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...And I hope I offend you too (562 hits)

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Rating: -1 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
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Submitted by eXkal (View user info) at 2004-11-10 20:20:55 EST


Today, the world, well just America... more or less the South, has been so up tight about the Bible and all it's glorious teachings.

But one subject tends to bother myself the most... why Satan?

Really, why is he the scapegoat? We fuck up and he is blamed. Somehow this system has uniquely come through and recycled itself. The God Almighty grants humans the aspect of free choice, and then we use that freedom... and screw it up. Obviously the Father can't let sinful and imperfect children into his perfect paradise, and he realized that Hell is the hopping joint and pack full of fresh souls. "Got to change that!" speaks the Father. So he sends his son to die for our sins so we can be saved. Well that's dandy, now we can fuck up as much as we want and Jesus will carry our sins for us. But we can't blame the Omni-presence. No... no, no, no. Satan did it.

We also have to blame him for things such as, oh I don't know, killing people. Maybe, it's the South, maybe it's Christianity in particular. I would have sworn God was in charge of everything. Last I checked God controlled everything and not Satan. Wouldn't God be killing people. I understand he probably didn't kill people directly and intentionally in Vietnam; people kill people. But how do you explain cancer? I would seriously like to know who or what did Satan kill? Name one person or thing. I never read anything about him killing someone in the Bible. I think a page might have gotten stuck together.

But seriously, what did Lucifer do that was so bad? All he did was make someone eat an apple. Really, isn't the apple supposed to be good for you. But somehow Adam and Eve died. I actually remember them leaving a pretty garden. And then Adam lived for another 900 years. That apple had to of done him a lot of good. That or the garden was actually poisoned.

Adam and Eve were going to eat from the tree eventually. Come on, you tell a kid this is the most delicious cake in the world. The kid is going to try it.

I think all the fruit really did is make them realize they were naked. I mean, if I were walking around naked, I want someone to tell me. But that is appearantly a bad thing.

And I think we have lost sight of who really is in trouble here. Lucifer was kicked out of Heaven and sent to Hell. Yeh, appearantly the one in constant and eternal tourture and locked up in Hell is out wandering the planet trying to get everyone in some sort of trouble. Or killing people.

By the way someone please explain this to me. When the hell are all the Jews going to die? We've been trying to kill them off since, I don't, since the B.C.s. The Pagans failed, the Egyptians lost them to a hobo, Hitler couldn't get it right either, and the Palastinians can't seem to figure out how to exterminate them either.

And one more thing. Why is Christianity the preferred religion anyway? I mean, Pagan religions have so much blood on their hands. They sacrificed virgins and prisoners, they burned their gold and crops, slaughtered animals and livestock in glory of their gods to keep the earth revolving. The Jews used to sacrifice a while back. Hell, they even sold animals (and probably virgins) to sacrifice... in the temples, and God was cool with that. The Indians sacrificed their crops and livestock to the gods and spirits for good harvest seasons and such. And what do the Christians have? One fucking martyr.

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User Reviews


Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-11 02:23:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

no.

Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-11-10 20:47:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1

(God doesn't exist, therefore this post shouldn't, either)

Submitted by thorpe87 (user info) at 2004-11-10 20:36:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Speaking as a profound agnostic, go die.

Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2004-11-10 20:34:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Didn't offend me...but it did make me smile a little


Oh, cruel fate. Why do you mock me?

-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Daredevil