Uber "What the fucks??" Part THREE (1828 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.61 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Bella70.at.mindspring.com> (View user info) at 2003-10-03 14:34:02 EDT
...here's part III of my little hobby. I figured it was time to post it, as it is was getting really long, and I was rapidly tiring of endless bullshit regarding slutty teenagers and their T&A.
These are a few of my favorite responses to posts. For varying reasons.
Some because they made me think "Where the fuck did that come from?"
Some because they just made me cry laughing.
Some, like #3 by Uneducated, that I read over and over and over and still have to cover my eyes toward it's brilliance.
Some, like Loki's and Insanethemind's for their raw honesty.
And finally, the last one, by DJMatt, is something I will revisit when I'm feeling down and dark clouds hang above... eh.... please. It is my all time favorite to date though.
Here are the previous posts, they're still kinda fun to read through (at least for me, because I'm very simple-minded and easily entertained).
Part I: http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=105042936710376374
Part II: http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1052155538357118901
Enjoy...
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "The big fucking lie"
Submitted by: MickGinny
Response Submitted by: loki
"I have a North Face Sleeping bag made for ridiculously cold weather, the model name is catscradle."
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "The big fucking lie"
Submitted by: MickGinny
Response Submitted by: hendrixjrr
"I played hockey with this big fat fuck who was just as much a liar as Mick"
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Picture of my girl ... (face)"
Submitted by: AbeFroman
Response Submitted by: Uneducated
"I got mono from this chick once i was sick for 2 weeks strite. Know who you are fucking wrap your dick :S. "
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "I love you all, Übersite"
Submitted by: Hidden
Response Submitted by: LowSodiumMonkey
"I will paypal 20 bucks to you if you actually posted your own penis on Ubersite. "
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "A jew with a view bis"
Submitted by: Yidele
Response Submitted by: Loki
"I'd put this on my desktop today but it might spoil my pissy mood."
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Reservoir Dogs"
Submitted by: mrblonderd
Response Submitted by: Insanethemind
"Hey man, I have been arrested NUMEROUS times.... "
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Ah, the WTF of the day! "
Submitted by: Collin
Response Submitted by: Chicagogirl
"I could really use an enema right now. let me see if my supervisor will stick an ice cube in my ass.............. "
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Womb Raider."
Submitted by: Hair
Response Submitted by: Manfre
"My mom had me when she was 20. She was a dirty dirty whore."
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Proof that god doesnt exist "
Submitted by: PizzaEagle
Response Submitted by: lowsodiummonkey
"Loren - You need to tell Ed to take care of you tonight. You're really worked up today."
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Proof that god doesnt exist "
Submitted by: PizzaEagle
Response Submitted by: streetpunk
"Death Metal dude, are you a chronic crack smoker or were your parents also siblings? "
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "The nature of the world as I sit in a computer lab on a cold, crappy Friday"
Submitted by: Habeeb Thomas
Response Submitted by: Quartermain
"Solid blocks of text make the Baby Jesus cry. "
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Very Bored at Work"
Submitted by: Chicagogirl
Response Submitted by: streetpunk
"Chicagogirl, why? I am scared. Now I will go home and pull my wang for awhile."
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "NJ drivers suck"
Submitted by: PizzaEagle
Response Submitted by: apollo88
"This gave me a hard on."
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Proof that god doesnt exist"
Submitted by: PizzaEagle
Response Submitted by: SexualWhiteChocolate
"All this needed at the end was "P.S. I am 14 years old""
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Let me try this again"
Submitted by: theedge
Response Submitted by: tuesdaydelay
"Once. Twice. Three times, a dipshit. "
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Let me try this again"
Submitted by: theedge
Response Submitted by: Bart
"Even Snipa thinks you're an idiot. That should tell you something."
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "The Much Maligned Feminism"
Submitted by: SpikeGoddess
Response Submitted by: lowsodiummonkey
"Loren - I've actually eaten testicle before."
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Why I am a vicious asshole"
Submitted by: Zoid Berg
Response Submitted by: GoingBlue
"I would still fuck you. If you like it up the bum or not."
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Halloween Costumes"
Submitted by: Loren
Response Submitted by: Manfre
"...I went to a very slutty high school."
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Kristy Swan - Camwhoring Slut or Intelligent Piece of Ass? All this and more, tonight on Ubersite..."
Submitted by: Kristy Swan
Response Submitted by: SpikeGoddess
"Oh, and the technical name for the space between pussy and asshole?
The Perenium"
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Tell me what you think "
Submitted by: JoshTheRetard
Response Submitted by: Lisa
"I just think everyone should know that Matt has a poop fetish. "
--------------------------------------------
Title of Post: "Man Dies After Wife Crushes Testicles"
Submitted by: (ntangen.at.phioninc.com)
Response Submitted by: DJMattB241
"HAHAHAAHHA OWWWWWWW HAHAHAHA
HAHAOWWWHAHAHWHOWOWOOOWW HAHAHA"
--------------------------------------------
User Reviews
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-14 07:10:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not to step on your toes Loren, but, I just stumbled onto this one while browsing your old posts
Title: What do you see here?
Submitted by <Bella70.at.mindspring.com>
Response:Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-03-25 15:59:46 (#)
...maybe it's just a gynormous red snatch...
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-04-13 21:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man, I love "I Love the 80s," that show kicks ass man!
This was kinda disappointing though, maybe if Gilbert Godfrey had said, "WHAT THE FUCK?!?" at the end I would have been appeased.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-13 20:59:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yay I revived this thread
Loren the fans have spoken.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-13 20:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We need more of these, and those "Best of -2's"
Submitted by fivestrngsamurai (user info) at 2004-04-13 20:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Title of Post: "Things we have learned from movies"
Submitted by: Kristy Swan
Response Submitted by: downtime
"I didn't hear any mention of dogs, or bees. Or dogs that when they bark shoot bees out of their mouths."
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-04-13 19:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The great thing about posts like that is that you don't have to sieve through all the "die, dick-muncher" type ratings; you just get straight to the good stuff.
Ah, I am lazy.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-13 19:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
your*
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-13 18:55:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
C'mon Loren do more of these please.
If for no other reason than to please the girl who solved you bursting into flames mystery. :-)
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2004-04-13 18:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yea!
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-04-13 10:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Loren - I've actually eaten testicle before."
I still don't believe that I actually wrote that on the internet.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-13 10:13:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God, I love these. Please do more.
Thank you.
That is all.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-10-06 08:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahah, now that's the kind of thing i like to see on monday moprning
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-10-06 08:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ace.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-10-05 20:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
boobies.
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2003-10-03 19:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-10-03 18:14:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha im gonna make a link to all of my own pimped responses. and yes loren feel free to think about me however you wish whenever you shower. i dont mind. =)
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2003-10-03 17:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2003-10-03 16:28:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-10-03 16:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hehe Im on it twice =0)
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1065206132924529790
You in or out Loren? Purhaps I could be in and out repeatedly?
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-10-03 16:13:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-10-03 15:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bong, I can never please you, can I? ;-)
I will think about you the next time I'm in the shower if that makes you feel any better.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-10-03 15:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God that made me feel better. I feel like I don't even need to scroll through old posts to know who to mock anymore.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-10-03 15:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good list but ive been snubbed....AGAIN! dammit, im the red headed stepchild of uber.
-BongZilla
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-10-03 15:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes it is, and I do believe you are the first person to know that. Or anyways the first to write it where I saw it. I ran across Haggard when I was 13 and from there I found Kipling, and from there it was just a whole brave new world of books.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-10-03 15:14:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Death Metal Dude's a little touchy, eh?
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-10-03 15:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, here's one for part four.
I have this hemorrhoid and it's really bothering me today.
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2003-10-03 15:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Totally off-topic... and I apologize if it's been asked before. This query is directed at Quartermain:
What is the origin of your nickname? Is it based off of the "Allan Quatermain" of fame and myth? The quasi-fictional character that singlehandedly jump-started the whole "action hero" deal, and the one who Indiana Jones is based off of?
--JW
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-10-03 14:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA I need this today.
Submitted by Anjie (user info) at 2003-10-03 14:51:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tee hee hee hee...<g>
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-10-03 14:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so embarassed that someone is actually keeping track of what I say here.
MMMMMMMmmmmmmm.... testicle
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2003-10-03 14:44:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for the one about me. +2 for the rest.
And this should be on there:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106472114148345942#191237
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2003-10-03 14:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woo Matt!
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2003-10-03 14:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ah the good old ice cube enema.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-10-03 14:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 again!
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106516501120835213
thats the one i was referring to.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-10-03 14:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woohoo! A list that I'm on. My cup truly doeth runneth over.
Submitted by Kristyswan (user info) at 2003-10-03 14:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I know this is Loren1, and I know she hates me, and I know I didn't get a couple of the jokes because I don't know all the names of posters just yet, but some of them made me laugh out loud. Plus 1, but this doesn't mean we should be friends. ;)
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-10-03 14:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-10-03 14:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awww crap! haha
i said that cuz it made me laugh and hurt at the same time.
there is a similar response in the story about the puke at the water park.