This is for CBG, GLALL, and Tinactin! Ubercon LA! (1201 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.69 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by munkeypants (View user info) at 2004-11-12 13:41:25 EST
Okay okay. Everything about Ubercon Los Angeles is 100% true!
How do I know?
Well I have been stalking Tinactin for some time now. I have tapped his phone lines and
picked through his trash.( Which, by the way, is how I discovered he wears Care Bears underoos).
I have also found a way to record his instant message conversations and have them sent to
my hotmail adress. (I shit you not!)
I discovered their little plot of getting together in Los Angeles. And I formulated a plan.
I visited my make up artist friend from Hollywood. His/her name is Pat and she is the best
there is! He/she deserves some mad shout outs up in here!
Anyway....
You know that taxi driver that drove you to the beef jerky factory? The one who spoke
no english and smelled like cabbage? The one who video taped you three licking
each others earlobes? The one who declined Tinactin's offer of a "roman helmet"?
That was me.
You know the strange man in the plaid and polka dotted tie and greased back hair who welcomed you to
the NAMBLA meeting as you walked in? The one who gave you all free condoms which you then
blew up and had pretend sword fights while thrusting your pelvises (pelvi?) towards each other?
That was me.
You know the stripper? The one you tried to swipe your credit card down her ass crack?
The very same one who rose that mechanical bull nekkid then puked all over
the members of Hootie and the Blowfish?
That was me. (and you just turned me on to a new and kinky... nevermind)
Yes. I became the Mistress of Disguise. And you guys never had a clue.
And If it doesn't bother you I would like to share this with ubersite:
CBG is really 4 feet tall.... but his package is huge. He also wears Mork rainbow suspenders.
And if you tickle his fanny he screams like a little girl. I know this because Tinactin couldn't
keep his hands off the poor little guy.
Tinactin is... I'd do him. In the pooper. Well, maybe if he didn't look sixy.
GLALL is odd. He wears a trenchcoat and sunglasses at night. Indoors. Naked underneath.
He wears a shriner's fez hat and smokes big huge cigars. He wears a fake groucho marx moustache
which he twirls between his thumb and forefinger as he sips his Zima and comtemplates
his surroundings.
Well, I do have to thank you three for the good time I had in Los Angeles. I made quite a bit
of dough doing the cabbie and stripper shindigs. And I found out that when you run your card
down my ass crack I can actually give you change! Who'da thunk it?
That'll be cool when I show all of my friends and family my new trick! And I can tell them
I learned it all from people on the internet!
Let me know when you get together again! I have coupons for Joe and Sam's House of Love!
oh, and I took this picture right after they went in. They came out looking disapponited.
Sorry guys... it's just a liquor store!
User Reviews
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-02 04:21:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like a party I should definitely have been at.
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-11-23 16:04:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
boring
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-14 15:57:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think we're soul mates.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-14 15:37:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-12 20:10:45 (#)
Ranking: 1
I swear to God that I have more than 30 Credit Cards. Can I swipe just HALF OF THEM down your ass crack?
Pretty please?
------------------------------------
absolutely!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-12 20:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-12 20:10:45 (#)
Ranking: 1
I swear to God that I have more than 30 Credit Cards. Can I swipe just HALF OF THEM down your ass crack?
Pretty please?
---
You would stick a credit card where your tongue should be.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-12 20:10:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I swear to God that I have more than 30 Credit Cards. Can I swipe just HALF OF THEM down your ass crack?
Pretty please?
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-11-12 16:20:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
viva la revolution!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-12 15:41:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
terrible. -2.
and by terrible, i mean moderately amusing, and by - i mean +.
i agree...thanks tough actin, cbg, and glall...you fuckasses crack me up.
hip hip....horray
Submitted by ToxicNarcotic (user info) at 2004-11-12 15:40:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for life
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-12 15:24:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mork rainbow suspenders...haha...
Bizarre stuff is very amusing.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-12 15:24:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yes, why yes it was.
why did i just +2 myself?
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-11-12 15:19:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait was that you, digging around in my pants?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-12 15:19:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jebus Lee. I counted many mispellings on yours. Did spell check let you down too?
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-11-12 15:16:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-12 13:48:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
spell check has fooled me!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-11-12 15:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For care bears underoos.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-11-12 14:39:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
plus mothafuckin' two
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-11-12 14:31:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bunghole lickers. koaa.
how's that haircut coming?
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2004-11-12 14:29:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-12 08:18:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is that.... is that a dude???
So when are you inviting me to umass??
----------------------------------------------------------------
Anytime you want, my dear. *wink*
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-12 13:48:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew that I could detect another uber presence! The cabbage threw me off your trail though...
And what's this shit about a 4.99 service charge for using your ass crack with my credit card? Are you a fucking ATM or something???
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-12 13:48:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Bunghole Liquors.
Leave it to Mike Judge to turn a seemingly innocent word, like 'bunghole,' into derogatory slang.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-12 13:48:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
spell check has fooled me!
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-11-12 13:47:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment