A-hahahahahahahahahaha!!! (1187 hits)
Category: RomanceLabels: ETS_Nonfiction
Rating: 1.52 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (View user info) at 2004-11-09 14:03:05 EST
What am I doing? Is there no point to all this? I wonder what happened to wonder... O, how I long for longing... I could contine this until I had every reader thinking, "my god, when are you going to just kill yourself?" I will spare you all the paradoxical wordplay.
(Holster your weapons till the end...then you may fire at will. I will even turn my back so you won't have to look away...)
I am about to tell you some things that you already know. Some of you will see them and recognize that you know them, and some of you will not, but the truth is, this is not for either one of you, and I couldn't give a shit less whether you understand...
We are all following the path of least resistance...from one lover to the next. We are all just coasting along from one distraction to the next, trying to fill the void, trying to feed the hunger. Nothing is irrevokable. The void is an animal. Always hungry. Always driving us on...
But now I fast. Today I will starve the void out, taunting the demons that live within to show their faces. How can I fill that which is bottomless? It's interesting to see what happens when you stop giving it what it wants...to watch yourself deteriorate into a kind of muted madness...what Thoreau called 'quiet desperation'.
The human spirit is resiliant, but it is not unbreakable...
I had a dream last night that I was sitting in my room. I was drinking gasoline from a plastic cup. I accidentally spilled the cup onto the floor. Instantly the floor began to crack open like cakes of desert ground. I peered into one of the cracks and saw there below my bed, deep in the recesses of the crawl space the source of all my madness. There was a spring there bubbling from the ground around an ancient oak tree stump. The phantom limb of the tree passed straight through my bed and into my dreams. I am an intruder in it's intended space. Nature wants her world back... Her sickness bores into us all, and by attempting to fill the void with what we perceive as progress...we have made it deeper.
There is noone ever climbed a mountain without increasing the measure of his potential fall.
There is noone ever conquered a mountain who discovered anything but that there was nowhere else to go. Sure the view is nice while you're up there, but to know that you'll eventually have to come down and resign yourself to the mere memory of the moment is just a tease that is increasingly difficult to bear with age...
I think maybe I need another soul to maim - another person I can dive to the bottom of, tearing everything I see along the way to complete shreds...leaving a shell of that person in my wake. This would fill the void temporarily. To see them naked and torn and transparent beneath my hand would feed the hunger. To know that I had discovered that person, to know that I had climbed that mountain, would quell the pain of my thirst...if but for the moment.
I am a hunchback beast, a broken, ancient thing... Have you ever seen a beast turn into something beautiful? Have you ever seen the dark sexual spirit turned inside out in all it's lust, splashing its blackness upon the bedroom walls? Have you ever peered into the eyes of a lover and seen the animal that has now become your predator...or perhaps your prey???
"I knew you once...sometime long ago. I think I probably ate you...or you me."
Listening to our lover's heart, we can hear the pounding of primordial drums...and sometimes, if the stars are aligned in the right formation...if the gods are smiling, and if we let ourselves go completely and just for two seconds stop analyzing everything, the drums will quieten...and the quaking of the brain will be louder than the turning of the world as our eyes fill with love's true liquid...and we and the person whose nakedness we now behold will disappear into fog.
At that moment, time will start over.
User Reviews
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-07 18:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There is noone ever climbed a mountain without increasing the measure of his potential fall.
Crap.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-02 15:30:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-11-11 09:50:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Izzy: Thanks for your honesty and criticism. I know exactly what you mean. I tend to be very haphazard in my writing these days, as my emotions usually shift so quickly it becomes hard to grasp and hold them long enough to complete a thought. I could probably go through and revise this and make it linguistically perfect, but I won't. I have learned to embrace my imperfection somewhat as an essential aspect of my humanity. In other words, I just pretty much said 'fuck it'.
The fact that I wrote this directly in the submit window in between technical support calls at work doesn't help matters...
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-11-11 03:35:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ok... some parts of this i want to rate positively, and others negatively
sounds like something i would've written(that makes me want to neg it, just because i'm so self-critical)
it's definitely a good effort, and i can see where you're trying to go with this, the intent(pos)
but it lacks... that ineffable *something*, the je ne sais quois, that actually grabs a reader and holds his interest close to your breathing extollations(neg)
a couple of specific sentences are awkward, or awkwardly placed(neg)
a few others are beautiful(pos)
but because of the surroundings, they suffer(neg)
i'll give it a pos just because the rating isn't all that important *shrug*
keep it up
seek criticism
after you write something, set it aside for a few weeks/months -then come back to it, and analyze it. try to find out what was in it that you did not previously see. embrace it.
Submitted by icarus9mm (user info) at 2004-11-11 03:17:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fun party trick: drinking gasoline from a styrafoam cup before it dissolves.
oh man. that would be awesome. especially chased with OJ.
orange juice rocks.
Submitted by cosmogirl2k (user info) at 2004-11-09 21:26:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
its quet intresting
~*I aSkEd U iF i WaS pReTtY_yOu sAiD nO*~
~*I aSkEd U iF i WaS fAt_YoU sAiD yEs Of CoUrSe!*~
~*I aSkEd U iF yOu WaNtEd To B wItH mE fOrEvEr_yOu SaId No*~
~*I aSkEd U iF u WoUlD cRy If I wAlKeD aWaY_u SaId No*~
~*i HaD hAd EnOuGh I wAnTeD tO lEaVe... As I wAlKeD aWaY hE GrAbBeD mY aRm N sAiD...*~
::Ur NoT pReTtY, uR bEaUtIfUl... ThE oNlY tHinG bIG oR fAt AbOuT u Is Ur HeArT... I dOnT wAnNa B wItH yOu FoReVeR, i NEED yOu FoReVeR.. n BaBy I wOuLdNt cRy If YoU wAlKeD aWaY.. I wOuLd DiE!::
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-09 19:48:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2004-11-09 17:10:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You make The Platypus cry.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-11-09 16:54:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Filthy, I would be your humble and willing student...
But I think you might be suprised when I taught you a thing or two as well... (even if it's something you didn't want to know) :O)
--
Everyone else...I really didn't expect this to be well accepted at all. Thanks for trying.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-09 16:44:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's not the destination but the journey that enlightens you
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-09 16:26:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow... That's deep, man.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-11-09 16:00:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Honestly, you haven't lived. It's time you let me show you a few things.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-11-09 15:49:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautifully written.
Submitted by the_mysterious_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-09 15:43:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fascinating
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-09 15:25:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i had dreams last night too! http://www.ubersite.com/m/51036
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-09 15:19:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit man!
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2004-11-09 14:32:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All the tiny things that make up our worlds, and keep us from seeing the world as a whole, and how much bigger it is than what we're trying to wade through.
It's forgotten as quickly as it came, but those seconds are what make up life.
Take no notice of me, I'm crazy.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-11-09 14:23:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2004-11-09 14:23:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck?
And I mean that in the best way possible.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-09 14:21:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What is there to say?
To be able to let go for that one brief moment, let someone see the colour of your soul.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-11-09 14:17:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-11-09 14:14:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking awesome.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-11-09 14:09:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That kind of desperate thinking is what makes guys get married. It's true. Good work. Life's liek that, thanks for pointing it out, no one discusses it much. And yes, I'm married....
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-09 14:08:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Life is a complicated thing. Life is balance, and life is chaos. I could do this all day.
Submitted by MeatJerky (user info) at 2004-11-09 14:06:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome. Read my post, they have a similar vibe... its the Mountain Dew one. ( I refuse to linkwhore)
Submitted by SlowBrains (user info) at 2004-11-09 14:06:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
blah blah blah
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-11-09 14:06:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
allow me to +2 before the illiterates descend.