40 things never said by rednecks (1603 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.38 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tokerson (View user info) at 2004-11-08 18:32:39 EST
*Note: Due to all your bitching, this is taken from http://www.daveschultz.com/rednecks/top40.htm
The top 40 things you would NEVER, EVER hear a Redneck say, no matter how much they've had to drink, no matter how far from the South they've wandered and no matter how much the skunks are threatening...
40. Oh I just couldn't, I mean, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrestling's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who gives a rip who won the Civil War?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
12. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
9. Checkmate.
8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
5. I don't have a favorite college team.
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3. You All.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
User Reviews
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2004-11-09 11:46:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-11-08 18:47:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
lame, I don't think ANYONE would ever say most of these....
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I, a middle-upper class, average intelligence Canadian, have said the following, as I hope most other people would:
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrestling's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
9. Checkmate.
8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
5. I don't have a favorite college team.
3. You All.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
That is over a majority... your move, asshole.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-11-09 00:33:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funee
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-08 21:18:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
9. Checkmate.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Awesome.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2004-11-08 21:16:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is that a Thinkgeek sock monkey?
Submitted by AshyLarry (user info) at 2004-11-08 21:13:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
I would hope no guy would ever utter those words, redneck or not.
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-08 21:09:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-11-08 19:23:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Katastrofadark (user info) at 2004-11-08 19:14:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haah
Submitted by Lady_in_the_radiator (user info) at 2004-11-08 19:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"... But aren't all vampires really just French people with colds?"
Submitted by ShatteredDreams (user info) at 2004-11-08 18:47:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Seen it about 18 kabillion times, asshole. Still funny, though.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-11-08 18:47:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
lame, I don't think ANYONE would ever say most of these....