Episode 25: "The Football Team Strikes Back" (2381 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 0.67 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <sparky19852.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-06 13:51:05 EST
Episode 25: "The Football Team Strikes Back"
Warning: The following is an account of someone clinically diagnosed as a sociopath.
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For those of you who are not avid readers, I should let you know that I have recently been feuding with this big jock at my college. For details, please see:
- Episode 4: "First Fight at College" (9-10-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/44668
- Episode 8: "College Wars" (9-20-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/45652
Well, anyway, I recently was walking home from college one night, after a long day of doin' my whole sociopath thing--hitting on chicks, torturing nerds, fighting with teachers, hitting on teachers, doing coke in the bathroom...you know. When I was crossing through the edge of the campus, I soon discovered that the entire football team--yes, the ENTIRE football team--was standing in the middle of a road staring at me.
Even a sociopath such as myself managed to gulp in...well, not terror...let's say surprise.
"Hey, Sam," the tall quarterback yelled to me.
"Yeah," I said, walking up to all of them, putting on my crazy face and wide-sociopath eyes.
"We're going to kick your ass," he said.
I smiled.
"Really, guys, I admire your bluntness," I said. "This whole thing is really cute. It kind of reminds me of a Gap commercial."
I wanted to reference that musical with the dancing street punks, but I couldn't remember the name of it.
There really wasn't much more conversation. In one swift rush, the team descended upon me. They beat the crap out of me from one end of the street to the other. I really, REALLY got the shit beaten out of me. I barely struggled, because I knew I had no chance.
I really have to say, however, that I wish the fucking kids at my school had a little more tact. Ooh, they beat me up. Who fucking cares?
I'm going to get back at each of those fucking bastards.
******************************
THE CHRONICLES OF COLLEGE-GUY
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The Tale So-Far
Episode 1 - "The Sociopath Movement" (9-9-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/44546
Episode 2 - "What is ACTUALLY a rape?" (9-10-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/44583
Episode 3 - "My Sexual Deviant Cousin" (9-10-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/44640
Episode 4 - "First Fight at College" (9-10-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/44668
Episode 5 - "My First Sexual Experiences" (9-11-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/44693
Episode 6 - "My Sister and Her Panties" (9-12-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/44790
Episode 7 - "Grave-Robbing" (9-14-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/44948
Episode 8 - "College Wars" (9-20-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/45652
Episode 9 - "My Diagnosis" with Britney Spears pic (9-21-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/45663
Episode 10- "My Personal Savior" (9-21-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/45701
Episode 11- "A Drug Trip" (9-26-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/46157
Episode 12- "Which Stars Would You Fuck?" (10-1-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/46810
Episode 13- "The Star-Fucking Results" (10-2-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/46824
Episode 14- "I Want to Sleep With My Mom" (10-10-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/47731
Episode 15- "Here's How to Do a Butt-Post" (10-10-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/47823
Episode 16- "A Sociopath, Yes! But a Serial Killer? (10-16-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/48648
Episode 17- "My Farewell Rant to Ubersite" (10-20-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/49121
Episode 18- "The Sociopath Comeback Special" (10-22-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/49360
Episode 19- "Man, I'm Killing Myself!" (10-23-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/49406
Episode 20- "Now I'm Dead" (10-24-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/49542
Episode 21- "Einstein Told Me to Jack Him Off" (10-29-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/50062
Episode 22- "Meeting Satan" (10-31-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/50210
Episode 23- "God Lives in a Harlem Crack-House" (11-2-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/50350
Episode 24- "Larry" (11-5-04) http://www.ubersite.com/m/50748
Episode 25- "The Football Team Strikes Back" (11-6-04) YOU'RE HERE
User Reviews
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-12-27 09:23:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry I didn't see this series earlier.
I am hooked. You are appreciated.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-12-20 16:22:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2004-12-10 10:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
EchoBoxing is a little twat.
+2.
Submitted by ProbablyACircle (user info) at 2004-11-15 04:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful.
<3#12043
-Krista
Submitted by will72 (user info) at 2004-11-07 14:01:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
they suck, but will eventually be working at a gas station.....if they're lucky.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2004-11-07 13:50:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2004-11-06 22:10:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you managed to get a whole TWO reviews. i'm impressed.
Submitted by Anarchy (user info) at 2004-11-06 14:56:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment