Goddamn Mormons and Shit-Eaters! (1443 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.14 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (View user info) at 2004-11-08 15:29:22 EST
It's been a small while for me,
I've been a bit busy, you see;
My dick's been real hard,
And now slightly charred,
From stroking so much to Jeopardy!
It's a great fucking show, what else can I say?
So much has occurred in the past few days. There was apparently a good time had by all at Oktuberfest. Coincidentally, on this same past weekend a small Britney Spears cult in Utah managed to obtain pube clippings from the slutty singer. I mean entertainer. I mean...pop star. They consumed the pubes and set themselves on fire. Or at least they attempted to, until the leader's mom walked in on them and started smacking them upside the head with the Book of Mormon. Ahh, to be a part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Speaking of that, is there a Church of Jesus Christ of Former-Day Saints? Is that what other Christians are considered? Old skool, brotha. If I were a Baptist I'd storm into a Mormon meeting and start singing about how "the good lawd hates Mormons!" Then I'd whip out my schlong and claim a few wives. Can you imagine that? I think polygamy should be legalized. That would fucking rock!
"Honey, can you stay home with me after work and watch reruns of The Nanny?"
"Nah, sorry Wife 1. Wives 2 and 3 want to go to the baseball game and then come back to fuck for a few hours."
"Oh, well I'll be here then...I wouldn't want to bother you..."
"Nonsense, dear. I permit you to join us for the sex!"
"Yayy!! I will prepare the bedroom. Thank you, Jabba. You are truly a kind and just husband."
"I know."
Hey, any woman that would submit themselves to be one of many wives must be dumb enough to actually think that way.
If you took a piss on the top of the Empire State Building, would it reach the ground? Would it gain some awesome velocity and pierce through someone's head? That shit would be crazy! Imagine if that happened to a celebrity!
"Have you obtained the Jennifer Lopez autopsy reports?"
"Yes, Reporter 1. It appears that a pencil-wide-sized tunnel was carved from the top of her head, through a vital area of gray matter, with a termination point somewhere in her spinal cord."
"Do you know what caused this 'tunnel'?"
"Yes, Reporter 2. There is ample nitrogenous residue throughout this 'tunnel,' indicating that it was a steady stream of urine that did her in."
"But that would require an incredible velocity! Did someone piss from the top of the building? Do you have any suspects?"
"Well, I lost this bet..."
Okay, I got busted at work twice while writing this. Hence, time for me to wrap it up.
Shlongy can still suck my shit,
He's still really good at it;
He drinks cum as well,
But what the hell,
He still likes to suck on a tit.
One of his own, that is. Muuahahahahahaaaaaaahhahahahaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-11-08 21:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you have a job?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-08 18:22:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jabba is as literate as a steamy pile of Great Dane shit, and about as clever and witty as a kitchen appliance.
You don't have it, chief. You got no game at all.
Submitted by Zoidberg at 2004-11-08 16:06:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-11-08 15:48:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I can't -2 it since there is some funny stuff in between the limericks
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-11-08 15:48:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh dear.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-11-08 15:38:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks.
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-11-08 15:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-11-08 15:30:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ok.