I'm never going to a Brazilian rock concert again... (797 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.4 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Feijuada (View user info) at 2004-11-13 15:45:14 EST
This is kind of long. Just letting you know...
As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am half Brazilian and I often go to Brazil for extended periods of time. I have a half brother there by the name Julian (in English, in Portuguese it's some long misshapen string of Roman letters). He likes Brazilian rock, naturally. I don't because It's too pop-y for my taste (Sepultura, of course, is Metal and very good metal at that) but he had tickets to a concert and I went because it was free.
The drive there wasn't too bad. We got there, bought a hot dog, and waited for everyone to show up. Since I don't speak a lot of Portuguese, I didn't know that the other group was late, but I realized it when they didn't show up after an hour. Fortunately, they came just as the concert was starting.
We walked in. It was some kind of sports arena or something, except that the arena itself was too small to have a basketball or soccer game in. In fact, the only thing you could do in there was run in circles or fight to the death in a gladiatorial match. The seats that overlooked the arena were busted concrete, and the guardrails looked wobbly, barely suitable for protecting someone from a nine foot drop. Beer was served. Temporary bars had been set up throughout the place.
When the music started playing, I wasn't expecting much, and not much was what I got. They also used strobe lights and those swiveling colorful lights that always shined directly in my eyes. Nonetheless, I was happy because the prospect of a fight in the mosh pit. Well, I was assuming there would be a mosh pit. Instead what I got was a cluster of people standing near the stage.
I was crushed. I had assumed that Brazilian people would go insane at the concert and that a violent mob would form. Instead, I got shitty pop. Disillusioned, I headed to the bathroom to tinkle.
I found the bathroom. Those of you who go to violent concerts all have a bathroom story. This is mine. Nothing violent happened in the bathroom, but I will remember it forever. Walking in, I noticed that there were no lights. Someone had smashed them. The building was all concrete, so the only light coming in was through the doorway. There was a kind of main bathroom, with doors leading off to the girls and boys room. All the doors were missing.
The floor had a lot of water on it, so much that it splashed my legs, and there were no drainage holes, so it wasn't going anywhere. I slogged on, blind because my eyes hadn't adjusted to the dark. Finally it did, and I noticed a lot of people standing near the walls. Puzzled, I shrugged it off and walked into what I assumed was the boy's bathroom.
The first thing I saw in the faint light was another man at the urinal. I walked by him into the only stall, a large handicap-friendly one. There was not one but two men pissing at different spots on the wall in the stall. I stumbled bach, horrified. I saw that the other man in the bathroom was not standing at the urinal after all. There was no urinal.
In the main bathroom, I finally saw that all the men were not just standing around for no reason in a lightless bathroom, but were all pissing on the walls! I would normally have no problem with this, but there were about fifteen guys (this was a large bathroom) doing this. Then I realized something. I hadn't heard a sink working. They probably didn't work. Then where did all the water come from?
It slowly dawned on me. It hadn't been water splashing on my legs for the past couple minutes. The puddles were so deep that they had splashed all over my legs. Oh... my... god... I hightailed it out of the bathroom, both screaming and laughing.
After that high point, the concert spiraled down into extreme boredom. Not a single fight. What the fuck was everybody doing, listening ot the fucking music?! There were beer bottles and cans everywhere, but not a single hilarious drunk or a single guy passed out on the follr getting punched. Fucking lame.
When the band finished, I breathed a sigh of relif. Finally, it was over. Stage hands were packing the instruments up. But wait! The band came out, made the stage hands unpack eeverything, and they played a three-song encore. I was bored out of my mind. When they finished for real, everyone headed out.
It was at this point that I saw a glimmer of hope. A Brazilian police squad was coming into the stadium. Most had riot gear on, gas masks and everything, but the captian in the center was dressed up like a general leading his troops. I tailed them, hoping someone wanted to start trouble with the Brazilian police. The police went to a corner and fortified themselves there with the riot shields. Nothing happened. FUCK!
All in all, it was one of the worst things that could have happened. The worst thing was, the car wouldn't start and all five of us had to cram into a taxi with another two people in it... that's right EIGHT PEOPLE in a taxi (counting the driver). We came home at 5 AM. What a waste of time...
User Reviews
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-09-13 02:12:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-08 19:12:27 (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmm, I disagree with you about brazilian rock being too "pop-y".
Perhaps you have heard of O 'Rappa, as an example? If not, check them out, they rock. I saw them in Rio in feb 2003.
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This is old, but I'll respond anyway.
Fuck O 'Rappa. They make me vomit. My dad likes them, and the songs used to get stuck in my head for days.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-08 19:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmm, I disagree with you about brazilian rock being too "pop-y".
Perhaps you have heard of O 'Rappa, as an example? If not, check them out, they rock. I saw them in Rio in feb 2003.
Submitted by Wuzi (user info) at 2004-11-24 22:58:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was bored until the flood of piss, that was funny.
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-22 00:04:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-22 00:04:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-11-21 18:49:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it.
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Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-11-21 18:49:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate it.
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You get a plus two on you're latest post.
I don't know why I liked this so much...
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Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-13 16:05:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No humorous drunks? No pissed up townies to laugh at? Not even a good fight to point and stare at?
Fucking waste of makeup.
Submitted by Xile (user info) at 2004-11-13 16:03:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
reminds me of reading, anywhere you couldnt be seen from one direction, you pissed.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-13 15:49:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
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