The Date After Next (1521 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.5 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Madness 2004 (View user info) at 2004-11-07 20:00:26 EST
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Entry 1
There is, all at once, a fleeting moment of rationality that will hit you like a brick wall and then subside, leaving you shaken and doubting everything that you have ever lived for. It will well up and wash over you momentarily and then leave you, shaking and transformed.***
It was almost one year ago that I left for California with hopes of discovering myself and what it would take to finally find peace. The west coast is best in the fall--the days are clear and warm, the nights are soft and quiet. A few weeks beforehand my girlfriend and I had broken up after a deeply emotional 4-year relationship. The coast seemed like the most obvious answer to my grief--I couldn't tell you why...it had always brought me peace before.
You don't realize how long the body can survive without sustinence. Most days I lived on a cup of coffee and the occassional bagel. You're tired and you're shaky most of the time. Words flow off of the page when you try to read and sounds are quieter and less important. But somehow starving yourself helps you to forget about what else is happening. Your body stops dedicating its energies to emotion and works on keeping you awake...alive.
***
It had been awhile since I had seen the ocean. 3 years. Or 4. I still wasn't eating much but the sound helps you to remember things in the haze of a half-starved memory. Even though it had been over a month since I had cut it off with her--my Lady Godiva--I still sought some sort of solace; my body craved it and at the same time dreaded the moment when I would finally let go and begin the long process of forgetting about her. I imagined the pain to be something that would stick with me, but I hoped the waves would erode it away and make it a little less noticeable.
I spent the trip sitting in the foam of the ocean and losing myself in my mind. I thought, but I also tried to concentrate just on living...experiencing. To live phenomenologically requires a lot more skill than I had, though and at times I wished the tide would carry me out and give me a permanent way to forget. But I knew I wasn't going to shake my feelings here. A few more days remembering the sound of the crashing sea water and shifting sand and I left, discouraged and restless.
***
The plan was simple. Over the course of my trip, I had been conversing with a friend about moving into his since deceased grandfather's house. We would be roommates and his father would cut us a deal on the rent. Upon my return I would prepare to move out of the apartment a month later. She wanted me to stay, begging me through sobs and coughs on the phone, but I had made up my mind. It would be easy.
After returning, we exchanged the small talk you would naturally expect. She was good at holding back the tears at first, but I could usually hear her muffled sobs through the thin walls of our apartment at night. We went on for a week--living together, speaking occassionally, and preparing for Christmas--with few complications. I was better than her at concealing my grief, but my consolation meant little to her. My resolve to part quickly and quietly didn't numb her, though.
Things begin to make more sense when you wrap your arms around your past lover's petite frame and it doesn't help like it used to; the tears won't stop and no amount of strength will help that. The trauma of the entire ordeal had left me focused on ignoring my feelings, but nothing summoned tears up more than she did as she buried her face in my shoulder.
***
I remember the day distinctly. We were both getting ready that morning, a cold December weekday with lots of clouds. I had agreed to stay a little while longer...help her to gain some financial footing and figure out where she wanted to go. Unlike most days, she was warmer than me, which I noticed shortly after she snuck behind me. After several weeks of virtually no contact, she wrapped her arms around me as I stood in front of the mirror. After resisting so many times before, I breathed.
If you have never had a grieving woman beg you to make love to her one last time, then you cannot know how it feels to surrender to her wishes after swearing to yourself that you wouldn't. When you feel her mouth against yours and her body feeling desire for you, tears well up and pour down your face. It was, without a doubt, the most intensely emotional bond I have ever felt with any person in my life.
You would think that a neglected love would be less--less passionate, less ardent, less desperate. It isn't. The force of her words and the movement of her body spoke to me louder than the ocean could ever hope to. She washed over me and at that moment, I knew where my peace was. I knew where I belonged. And I knew what I had to do.
***
Sometimes you find the answers in the most unexpected of places. When you're hurting, you find yourself always wishing for tomorrow in hopes of realizing that your pain is subsiding, constantly wishing for the date after next to hand you the cure. When your soul dances with another, you've found what you're looking for and the only thing you seek is a way to make every moment more permanent...some way to hold on to the fleeting memories.
I found my answer in the arms of a mermaid. She hasn't let me go since.
- VS -
Entry 2
"Out of the question. How dare you." I mumbled into his glare. "Is the gun necessary?"Making a deal with the devil was something I could never have imagined would happen to me. My life had been perfect since I signed that contract. Things change so fast.
"Don't be so melodramatic Mr. Burr." Jake snapped.
"You think that just because you fill out your 1040 every spring and drive a Volvo that we would forget about your debt? This is your opportunity to give us what we deserve."
It was at this point I realized my 'pal' Jake was not merely trying to scare me; he was out to hurt me. Or worse. Jake and I had made an arrangement twelve years prior that changed the entire dynamic of my family. I never imagined it would come to this.
"I won't do it Jake. He means the world to us." I shakily confirmed.
"Don't make this difficult Jon."
"Don't insult me, I'm leaving." I retorted.
Jake had been a close contact of mine since that fateful agreement years ago. I couldn't help but look into his eyes and wonder how a man who had been so helpful and generous could morph so completely. His eyes had always seemed so cheerful to me.
This was not the time for my mind to drift through idiotic platitudes. Of course that's when it came.
BLAM!
My right leg was shredded by the gun blast.
The sound resonated in my ears so fiercely that I thought my very last breath was upon my lips.
****
"Jon, can you help me with these?!" Sarah yelled.
"Why do you buy so many groceries anyway, I swear to shit that I throw out half a fridge-full every Tuesday".
Sarah and I moved to the suburbs the same year David was born. We noticed quickly that his intelligence could be described as no less that incredible for his age. At twelve he had already gone to national scientific symposiums held both in New York and Los Angeles as a junior keynote speaker. David was a miracle baby for us. A miracle may not be the most appropriate way to describe him. He's more like a conjured spell.
Sarah and I had unsuccessfully tried every form of conception to no avail for years before we got our pleasant surprise.
Exhausted at the prospect of our inability to reproduce, Sarah and I looked further for success. Too far as it turns out.
My wife's cousin Tim worked in a government laboratory that researched the effects of "neural-charging". Upon visiting us one Thanksgiving he spoke of a project in the works dealing with childbirth that he had limited knowledge about. Even though this project was still in beta stage we were ecstatic at the prospect of another chance at parenthood. We followed a list of contacts and became the first to volunteer.
David was conceived at a lab just outside of Chicago. At the time of his conception, we were informed that part of the process dealt with his neurons being charged with "ultra-magnets" and multiplied to form an unnatural bond in the cerebellum, enhancing the prospects of his ability to retain and utilize vast amounts of information.
By the time he was fourteen months old, he was not only speaking clearly but also reading everything we had in the house. It wasn't long after his tenth birthday that he began to undertake projects dealing with science and mechanics, done all with the sponsorship and encouragement of his proud parents.
School was never really his place, as he dwarfed his classmates in every category of learning. His fascination with chemicals and physics far surpassed his enthusiasm for socializing at all. However, it wasn't long before his merits were lauded and recruited by the top thinkers of this nation. He was discovered at a tech convention demonstrating his homemade solar panels.
Media attention shortly followed his twelfth birthday and second groundbreaking speech on thermodynamics. It was around this time that our contact at the lab, Jake, began visiting us more frequently. He seemed incredibly uneasy when told of the exploits and achievements of our son.
"Jon, I forgot to mention to you that Jake called while you were at the conference with David." Sarah informed.
"Strange, I paid them on time..."
"He seemed really stressed out. He wants you to meet him at the quarry tonight... what's going on?" Sarah interrupted.
****
As I lay shaking on the pavement, I couldn't help but wonder if David would ever realize the origin of his existence.
I had been paying the 'lab' stipends bi-annually since David's birth, at the request of the director. I was not one to question the motives, as I felt that any payment was justified by joy Sarah and I experienced with David. Although now it has become apparent that I had only been incubating a fund to be used to isolate and study the maturation of my omni-brilliant son.
I should have expected something like this. Everyone at the lab was far too interested in my son. Could I really give my son to these maniacs? David was so innocent and peaceful.
"He's my son Jake, please... leave my family out of this. If it's a money thing, I'll pay."
Jake stared at me stoically. "Do you not realize that David is special? He's our creation, our invention if you will. We never expected this much success so quickly, and unfortunately, his ability has garnered far too much attention. We cannot be discovered... we cannot lose our project."
"Could you not have told us this? We were simply your decoy? He may be a project in your eyes, but he's our son!"
"You and Sarah were the perfect couple for us. We needed our subject to be raised in a 'normal' environment in order for his transition to be smooth." Jake explained.
The pain in my leg was stifled by the heaviness in my heart. I was in no position to argue with this man, and whatever sick organization he is part of. I knew what I had to do.
"You have until next Friday Burr. Our investment has matured, and we will collect. Produce David to us peacefully, or yours is not the only life that will be taken."
He called me an ambulance and left without speaking another word. Sarah met me at the hospital with David in tow.
"Son, I have to talk to you."
****
On the Friday after next, David and I waited for Jake in the lobby of the lab where my son was 'created'. David showed no emotion as he took Jakes hand and walked off.
I hobbled out of the building a broken man.
****
The explosion left only one survivor. David walked in the door with the strangest grin on his face.
David quietly explained, "They told me I was to train as a special operations scientist. They told me I was destined to work for them. They wanted me to forget all about you guys and create special weapons. I showed them I already knew how to kill."
The experiment worked after all.
Entry 1:
10c7c
absolutes
AsshOly
Bigmike
Coyote
darko
Dirtbird
Durae
engine13
FunnyAsCancer
godking
LadyPlural
Mercutio
roxxxy4
salmonofdoubt
satchel
Stin
tmofw
Vanilla
wazzawazzayo
William_Q_Percy
16 eligible votes (21 total) *
Entry 2:
bigbabylons
BillsSBChamps
bob
cexshun
Circe
corn_nugget
Disektor
espo
humor_me
hyprspacd
iddqd
jack11058
Jack_McCallum
JonnyX
munkeypants
MyNameIsTim
mystiamoon
NerfHerder
polyamorousaj
ralphmacchio
redraven
Seralena
sparkle_pink
Spuds002
Stabkill
stevie_says
thaumaturge
tidalfae
Tigre
tlozoot
WillZone
xenon
youarsoghey
zombieZero
24 eligible votes (34 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Mercutio (user info) at 2004-11-11 09:01:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It was a good round. Initially you had me by a wide spread, but it slowly closed. Well done work for such a tough title. My goal for the competition was to finish with an entry that I was proud of; I liked this one and I'm glad this was my last hurrah. Good luck in the next round.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-11-10 19:19:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by salmonofdoubt (user info) at 2004-11-10 18:27:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Simon Maksimovic <Monkeyprobed.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-11-10 10:05:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A truly emotionally charged piece of writing.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-11-10 09:46:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
#2.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-11-10 08:49:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-11-10 01:33:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-11-09 22:40:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Difficult choice. Sorry someone has to lose.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-11-09 20:39:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Both well-written. I chose two because it had a bit more of a plot. Both were enjoyable.
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2004-11-09 17:50:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bigbabylons (user info) at 2004-11-09 17:26:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-11-09 16:46:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by godking (user info) at 2004-11-09 15:57:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-11-09 15:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gotta give it to 1.
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2004-11-09 14:32:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
...
Submitted by roxxxy4 (user info) at 2004-11-09 09:23:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-11-09 09:17:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that reminded me of a movie...
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2004-11-09 01:15:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by zombieZero (user info) at 2004-11-08 21:45:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-11-08 19:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I rather liked both. Entry one made me think of... I don't know what, but I liked it.
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-11-08 18:44:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-08 16:27:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by tidalfae (user info) at 2004-11-08 15:56:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-11-08 15:20:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-08 15:02:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-08 14:43:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
both of these were meandering and contrived - #2 wins by having the slightest shred of plot, as opposed to #1, which had none at all. (although #2 needs how to learn where commas go, if they want to advance...)
Submitted by ralphmacchio (user info) at 2004-11-08 14:01:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by cexshun (user info) at 2004-11-08 13:17:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Vote 2
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-08 13:03:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by redraven (user info) at 2004-11-08 11:55:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-08 11:11:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Dirtbird (user info) at 2004-11-08 10:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-11-08 08:31:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-08 08:17:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2004-11-08 04:44:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Vanilla (user info) at 2004-11-08 04:01:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-11-08 03:48:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-11-08 03:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-08 02:15:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-11-08 00:25:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by tmofw (user info) at 2004-11-07 23:47:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-11-07 23:45:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-11-07 22:46:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-11-07 22:27:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Mercutio (user info) at 2004-11-07 22:11:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-11-07 21:27:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Neither if these were gripping, but #1 was pretty sad for round 4. #2 gets it.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2004-11-07 21:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by absolutes (user info) at 2004-11-07 21:13:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-11-07 21:07:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy crap! Looks like I am voting against the grain on this one...
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-11-07 20:52:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-11-07 20:43:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good match.
Author 1 - Beautiful, thank you.
Author 2 - I bet you were choked to read entry two of "broken bottles" this round! ;-)
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-07 20:39:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Vsshwaa
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-11-07 20:26:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bluh
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2004-11-07 20:25:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
These boy genius stories are okay.
Submitted by 10c7c (user info) at 2004-11-07 20:24:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i didnt really understand #2, ill try again later
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-07 20:19:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-11-07 20:16:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by humor_me (user info) at 2004-11-07 20:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-11-07 20:07:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment