True Episode of a Teenage Sex Drive, or Why Barbizon is now Synonymous with Awkward (753 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.06 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mike <mike.elias17.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-13 19:59:24 EST
Well, today my mom invited me to come out into the world while she and Beeve shopped. Near their toystore destination was a Barbizon modeling school and agency. I was on my own for the most part, so I figured "what the hell," and swaggered on inside.
The receptionist girl (early 20s) had one of those formal plastic propped-up name things on her desk, hers saying "Director of First Impressions". Cute. Anyway, I basically told her I was there cause I wanted to "try to make a little money with this pretty face o' mine." She got on her phone and summoned the head guy in charge of male modeling, and we made small talk while we waited for him. He finally arrived, and I was literally startled at how damn....GROOMED....he was. He extended his hand and I shook it. Then I made a weird face in my mind as I noticed it was slick with lotion.
He led me to his office. There were some dolled-up girls in the hallway. "Ok good, at least they have some in stock," I thought. "I have no goddamn plan, but let's see what happens." We arrived at his office and I plopped down on a fashion couch thing across from his desk. He closed the door. He wanted to know, quite obviously, what I was there for and what 'direction' I was seeking in the field of modeling. I didnt have much to say, so I barfed my unprepared reply onto his desk in the form of, "Honestly, I came here to meet beautiful women."
He sat there for a second, his "dreamy" blue eyes indicating that he didn't quite expect such an answer. As professionally as he could muster, he said matter-of-factly, "We can't have you here for...that reason. There are dating servicesblahblahblah How old are you?"
I told him the truth. "Fifteen."
He sat there for a second, his "dreamy" blue eyes indicating that he didn't quite expect such an answer. We stood up as I prepared to leave, working as calmly as possible to diffuse the awkwardness of this event. He assured me he wasn't offended by my objective. "We just can't have you here," he said
I stepped out into the hallway full of dolled-up girls.
"...for the purpose of STALKING WOMEN."
ow.
I strode as calmly as I could down the hallway and out the door, for some reason feeling as if I weighed 300lbs.
_________________________________________________
I proceeded to post the episode on a public livejournal and laugh my ass off.
:D
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User Reviews
Submitted by TheRocketeer (user info) at 2004-11-14 20:12:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Feijuada: Good idea. I'll put a little James Bond accent into it too. :D Next time, baby!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-11-13 21:39:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My sister was a Barbizon model. She quit though because she, in fact, hates models. Go figure.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-11-13 21:12:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
not too bad.
too short though.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-11-13 21:03:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have said "Well, not MEET them, just have random sex with them. And get paid".
Submitted by 10c7c (user info) at 2004-11-13 21:02:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lolz
Submitted by TheRocketeer (user info) at 2004-11-13 20:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
'I like the cut of your jib.'
Thanks, I think.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-11-13 20:35:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Arafat.of.the.land (user info) at 2004-11-13 20:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
'Arafat: What can I say? It happened today, and you know how us suburban highschoolers dont have much gun access.'
True shit. I like the cut of your jib.
Submitted by TheRocketeer (user info) at 2004-11-13 20:17:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Arafat: What can I say? It happened today, and you know how us suburban highschoolers dont have much gun access.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-11-13 20:09:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You weren't gay enough. Or maybe too gay. I donno.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-13 20:04:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stalking women?! You and Eric Rice have alot in common. Only he doesn't limit his stalking to only women. Eric Rice is a real character! (If you call child molesting character).
Submitted by Arafat.of.the.land (user info) at 2004-11-13 20:03:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I quite liked that story. Lacked guns though