My First Time (1228 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: -1.17 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by iwillbyourmelbieforfree.please.com (View user info) at 2004-11-15 22:07:34 EST
Girls, you know how you get so loney and can't take the pressure of being alone after so long. Well that was me. I haven't had sex in almost 1 year. And well I wasn't to into the thought of masterbation.
But after some thinking and some to many sleepless nights horny. I did a little reseaching, downloaded some pron, to get me in the mood. Blind folded myself and started the explore. Off when the pants, floated under the shirt playing with my nipples. Off with the shirt and down the my juices, I thought it would be hard to get myself wet, but there was no problem there. I started off sitting in my computer chair, just because that is where the porn was.
Well I thought to myself when I was having sex with the men, it was always much nicer when I was on the bottom, with my legs right in the air. So I found a soft spot on the floor, I was really getting into it when my legs where getting tired, so I placed them on the wall.
I will tell you, you will always remember your first, and now that I have pleased myself, and know my juice spots, I think I can put myself happily to sleep every night, for the rest of my life.
Don't get me wrong, I am up for a more then just a single person!
User Reviews
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:37:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
pron?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-12-01 17:28:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
if you want to get laid i suggest going to the gym because you look like you need it and learn how to dress, because i don't care how hot a girl is, i wouldn't touch her if she was wearing clothes that hideous.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2004-11-17 11:36:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't even think the author is a woman...
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-16 09:26:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"downloaded some pron"
What is pron??
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2004-11-16 09:16:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
sHEvagigans
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2004-11-16 09:14:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because this is a load of crap.
Circe... you crack me up.. mwah ha ha ha
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-11-16 09:07:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You put on a blindfold and then watched some porn?
Must have been exciting. Do me a favour and explore the joys of auto-erotic asphyxiation next.
And don't use the word 'juices'. If you're going to ne dirty, do it right.
"And then I slid three fingers deep into my nasty little cunt and started fucking my own hand like the nasty little bitch I am, screaming obscenities into the ball gag."
Submitted by melbie7 (user info) at 2004-11-16 09:05:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-11-16 02:27:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Is english your second language or something? Third, maybe?
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One typo and ya guys go crazy on everyone, get over it!
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-16 09:03:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yummm.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-11-16 06:20:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Shenan..
ah fuck it, i like this. even as a shenanigan
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-11-16 02:27:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Is english your second language or something? Third, maybe?
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-11-16 01:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Re-read my review on your last post, attention whore.
I can be nice, sometimes.
So far you have failed to show that you have any more brains than are necessary to keep you alive.
dance for us, little girl. show us why you are special and unique, a pretty little snowflake.
By the way.. you might want to check this out. http://drdrew.com/Office/article.asp?id=788
Submitted by emilypost (user info) at 2004-11-16 00:35:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
look at that picture....no wonder you haven't had sex in over a year
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:47:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHA man this is so awesome
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:46:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
But after some thinking and some to many sleepless nights horny. I did a little reseaching, downloaded some pron, to get me in the mood.
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Isn't pron some sort of shrimp, or something? Oh hell, I'm going to bed...
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:46:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Send me pictures.
Submitted by Takabrash (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:45:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Stupid...
Submitted by Jerems (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:42:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OMFG you masterbate that is so fucking gross sick perv.
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:34:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ummm.....lame?
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:32:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The ID's are this high? Oh my god. . .
Submitted by melbie7 (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:22:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I thought it was just a little funny...take a picture put a story to it. Guess I might have to take a break and keep reading. Thanks for all the insight GUYS!
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:17:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:13:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
What the hell is wrong with your head?
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Hahahahahahahaha. I so didn't notice that.
So what the hell is wrong with your head?
Submitted by Shizae (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:16:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Two shit posts in one day, congrats. Obviously this is some older Uberer (Uberite? What is it?) posting shit just to piss everyone off. Just like that douche with the really long external name. Shouldn't be too hard to find the posts, there's been 3 just today.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:13:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What the hell is wrong with your head?
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:12:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Donkey can't get to his computer right now, but he calls Shenanigans.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:11:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what?
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:09:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
very insightful