Real Minor Hockey (582 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.38 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ShatteredDreams (View user info) at 2004-11-06 18:44:30 EST
I related in an earlier post that Martensville had some pretty good hockey teams. Even lower level hockey, tier 2 & 3, woudl usually kick major ass. I, however, was once on the best, but worst team ever to grace the piece of shit rink that Martensville has.
The Bantaam 3 Martensville Marauders went into the season not expecting much but fun. We had one or two AAA quality players that just weren't interested in the game enough to pursue it on AAA quality hockey clubs, so they just played with us. They were our offence. We scored the least goals in the league that year, with all but 3 going to those two guys.
I was a goalie. Not a bad one, but by no means was I good either. I coudl stop the puck, but my main goal was to get into as much shit as possible on the ice. So was most of the guys on the team.
The team started off not too bad, we only dropped our first 5 games by a combined score of 6-1. The guys played sound on the defensive side of the ice, not allowing too much on the way to the net. We never really took penalties in those first five games.
Then something snapped.
Warman *spits* wasn't in our league. We played in the Saskatoon league, and they played in Center Four. We usually scheduled two or three exhibition games a year against them, and on this night was our first. It started off okay, everyone was having fun, hard hitting hockey. UNtil the biggest guy on our team, 6'3", 12 year old Jordan knocked on of those Warmanites unconcious. The stands erupted. It was a packed house, like it usually is in Martensville because of lack of anything else to do.
This clean, open ice hit sparked some interest about halfway through the second period. Their biggest guy tried to hit Jordan. Jordan had a good 6 inches on him, and he fell after he made contact with our behemoth. Although Jordan could have just skated away from the hit and continued up the ice, he took that oppertunity to pretend like he got hit hard enough to fall, and he landed right on the Warmanite's chest. A thud was heard, and a whistle was blown. One more from Warman *spits* out of the game. Injury: Broken Collar-bone.
Jordan had taken out two. Beggining of the third period was nasty. A line brawl started things off of the opening face-off, five players a side were booted from the game. We had 3 lines and 3 D-men remaining, they had a line and an extra guy, and 2 D-men. The game was taken easy for lack of players, and people were getting tired.
With about 2 minutes remaining in the third period, I got ran over in the net. I hate being touched while playing goal, and people know it on my team. This guy was sitting on top of me in the back of the net, and my guys got the hell out of there. He got up, parked himself in front of the net ready to deflect a shot, and I got up. The shot came, and I reached up my stick, and two-handed this motherfucker in the ankle.
Broke my stick, and they weren't light like they are nowadays, it was a heavy wooden bastard. In comes the ref to grab me and escort me off of the ice, when the next thing I know, their goalie tackles me from behind. The benches clear and a brawl ensues. We have the advantage of 3 more guys than they do, and the crowd is going nuts.
(Too bad this wasn't revenge for the pit parties, but this was way before those stories)
Punches are being thrown, helmets are being ripped off. People are getting the shit beaten out of them. The small contingency of Warmanites that travelled for the game (about 70) jumped over the glass and onto the ice, and were immediately followed by the entire Martensville crowd. The Warmanites backed off enough the let the bench brawl go at center ice. It lasted about 20 minutes before everyone was tired enough to stop. And stop we did, but not before shouting at each other VeggieTales style.
Eventually, we got enough players off of suspention to play some more league games that year, but we finished with a record of 2-35-0. We only played 22 of the games, the rest we didn't have enough guys to play. With 22 games, we led the league in penalty minutes by over 200, was behind in goals scored by over 80, and was right in the middle of the pack for goals against.
Best team ever.
User Reviews
Submitted by ShatteredDreams (user info) at 2004-11-07 15:45:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Settle down, buddy. All I said was that because of the formatting, it led me to believe it was plagerized. The post wasn't very good anyway, as you can see by the other terrible reviews it got.
Submitted by rcchristi (user info) at 2004-11-07 09:20:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've been looking for you, ShatteredDreams. You're the one who dissed
my piece on Dick Enveigh. You said you think it was plagiarized. Let
me tell you something. I can't even spell 'plagiarized' without utili-
zing spellchecker. If anything, I made up the story, which makes me
more of a Jason Blair type bullshitter than any plagiarist. Do you also
happen to suspect George Plimpton may have plagiarized his book about
playing goaltender for the Boston Bruins, too? Maybe he stole the idea
from me? Or maybe you show signs of your own form of paranoia - - everybody
is stealing his or her written works from somebody else. Maybe nobody has
actually written anything. And maybe Francis Bacon wrote everything
previously credited to Shakespeare.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-07 08:59:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What a fucking little bitch to slash a player in the ankle like that. I can't wait to rip your cock off and make you eat it you PUSSY!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-07 01:21:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hockey sucks man, who the fuck cares?
Submitted by ShatteredDreams (user info) at 2004-11-07 00:45:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yzerman and Sackic would be cool to see fight, but only because they are the epitamy of exellence in the game, as you said.
Yzerman might break a hip. Hell, half of the Leafs may break hips if they fight. Bad time to be a Leafs fan. :(
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:59:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Joe Sakic and Steve Yzerman aren't talentless fighters, they're perfect competitors in the world's great game.
Or they were. Fuck the NHL.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:49:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember when a fan was heckling a player who was bleeding...then later in the game the same fan caught a puck to the head and was bleeding. I forget which player it was or which team it was, but I think that's funny as fuck.
Two players I'd like to see fight are Joe Sakic and Steve Yzerman. I'd like to see them fight each other just because everyone would be freaking out over it.
I'd also like to see them make-out....
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:41:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some goalie two-handed me in the back of the leg once.
I didn't need my goalie to get even...I beat him up and got suspended for six games. He was injured for ten.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:38:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for hockey
+2 for Saskatoon
+2 for Saskatchewan
extrapolated +2 for Gordie Howe
Submitted by ShatteredDreams (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:27:15 (#)
Ranking: 1
I know that I'm going to end up being like that guy who fell into the penalty box when Tie Domi sprayed water at him. Except I won't be fat. Or a dumbass.
I remember that like it was yesterday. Hilarity at its finest. I don't care what people say, Domi is the best fighter in the game. And will be again once the NHLPA and the NHL get their act together.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-11-06 19:27:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for Hockey
+2 for Saskatchewan
-2 for spelling
-1 for Saskatchewan
One of the best college hockey games I covered for my school was during the playoffs. There were a few seconds left on the clock and the opposing team charged our goalie. The line on the ice for my school was our grind line, so all hell broke loose. I remember how the near empty arena erupted with noise and everything went nuts.
At one point, I was on the bench yelling for no other reason than I was pissed off. I think it would've been awesome to jump on the ice and start attacking people too, but the fact that I wasn't on the team and was just in street clothes would've lead to me getting an ass-kicking and slapped with some bogus assault charges.
I know that I'm going to end up being like that guy who fell into the penalty box when Tie Domi sprayed water at him. Except I won't be fat. Or a dumbass.