A Rant (with nothing political in it, I promise) (637 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.47 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by calbearspolo (View user info) at 2004-11-10 13:48:06 EST
This is my 'people/things who piss me off' list:
"Jokes with everyone, weak drinking pouring bartender" Guy.
An easy target. You know him as "Chuck" or "Skip," or maybe "douchebag, " but he's the man who sits behind the rotting oak saw horse he calls a bar in the shack around the corner from your place. He flirts mercilessly with every female who comes in, with no discrimination between old, fat, or young and pretty. While he's busy trying to get the number of these skirts, your sapphire/tonic is more lime than gin.
"Doesn't know when it's her turn at the 4-way stop intersection driver" Lady.
It's not hard. If you were there before the other cars, you go first, and then those that pulled up sequentially will take there turn. Don't wave on the guy to your left who just got here after we've all been stopped for 10 seconds, he knows it's not his turn and you'll only confuse him. Better yet, don't go half-way through the intersection, freak-out, then stop and try to figure out what to do. If driving is to mentally taxing for you, go back home and sit in a dark room with ear-muffs on. The real-world might kill you.
"Overdone Matrix styled wire-fight scenes"
With these, it's especially the type where people talk about how "real" it seems. Last time I check, when a 5'4" computer geek punches a 6'4" professional body builder, the body builder does not fly five feet up and three hallways down and through a wine-rack, wooden door, and plate glass window only to get up and look really pissed. Forget the fact that if you hit someone that hard their head would be crushed like a rotting melon I backed over with my Bronco, I want to know why the computer geeks hand isn't MISSING OR BROKEN into 6 million pieces.
"PC Load Letter"
Fuck you. -2 DIE.
"Stuffed bra, club girl."
These are the girls who wear the new Victoria's Secret lacy padded bra that just came out this season (so it must be worth the $90 and make me popular and sexy) under their smooth, form-fitting club outfit. Now your boobs have bumps and ripples all over them looking like you stuffed your shirt with salad mix. Nice work.
"Cheering a little too loudly after one-too-many drinks, shouting advice from the third deck" Sports Fan.
Torre [or Francona] can't hear you, and furthermore he doesn't care what your opinion is on the pitching rotation. Rivera kicks ass enough without you shouting your long stream of drunken obscenities with all the kids present. Better yet, go to the sports bar down the street and scream at the television. That way, when your team is down in the 4th quarter, or 9th inning, or whatever, your verbal assault at 86 decibels from 3 feet away will be most effective.
"Reads-out-loud-on-the-train-despite-being-50-years-old" Guy.
You need to get un-hooked on phonics right, fucking, now.
"I only drink one particular brand of bottled water" People.
Nobody is that pretentious, are they? Oh wait, Linda from accounting (who weighs over 350 lbs. and sucks back snickers bars like it will encourage the second coming of Christ) only drink Fiji water. Other waters have minerals, or HIV, or... it doesn't matter, nothing is as good as "your" brand for $2.69 a litter. Never mind that you bitch and moan about the price you pay for gasoline, which is 4 times cheaper than your stuck-up hyper self-conscience novelty water that is from a faucet in Palm Springs and bottled by a guy named "Andy", you've got peanuts and caramel to devour.
"Neck-ties that are build for people who are 5'2" tall."
I am 6'4", is there NO ONE who will make a tie that comes down to my belt buckle without the tail being the size of a pen cap?
... More to come later.
User Reviews
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-11-10 15:17:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell it man, we all agree.
A resounding "Yeah! ... hate that!!"
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-11-10 15:07:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for hitting the nail on the head.
-1 for PC Load Letter. Why hate on Office Space? So what, office workers beat its quotes and catch-phrases to the ground. It doesn't mean the movie sucks. Just those people. Wait, what if you meant just those people. Then I'm the hat of an ass and I apologize.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:55:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that if I am waiting to go through an intersection until the road is clear so as not to cause grid lock and some asshat chooses that moment to turn right on red, I should be able to drag them out of their car and beat the shit out of them.
Also, if I am at an intersection and I can't get through because some asshat grid locked it, I should be able to drag them out of their car and beat the shit out of them.
Submitted by ardubs (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:50:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:34:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:06:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Neck-ties that are build for people who are 5'2" tall."
I am 6'4", is there NO ONE who will make a tie that comes down to my belt buckle without the tail being the size of a pen cap?
Can I get a Witness?! Hallelujah and Amen! Preach on Brotha Polo!
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:26:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not big on swearing in public unless it is late and I am drunk. There are also not usually scores of children running around outside bars at 4am, unless I am babysitting. It seems like you were implying that screaming at Rivera in the 9th when you are three outs from a Wrold Series is somehow wrong because of the children. That is bullshit.
Submitted by dawItsPete (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:26:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"Cheering a little too loudly after one-too-many drinks, shouting advice from the third deck" Sports Fan.
Torre [or Francona] can't hear you, and furthermore he doesn't care what your opinion is on the pitching rotation. Rivera kicks ass enough without you shouting your long stream of drunken obscenities with all the kids present. Better yet, go to the sports bar down the street and scream at the television. That way, when your team is down in the 4th quarter, or 9th inning, or whatever, your verbal assault at 86 decibels from 3 feet away will be most effective.
----------------
Yes I have been thrown out of Fenway for being that guy.
PS - Yankees lost... (suck)
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:23:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't have kids Bill, so calm down. And if you truly think that one bit about not swearing in public demolished the integrity of the entire post, of course you are allowed to post whatever score you like.
While my view of using profanity in a public setting maybe one way, I am not saying "Hey Brendan, don't swear in public." Understand the difference.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Stuffed bra club girl. +2 for that bitch!
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:16:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
How many of yours have I rated? I don't rate everything on Uber and I rate objectively. I don't get obnoxious at a movie theatre even thought I pay because that isn't the place. Ralph Wilson Stadium on a Sunday is though. If I yell curse words like a drunken sailor and your kid hears me, tough shit. Do your job as a parent and explain to them why this wrong or whatever.
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:12:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bill, I don't think you've ever given a post of mine anything but -2s. I would expect no less.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:08:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"Cheering a little too loudly after one-too-many drinks, shouting advice from the third deck" Sports Fan.
Torre [or Francona] can't hear you, and furthermore he doesn't care what your opinion is on the pitching rotation. Rivera kicks ass enough without you shouting your long stream of drunken obscenities with all the kids present. Better yet, go to the sports bar down the street and scream at the television. That way, when your team is down in the 4th quarter, or 9th inning, or whatever, your verbal assault at 86 decibels from 3 feet away will be most effective.
----------------
Was a +2 until this. If I pay to go to the game and yell like a drunken asshole, guess what I will. There is a place for children to watch the game it's called home or perhaps on fucking kid day or whatever.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:07:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I concur.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:06:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Neck-ties that are build for people who are 5'2" tall."
I am 6'4", is there NO ONE who will make a tie that comes down to my belt buckle without the tail being the size of a pen cap?
Can I get a Witness?! Hallelujah and Amen! Preach on Brotha Polo!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:00:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rant on, Ranty McRanterson!
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2004-11-10 13:58:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i hate stupid ass people at four way stops
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-11-10 13:55:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hurray for rants!