose social security number he now inhabits. Not thinking about how that person died, or how close of friends they were. His close friends or relatives who have died or killed themselves live on through him. In their death, he has created yet another loophole. Another place those pesky government officials looking for money he owes to them and his children can not look.
He probably has a new wife, or the second one might still be around. They don't usually last too long though. He charms them in the beginning. But, no amount of charm can cover the bruises the next day.
He is probably stoned, or drunk, and telling the same old stories I've heard a million times. Lying on the couch nursing his latest workers compensation claim. Tending his garden, playing with the dogs. Doing all the things normal everyday people do.
Does he ever wonder who would show up at his funeral? I tend to think most people do at some point. Who are the people who would really miss you when you're gone? I used to make myself think he was dead. I would pretend that someone had called and he had been in a terrible accident and didn't make it out alive. I would do it to see if I would cry. To see if I still cared. I don't anymore. Cry that is. I'm sure I still care. How could you not.
In the end none of this really matters. He will go on with his life, and I with mine. I'm sure he thinks of me occasionally as I do of him. But, we will not attempt to contact each other. There is nothing to be said or done.
User Reviews
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-11-19 17:16:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy Fucking Shit.
How did I miss this?
Velly Goot!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-19 15:12:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very Good.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-11-06 00:16:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cry me a fucking river. Sometimes it's good that you never know your dad.
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-11-05 19:42:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks everyone. I didn't really expect this to do very well, just some things that have been rolling around in my mind lately.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-11-05 18:58:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's some heavy shit, 13!
I can especially relate to the part about trying to fool your self into believing something to see if you cry or not. I know I have done that...I think everyone has at some point, but I don't think I've ever heard it expressed...
Submitted by arcane (user info) at 2004-11-05 15:23:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can only hope that story doesnt apply to any one... Sadly it does and you hit the nail on the head.
Submitted by JenBee (user info) at 2004-11-05 15:18:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Dragon (user info) at 2004-11-05 15:13:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I imagine he runs his mistakes over in his mind the way someone rolls good scotch around in their mouth before swallowing"
Nice.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-11-05 15:07:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Close to home.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:53:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by IamNotTheWorldTradeCenter (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:48:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There is some really, really good stuff on this site. Nobody pay attention to it.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:43:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I've got one of those!
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-11-05 14:27:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment