Flip A Coin For Democracy! (713 hits)
Category: Politics -> Election 2004Rating: 1.67 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ferretnose (View user info) at 2004-11-09 19:18:46 EST
I came back here to see what intelligent and/or funny discourse there would be during the aftermath of the election; now I feel like someone smacked me upside the head with a pile of rock hard shit.
If you're tired of reading anything about politics, you were duly notified that this would be a political post, so why are you reading this?
While waiting in line to cast my vote, as if a vote by somebody in a non-battleground state would matter, I noticed eight people flipping a coin. They informed me that, since both candidates were so shitty, they were going to just flip a coin and let fate decide it.
Here we have people spewing equal amounts of hatred and stupidity towards anyone who voted for Lil'Baby Bush. They indicate that anyone who voted Republican must surely be a dirt covered rube with a Jebus agenda, or a rich whitey who thinks this vote will make him richer. There's even a link on Bored At Work to some place that offers apologies to the world for Bush being re-elected. Most of the people in the pictures look like wedgeheads that I wouldn't hire to mow the lawn.
Then we have people who insist that anyone who voted for old Flip-Flop Kerry must be an abortionist-hugging, pot smoking, welfare lovin' hippie who cares more about the rights of animals than of humans. There are numerous websites that advance this theory.
When you get right down to it, the fact is that both men are rich, spoiled jackasses that genuinely don't care about regular, everyday folks like us, because they have never been regular folks like us. Furthermore, nobody, and I mean NOBODY that I know falls into those stereotypes of Republicans and Democrats that I mentioned above. Most people have a combination of values and beliefs that cannot be categorized as such. My best friend voted differently than I, even though we were raised with the same socio-economic status and religious beliefs.
I firmly believe that a vast amount of people who voted, even those who couldn't be bothered to vote before, voted only for what they considered the lesser of two serious evils. I hate to quote South Park, but boy they had it right: You can vote for a Giant Douche, or a Turd Sandwich. Though I did not flip a coin, I can completely understand. There is simply nothing noble left about voting for either party. There is only the ACT of voting that now separates us from everyone else. Not saying that's good, just stating a fact.
Also, if you didn't vote at all, who gives a shit what you think about who won? And as far as that apology website is concerned,I'm not apologizing to any f***ing body. Why should an American apologize for doing the very thing that makes us Americans, regardless of the outcome? I took what they gave me and had to choose which candidate I felt was the least likely to get my ass blown up in my local mall or football game. Does anyone else see the pathetic nature of this gamble? Because that's what it is, a gamble in which everyone loses except for a very select few- the fortunate sons, which is exactly what both candidates are. Vote or Die? No. Vote and live in fear- one guy wants to turn the US into a big group grope, paying grab-ass with the world for their approval; the other wants to isolate us with his incessant warmongering. Result? Either way, some dickweed blows up our shit, and the other countries will either hate us or rule us. Where's the middle? We have to create the middle! Politicians will NEVER serve the masses.
Either way you go, as you cast your vote, a giant invisible dildo made of ice and ninja stars pops out of the voting booth and screws you as you walk self-righteously away.
P.S.
A big screw you in advance to everyone who -2's me because they aren't smart enough to realize when they have an invisible ice-n-ninja star dildo ramming their asses. That is all. I'm going back into hibernation now.
F.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-11-10 10:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by 10c7c (user info) at 2004-11-09 23:15:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-09 22:33:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You also forgot to mention that both are cousins by blood, went to the same college, and belonged to the same fraternity.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-11-09 19:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't go!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-09 19:42:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"a giant invisible dildo made of ice and ninja stars pops out of the voting booth and screws you"
Ooh, how exciting! Is it a big one?
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2004-11-09 19:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well put.
"If there's a new way, I'll be the first in line...
...but it better work this time"