Ubercon L.A.: Tinactin CBG GLALL And The Truth (988 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.43 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by StabKill (View user info) at 2004-11-12 15:01:09 EST
"Welcome to LAX, you fucker." Tinactin greeted GBG as he got off his plane.
"Customs harassed the hell out of me." GBG complained back while buttoning his pants back up.
"What the fuck? Hell, I don't want to know." Tinactin replied. They walked over to where they would be picking up GLALL a few moments later.
"Hey everyone!" Tinactin announced upon seeing GLALL. "This guy is from Ohio!"
The locals scowled and shouted vulgarities at the poor fellow. Someone had even tossed a piece of fruit at him.
GLALL brushed it off. He was happy the weather was much better than his home state.
"What are we going to do?" CBG questioned as the trio walked to Tinactin's car which was in the short term parking lot.
"We're gonna have fun." Tinactin said. "Welcome to L.A., my friends."
With a hit of a remote switch a car in the parking lot sparked to life as a hydraulics system lifted the 1987 Olds Cutlass into the air. It had a blue paint job and had multi-spoked rims on it.
"Whaaaa?" GLALL stood in amazement. "What the fuck is this?"
"This is my ride. Hop in." Tinactin proudly opened the trunk where there was no space for luggage. The space was consumed by 15 inch subwoofers and multiple amplifiers. "Put yo' shit in the back."
"I just didn't expect this from you." GBG said as he squeezed himself into the back seat along with his luggage. GLALL sat in the passenger seat with his bag resting on his lap.
They drove to Tinactin's home in Watts where they dropped off the luggage and piled back into the car.
"Here, you'll need this." Tinactin handed CBG a Tech-9 automatic weapon. "GLALL, you take the sawed-off."
"What?" GLALL answered back in shock. "I'm going to be arrested, man."
"No. Wear that pimpin' full length leather jacket back there. Make sure you keep it under wraps, you know? We need to knock over this liquor store down the street."
GLALL noticed a car parked outside in the street with a woman inside. She seemed to be staring at them. "Hey Tinactin, I think some chick is out there watching us."
"Yeah." Tinactin replied. "That's munkeypants. She's a pycho bitch. You know, I hit that shit once yo' and she just won't leave."
GLALL and GBG stared blankly back at Tinactin. This "ubercon" was not what they had expected and Tinactin's behavior came as quite a shock.
Moments later they were robbing a liquor store.
"Fuck it, I'll play." CBG chimed in while he pointed his tech-9 at the store clerk. "We can't do this shit in Canada so I might as well take advantage of this."
He then fired a clip at point blank range into the face of the poor Korean standing behind the counter.
"You asshole! Now they'll close this shop and I can't rob it next week." Tinactin angrily shouted back.
"Let's go before the cops get here." GLALL shouted.
They picked up two Mexican prostitutes on the way home, invited in munkeypants and drank 40's all weekend long.
When CBG returned to Toronto he wore baggy jeans, a white "wife beater" t-shirt and a plaid shirt with only the top button secured. His hair was slicked back and he had on wrap-around black shades. A tear drop tattoo was sported on his face and he had a "Ü" tattoo on the back his hand in between his thumb and index finger.
GLALL now smoked blunts out in the open. Walking down the street with a full-length leather jacket he was now flanked by two skanky mexican whores. His wide-brim hat could be seen for blocks down the road. His new saying was "God loves a little lovin', but with the right price one of my bitches can provide you with the same."
An ubercon can change your life, people. You have been warned.
User Reviews
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-12 20:35:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-11 23:59:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
Check your email and submit that story that you killed a young child, Eric.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-10 22:06:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.recordonline.com/archive/2004/01/18/brf475.htm
Apparently the wrong Eric Rice died. Your obituary will probably be not so nice and not so accidental.
"Eric Rice was gunned down in a parking lot."
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-10 22:09:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey Eric, I have a rather large list of odu.edu email addresses. What do you want me to tell them for you? They'll think it came from erice004.at.odu.edu so don't worry you will get all the angry replies.
Maybe I should let you "confess" to everyone on that list how you enjoy having homosexual sex with some of the well known instructors there on campus.
Don't worry, I'll make sure it is interesting and causes you to get notified quickly.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-12 16:16:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-12 16:04:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Munkey already did it! What a whore!
here's some extra heat for ya then!
------------------------------
does the universal "jacking off" sign
<holds hand in a fist and thrusts it towards the pelvis, then away from the pelvis,
multiple times and in jerky movements>
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-11-12 16:11:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GBG WOOOOOOOO!!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-12 16:04:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Munkey already did it! What a whore!
here's some extra heat for ya then!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-12 16:01:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I gotta link you and munkeypants to my post so everyone can see through our veil of lies!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-11-12 16:00:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA! Now everyone knows the truth! Stabkill is such the rOxOr!!
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-11-12 15:23:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT'S NOT HOW IT HAPPENED, ASSHOLE
Eh...ok, maybe
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-12 15:18:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA
awesome!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-11-12 15:13:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
though i think i'm now at my limit of these stories
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-11-12 15:07:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
will the fun never end?
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-12 15:03:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
CBG http://www.ubersite.com/m/51342
Tinactin http://www.ubersite.com/m/51343
GLALL http://www.ubersite.com/m/51341
Munkeypants http://www.ubersite.com/m/51365