The Funniest Thing I've Seen In A While (691 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.77 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sarcasticus (View user info) at 2004-11-15 12:01:17 EST
I've gotta start off with a bit of a back story in order to provide some context, so bear with me.
In 1997 I got a new kidney. It's schweet. At least 47 times better than my old crappy kidney. In any case, all the doctors were so amazed at my wonderful new kidney that they demanded to see it and test it every 3 months.
(Now that I think of it, that's a pretty lame backstory.)
Anyhoo, today happened to be appointment day. So I put on my noseplugs (since all hospitals smell like human urine & disinfectant) and prepare to brave the ordeal. There's two steps to the checkup.
Step 1, talk to the doctor. Step 2, get blood taken & "expel some urine"
So Step 1 goes off without a hitch. All my doctors love me and tell me I'm great.
Step 2. I go sit down in the chair to give blood and start flirting with the hot nurse. This is rendered somewhat uneffective since she's holding the bottles that will momentarily contain my urine. Anyhoo, after she sticks me and take a couple pints, I grab the pee bottles and head for the can.
Plodding along, I shut the door and make sure it's locked. On the back of the door is a new sign. A sign that had not been there the last time I was there. (Aside: What terrible sentence structure. Giving all that blood must've made me loopy.) So, before I go to pee, my inquisitive nature takes over and I read the sign.
I'm sure if you were in the waiting room, you would've been embarassed to hear howls of laughter emanating from the bathroom. What could possibly be so funny? Maybe it was the demented laughter of the insane that like to wander the halls.
But no. This was the sound of pure hilarity. Unintentionally, the hospital staff had created the funniest sign ever seen. That sign said the following:
"To all patients. When giving urine samples, please make sure the lids are FIRMLY CLOSED on the bottles. Thank you for you patience."
I made sure my caps were very loose...
User Reviews
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-11-17 17:43:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
the style is ok but other than that, this is crap
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-15 14:05:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You think thats funny?
The hospital gives you a new kidney.
The hospital gives you aftercare.
The hospital makes sure that everything is ok.
.....
.....
You make sure they spill your piss over the nurses...
I hope the donor is turning in the grave.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-11-15 13:48:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-11-15 13:23:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Valiant effort.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-15 13:02:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That's why you only have imaginary friends.
Submitted by Sarcasticus (user info) at 2004-11-15 12:44:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought it was pretty obvious, but apparantly no one's getting it.
The reason they had to add the sign is because some lazy (or crazy (or old)) person didn't screw their lids on, so some nurse had pee spilled all over them.
Maybe it's just me, but the idea of some schmoe doing their job, carting pee around and have it spill all over them is hysterical.
M'eh.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-15 12:36:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i pee in trash cans at places i don't like.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-15 12:31:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You should pissed on the closed bottles and passed out with your face in the nurses tits. That would have been funny.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-15 12:26:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The author of this piece is probably that one guy out there that thought that Gallagher was funny.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-15 12:26:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy shit! Put the lids on tight? BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-15 12:25:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You wanna know another reason you have no shot with that nurse...or any other broad, for that matter?
Chicks hate dorks who use "anyhoo".
I know I do.
Congrats on your new kidney.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-11-15 12:25:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
..........and then the funny bit happened?
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-11-15 12:23:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Here is an even funnier sign. At my office,there was a sign in the hallway and instead of "wet floor" it said "piso mojado", ain't that some crazy shit?
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-11-15 12:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
So where's the funny part again ?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-11-15 12:15:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
but I just dont get it.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-11-15 12:03:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I piss on the outside of the cup.