If you ever need to quit (630 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.4 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by zombieZero (View user info) at 2004-11-11 12:33:56 EST
To whom it may concern,
This letter is to inform you of my resignation, effective immediately. I am not giving two weeks notice, nor one week, nor even one day; by the time you read this I will be safely far away from you, your moronic, micromanaging lackeys, and the stinking, putrid hellhole you all call your place of work. To say that working for you has been a bad experience is to give undue credit to the word 'bad', so let me instead say that I've rated working for you somewhere between having my short-hairs caught in an immersion blender and falling face-first into a well full of starving, rabid badgers. Your management team are unethical and sadistic, you are dull-witted and unhygenic, the VPs are clueless, flatulent, and morbidly obese, and the CEO is a plundering pirate who, drunk on his own wealth and power, would gladly farm every last one of your jobs out to indentured Siberian child slave laborors as long as he could pay for his trophy wife's breast augmentation. The entire company is nothing but a huge, mismanaged behemoth which, fatally wounded by you and your cronies' ineffective policies and shameless thievery, moves forward only with the inertia of a felled rhino who has not yet realized the final shot has been dealt. I wish you and yours a miserable day, an even more miserable holiday, and, should there be any justice at all in this existence, long and miserable jail sentences under the very worst conditions imaginable.
Sincerely,
------------------------(your name here)
User Reviews
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-11 20:35:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice!
Submitted by NYCRulz (user info) at 2004-11-11 14:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Im saving this for when I need it, and the more and more I hear horror stories from the American working world, the better this letter seems fit to be a little going away present. +2 and an extra gold star for you.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-11 13:52:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by zombieZero (user info) at 2004-11-11 13:32:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't confuse my job with yours
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Heehhe... Now THAT'S funny, but a paper route is not really a job, junior.
Submitted by zombieZero (user info) at 2004-11-11 13:32:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-11 13:16:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think you need to do this at Burger king buddy...maybe your next job though.
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Don't confuse my job with yours
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-11 13:16:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think you need to do this at Burger king buddy...maybe your next job though.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-11-11 12:57:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A better way to quit would be to throw a computer out of a first floor window, scream "THE NIGGERS AND JEWS ARE TAKING OVER!" and jump out the window.
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-11-11 12:47:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks, couldnt have had better timing