I am a feminist (515 hits)
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Submitted by Donne Fan (View user info) at 2004-11-09 17:06:28 EST
I am a feminist. I came to that realization today while I was having a conversation with a beautiful girl who puzzled me by majoring in college in feminist theory. I thought she was not a feminist. She asked why I thought that and I said "because feminism is about stuff like you know getting everyone to be a lesbian and/or promoting abortion" (yes I also tend to be semi serious and make ignorant sweeping generalizations to provoke a response within my daily conversation). In truth life is more fun for me when I imagine everything in caricature and so she did not fit my preconception of feminist classes full of lesbians and men haters who did not shave their legs and would score about an average of 3 on a scale of 1-10 in attractiveness (which has nothing to do with why they all hate men...) She said the basic definition of a feminist is someone who wants social, economic, and political equality. That is when it hit me, I am a feminist.
I wonder if feminists will welcome me with open arms. I wonder if their hugs will feel hairier than the normal embrace of a soft well groomed woman...err stop that...I am ready to be a feminist and I want equality so here are some proposals.
No more maternity leave unless there is also paternity leave. That is equality right? Everyone treated the same way. The talk of the pay disparity highlights a truly awful problem, women make much less than men on average. Equal pay for equal work! Women in law firms who take time off to have a baby should be treated the same as men who take the same amount of time off. If a woman wants to work 40 hours a week instead of 80 so she can have a family, she should make partner every bit as fast as a man at that same firm who works 40 hours a week.
No more mens and womens sports, just sports. It is a farce and a slap in the face to feminists everywhere that we have womens sports! We are giving the same prize money at major tennis and golf events to women as we do to men. That is such a degrading act. If Serena Williams would lose 99 times out of 100 to the 50th ranked mens player on tour, then she should not be making an incredible amount more in prize money for beating inferior competition. How degrading! The fuss over Michelle Wie is silly, because she should of course be allowed to play golf with the men. And all the men who can beat Annika Sorenstam should be making the millions she wins in prizes in competitions that exclude them. I realized this part of feminism when I was young and a girl wanted to play American style football with a large group of boys. I said it was fine but we were playing tackle and we were not going to change to anything else, but she said it was okay and I was glad to have her though some less enlightened youth protested. Later when I got older and my college scholarship in soccer disappeared because we had to create scholarships for womens rowing (a sport they had to recruit to get people to sign up for) because of supposed "equality" mandates I knew that it was wrong. Equality means everyone is a person! No men's and women's sports, just Sports! I feel confident women will continue to dominate on the balance beam, but if the WNBA disappears that will just free up more money for other players who are better, and that is equality.
No more paying for dates by guys. I cannot believe how stupid and unenlightened I have been! Opening the door, pulling out the chair, paying for the check! Now I will do that exactly 1/2 of the time, and the other half I will wait and refuse to open the door until the girl does it, I will stand at the table until my chair is pulled out, and I will order steak and lobster if I am hungry without worrying about the price because I will not be paying for it! I also get to get presents now. Feminism is awesome. I guess I will have to send tons more packages than I have ever in my life because girls I have dated have been a ton better at that, but I have to call on the phone less because the girl will pay for it and call me. I can also expect flowers. Ladies I like gardenia the best I think, it smells really nice. No more "chick flicks" to go see for me, I no longer believe in them. The next time someone says it is their turn to pick the movie I will go and enjoy and if the movie is horribly acted and seems to basically be a cliched retelling of the same girl is in a rut and kind of unattractive (cute but not hot) and suffering some professional setbacks but gets boy in the end, or realizes which boy is the right one to be with, I will critique it without worrying about offending anyone, because it is not a movie made to appeal to a certain crowd I do not belong to, it is just utter crap.
I am really happy I finally realized I am a feminist and I look forward to moving forward with my sisters, although since sister and feminist are gendered I will just refer to them as my fellow forward thinkers, or fft's. FFT's unite!
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-09 17:22:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you chow the beave?
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-11-09 17:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-09 17:10:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
FFT's? Fast Fourier Transforms?
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Nice - sounds like double E to me.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-09 17:10:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FFT's? Fast Fourier Transforms?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-09 17:09:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
holy awesome.
good points!
kicker of all ass!
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2004-11-09 17:08:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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