Asian Sex Dwarf in My Closet (9372 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.5 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bird's Nest Zen Master (View user info) at 2004-11-10 13:56:20 EST
Today I was feeling a little romantic, so I went out to purchase some roses from my local gay florist. Local gay florst has some strange sexual preferences, which he is all-too inclined to "fill me" in on.
You see, LGF is a sadomasochist. Of the dirtiest kind. He has been researching hemorrhoids with the purpose of self infliction. He says that a nasty case of hemorrhoids on the ol' fudge cave provides for extremely painful/pleasurable pounding, depending on how you look at it.
LGF: "You see, silly, I like it really raunchy. I want to see blood, some puss if at all possible."
Perplexed by this information, I returned home to de-petal my roses. I strewed the rose petals all over my bed, and left the room to wait.
I thought to myself , "This will be a nice surprise!" and I clapped my hands with childish anticipation.
About ten minutes later, I went back into my bedroom. Upon seeing the rose petals on my bed I squealed like a little girl discovering her brand new pony.
"How Romantic! That is so sweet of you!" I said.
I stripped off my clothes and let myself fall back onto the rosy bed, sending petals flying into the air, only to rain back down upon my naked tummy.
Looking down, I saw my 2 belly buttons. The real one, the inny, and the other one where my penis is supposed to be, the outy.
"Mmmmm, you naughty thing! You are gonna get it good!" I said. With that I folded myself over frontways, inserting my outy into my inny and started grinding away, my mind sailing away on a sea of belly button bumping bliss.
I was really grinding away when a sound from my closet stopped me short. It was a giggling sound.
I sat up to get a better look, when a tiny from sprang upon me from the closet, and with some unnatural strength pushed me onto my back.
It was an Asian Sex Dwarf. About 3' tall, long black hair, and wearing nothing but panties.
"OHIO!" she exclaimed with a huge grin. She jumped up and started dancing a mystical dance.
"O-HI-O! O-HI-O!" she chanted, now marching around in her panties.
I suddenly felt extremely weak, and couldn't find the strength to sit up, or even lift my arms.
In a flash, she was back upon me, crawling all over my body in a Gollum-esque fashion, sniffing and exploring. Lifting one arm, to sniff my armpit, then the other, behind my head and down my back.
She stopped at my cornhole, sniffing furiously, and then stuck her index finger inside. She looked up and nodded to herself, as if to say, "Yup, everything is in order here."
Then her head popped out from between my legs.
"OOooooooooo!" staring down at my outy, then up at me with a big grin "De-lish-isss!"
She maneuvered herself around so that she was squatting over me, her ass in my face, and she was fingering my inny. She was wearing blue and white panties with clovers on them.
She started to softly bang her panties-covered booty on my face while rhythmically chanting, "masturbate-me-with-your-nose, masturbate-me-with-your-nose, masturbate-me-with-your-nose."
I started laughing hysterically. I felt so weak, I couldn't even imagine moving.
So I lay there. I lay there helplessly,laughing like a lunatic, being molested by an Asian Sex Dwarf from my closet.
She then hopped onto the floor in front of me, and turned her back to me. She craned her head around to look at me, and started shaking her clover-pantied booty in my face.
ASD: "I'm so lu-cky! I'm so lu-cky! Clover pan-ties! Clover pan-ties! YAAAYYYY!"
And with that, she leapt back into my closet and disappeared.
User Reviews
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-05-19 16:42:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sweet! thanks for the feedback.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-05-19 16:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
These stories are well over-rated anyway.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-11 22:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OHIO!
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-10 23:16:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, no shrooms. No household cleaners either. I wrote this at work on a super coffee buzz.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-10 20:10:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Asian Sex Dwarf not for sale.
Submitted by Shizae (user info) at 2004-11-10 19:20:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was completely random...
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2004-11-10 19:05:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where can you purchase on of these Asian Sex Dwarfs?
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-11-10 18:45:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-11-10 18:39:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Odd.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-11-10 18:25:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Disturbing.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-10 16:14:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
100% I say!
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:48:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Gollum-esque? Hmmmmm...that's a bit of a stretch, but I'll bite. Nice descriptive words.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:39:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want some of whatever it is you're on.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:13:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is 100% true.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:12:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-10 14:05:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'shroom much?
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-11-10 13:59:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
don't drink the stuff under the sink!