The Green Fairy (916 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MrCoffee (View user info) at 2004-11-07 23:42:30 EST
I couldn't help but think "cackling junkie" as I looked at my mate sonny as he clutched the bottle of Absinthe.
See, a week previous I'd been perusing the shelves of Dan Murpheys liquor store (the absolute tits here in Australia as far as grog shops go) where I spotted the rare and mysterious Absinthe, aka "The Green Fairy" sitting on the shelf looking back at me with a mysterious greeney-turquoise smirk. Upon reading the label, I found that this was no faux absinthe, but infact the real stuff with distilled wormwood and the resulting psycho-addative Thujone in it - not as much as the 18th century versions - but the legal maximum of the stuff and a respectable 60% alcohol none the less. I'd read somewhere that the contraband on Absinthe containing Thujone had recently been lifted here in Australia, (unlucky you Americans!) but I hadn't even looked for the famous 18th century drink because it was reportedly still very rare.
Now just to clarify, I'm no Goth or pseudo-metalhead or arts student - I do however, like to collect obscure spirits as they are the final frontier of tastes you aren't ever likely to encounter anywhere else.
That said, I was a bit uncertain about this drink - these things tend to get banned for a reason & I'd read that it sends people round the twist & VanGough chopped off his ear while on the stuff....
Ha. Fuck it!
$50 later I had me a bottle of Doubs Premium Absinthe, including a proper "Absinthe spoon." coolness indeed.
Now above, I mentioned "Sonny" He's a mate of mine & lets just say that he isn't afraid of any mind altering substance known to man - as long as it can go in through your mouth or nose he's probably had it at some point. I on the other hand only drink & smoke the odd joint. Drugs aren't my thing.
Despite living quite close to me, I don't see sonny all that often & decided to pay him a surprise visit. As I was driving round to his place with absinthe in tote, a fond (yet slightly hazy) memory of a boys-weekend-away drifted up; We were all sitting around drinking & being merry when someone decided paintball. Sonny, being the only one of us who didn't know the meaning of the word "moderation" decided to take "something" prior. He got shot directly in the balls about 5 times, yet didn't even flinch - He was like the Terminator...On Crack....literally.
Anyway. I knocked on his door and he opened up and scowled in suspicion finding me and my stupid grin on his doorstep, however his scowl quickly turned to a grin of glee as I brought the bottle of absinthe up to eye level like a wine salesman. I'd suspected he'd know what it was, and I was bang on the money. "GET IN HERE!" he yelled and pulled me into his kitchen wringing his hands in anticipation. "wanna try one"? I casually enquired as I watched him handle the bottle like a new born child. "does a shark shit in the ocean?" he fired back looking like the Cheshire cat he was grinning so broadly. I'd previously read the recipe booklet attached to the neck of the bottle and was aware of the 2 main ways to drink it. First, there was the French method which involved pouring iced water through some sugar cubes sitting on the special absinthe spoon and allowing the sugar-water to mix with the absinthe. "yo dude, do you have any sugar cubes?" I asked and sonny sprung to action immediately - rifling & searching like a man possessed through his pantry. After about 3 minutes frantic searching he came back to the table looking thoroughly distraught and said: "nah man, I don't have any of the fuckers anywhere! WHAT NOW??!"
I had 2 words for him: "Bohemian Method." A look of pure relief went over him & he asked me what he needed and I told him to get some fine sugar, a lighter, a teaspoon and a pitcher of cold water. Within seconds all 4 were on the table waiting. I cracked the bottle & took a whiff of the contents. it smelt kinda like Jagermeister mixed with something else. Sonny took a sniff & recoiled like I had. "phwor.. smells strong" he muttered behind an ever increasing grin. I poured a shot of the green liquid into a small glass, then grabbed the teaspoon and dunked a mounded spoonful of sugar into the absinthe and carefully removed it again. I held the wet-with-absinthe spoon of sugar above the glass & turned to Sonny: "light me up dude" He grabbed the lighter and Lit the spoonful of green coloured sugar causing it to gently burn a deep blue and the crystals to caramelise with the absinthe into a clear green spoonful of syrup. I then put the flaming spoon into the glass & began to stir - only to have the rest of the glass gently "whumpf" into flame as well. Sonny quickly grabbed the pitcher of iced water and doused the flame with about 2 shots worth of water just as I'd told him too.
We both grinned like kids playing with fireworks and looked at the glass. The absinthe had turned a strange white opaque colour with a blue-ish hue near the surface. It looked like it meant business. We repeated the Bohemian method again for the 2nd glass and raised them both
"Well" I said "Here we go" and we both took a tentive sip from our drinks.
Fuck me dead.
Its really strong stuff.
Even with a dissolved teaspoon of sugar and x amount of water, it still tasted like really strong Jagermeister and something else like anise and some weird herby flavour. I honestly didn't mind it at the time and still don't, but sonny was making a face like he'd just been forced to drink a glass of dihhoreah. "UUAAGGH" he choked after the first sip, he took another sip - pulled another face - then knocked back what was left. "fuck me" he said, "that's some potent shit!" he then picked up and clutched the bottle, holding it close to his chest. "that's the shit man. from now on I'm only drinking absinthe" he giggled. I couldn't help but think "cackling junkie" as I looked at him nursing the rare green bottle. taking it away would be like taking the last cask of cheap wine from a bum on Christmas eve - he'd be a broken man without it. Without looking up he asked me how much for the bottle and I sold it to him on the spot for 60 bucks.
I'll buy myself another bottle soon. its not bad stuff in my books, i'll have to get smashed on it one day.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-11-07 23:45:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hurry up and re-submit this with PARAGRAPHS. I'll give you a +1 for effort.
Trust me, re-submit NOW and I'll read it.