Beetlebum (501 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.14 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jenbee<imissemoboy.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-16 01:11:54 EST
If I could wrap myself up in your pictures, I would... And I'd like to let you know I tried. I really did. I stared at you and just hoped against everything that you would somehow come out and come to life and comfort me and not be a thousand miles away from me anymore.
I stared and imagined and I swear, that faint smile playing across your lips, I swear for a moment you grinned at me. I could see you look at me for just a second.
I forgot how your hair did that. How it went everywhere at once, but like everywhere was one place, you know? It was all going to the same place of total dischord.
I cried for a while, you know. After the evening was over and everyone was home or in bed or both (I don't know) and I just curled up and cried. And it hurt. That kind of hurt when you feel like your whole spirit is reaching out of your body begging for someone to comfort you.
You still didn't appear.
Funny how people can't teleport on a whim.
Long months. Five of them, now, six soon. I coped and cried and then got over it and just got numb and didn't let myself really think about how much I missed you. I forgot how you would lie with me until I fell asleep, or something close to that. I forgot how I knew you were leaving; a small kiss on my back. Right between the shoulders. I don't need to tell you, you know, you did the kissing, right?
I forgot about your lips, really. How they curved into a smile. (You know, I really think they fit mine well)
There were a million things that I remembered but I think we pretty much know that memories are never as sharp as Kodak can make them.
I hate to be reminded.
One month two days.
I just don't see myself making it past tommorrow.
User Reviews
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-11-19 21:48:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"I forgot how you would lie with me until I fell asleep, or something close to that." was pretty good
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-11-16 22:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2, you know why.
Submitted by JenBee (user info) at 2004-11-16 10:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks Adam
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-11-16 10:10:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this, it had alot of emotion for being so short.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-11-16 09:59:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Blah blah blah... spoutings of an overemotional girl who believes in the outdated concept of love.
+1 for believing in something.
Submitted by JenBee (user info) at 2004-11-16 09:46:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yar.
Beetlebum is just the song that was stuck in my head when I was writing this. It's by Blur.
And, please, he didn't leave me for the sake of leaving-he's in the military.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-11-16 09:40:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad, but the title doesn't fit and you could have fleshed it out a bit more.
I do, however, feel the longing in this piece, as it is something I have felt as well and you capture those feelings nicely.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-16 09:14:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-11-16 03:50:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny how people can't teleport on a whim."""
Is it?
Really?
Submitted by Oscar (user info) at 2004-11-16 02:27:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
#1: What the fuck kind of title is Beetlebum?
#2: Wow, you must be the only person in the world to ever get left. Suck it up you pansy. While teh Ja[panese are trying their hardest, there still are a lot of fish in the sea. Go get yourself some soul sushi.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-11-16 02:19:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not too bad at all. I'd let this post give me a golden shower.
Submitted by Ex_Lux_Astrum (user info) at 2004-11-16 01:27:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet...i felt the subtle desperation and quiet longing....you almost put a feathery crack in my cold crystalline heart.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-11-16 01:26:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Would some no strings attached sex while you are feeling vulnerable make you feel better?
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-16 01:17:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Just for fun I'm going to jerk off with my left hand tonight.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-11-16 01:14:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, sweetie.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2004-11-16 01:13:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No beetles, or bums. Should be a -2, but I am soaking my balls in yogurt, so a solid 0.