Welcome to the Pepsi Generation, honky (461 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.57 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Drone of Industry (View user info) at 2004-11-12 12:41:51 EST
YOU HAVE GOT TO WATCH OUT! No joke. There are people out there that like to show off their cellphones, cameras, ipods, or cellphone camera ipods, whatever it might be. You think they're ordinary civilians, but THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK! They are, in fact, conniving salesmen disguised in normal street clothes, and they are EVERYWHERE... once average humans now turned to minions of merchandising. They were bought out by mongoloid corporations in order to sell the company's sleazy products. Deceptive, huh? You know that beautiful yuppie couple that wanted you to take their picture with that Kodak digicam... TRAITORS OF HUMANITY!!! You know those kids that were raving in the American Online chatrooms about the Catwoman movie... TRAITORS OF HUMANITY!!! Yes... no one is safe from ABSOLUTE ANNIHLATION OF THE HUMAN SOUL!!!
But do not be afraid. We are the true rogue warriors for the human's being. On a conquest for everything that is honest to goodness. May you push forward into the future wrapped in aluminum foil, so as to make you red hot and sterilized, completely pure, to penetrate the earth's atmosphere in an exploding fireball of glory. Your sacrifice will be a flare across the sky to communicate the beginning of a new revolution. It will be titled The Great Illumination. And history will finally close it's tired eyes to forever dream, to forever revel in its glorius triumph, absolutely mesmorized by its own simple nature and the overpowering truth of KNOWING "The Complete Answer". What is that answer? You will not know my freind until you take that step! That one baby step into the direction of the revolution. I envy you. I envy this opportunity you have... to become the savior of all (wo)mankind.
And I would hate to see you take that step without sporting comfortable footwear! You know, you'll be runnin from big apocolyptic monsters, sci fi society clone people in business suits, hypno zombies... Who knows what! So I recommend you get a new pair of stealthy running shoes TODAY. What better time is it than RIGHT NOW. Don't let the revolution pass you by. Just go to www.revolutioneyes.biz for the hippest styles of the new tomorrow.
So what will it be? What is YOUR choice: Monotony or INFAMY!
See you at the revolution... dot biz that is!
User Reviews
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-01-25 19:17:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Drone_of_Industry (user info) at 2004-11-12 19:04:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
From USA to DAM, Notorious is representin'
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-12 16:36:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
madness
Submitted by ETS (user info) at 2004-11-12 16:25:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA!!! I didn't see the commercial coming... I fell right under the spell, and just when I thought it was safe to let my guard down and accept the message, the message accepted me, and then I felt the uncontrollable need to purchase footwear.
Let the revolution begin!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-12 13:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now, my shit, I'll take the Pepsi challenge with that Amsterdam shit, any day of the fuckin' week.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-11-12 12:57:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
liar. that webpage doesn't exist. i need help being trendy. now if you're done, i've got some Genesis to listen to.
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-11-12 12:50:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-11-12 12:45:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I've truly seen better.