Asian Sex Dwarf: The Reckoning (3401 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 2 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Lone Stranger (View user info) at 2004-11-17 11:49:31 EST
Part 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/51166
Part 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/51366
Part 3: Right heeya!
It was a typical morning, but then again, it always is when SHE strikes.
I was sitting on my bed, propped against a mound of satin pillows. I had just finished putting on my makeup and replica Dolly Pardon wig. I was staring down at my outy, my belly-button substitute for a penis, which I had dressed up like a little clown. He was so cute!
I sat there eating Bosco chocolate syrup out of my inny, while rubbing my little clown buddy and singing along to 9 to 5 in a chocolatey slur.
I got it all over myself! I'm so silly!
That's when I heard it.
OOOOHIIIIIOOOOO!!
I froze. That sound could only mean one thing: incoming Asian Sex Dwarf.
My mind flashed back to our first two encounters, and one thing stuck out - the dance!
She always did this cute little sexy dance and chant, and I always became incapacitated soon after, leaving me a helpless victim to her odd, yet somehow satisfying molestation.
Well not this time!
She sprang from the closet with a blinding flash, and presented all 3 feet of herself to me, in nothing but rainbow panties even, in a proud stance, hands on hips.
With a flick of her wrist she tossed her long bushy jet mane over her shoulder. "OHIO!" she announced.
This was my last chance. I made my move.
I ninja-rolled off the bed and down to her feet, deftly snatching her rainbow panties and yanking them off, sending her flying head over heals back into the closet. This maneuver cost me my wig and my little outy buddy's rainbow clown afro, which simply made me go blind with rage.
It was time for this dwarf to get taken down.
Apparently she had other ideas, because that's when the room started to shake. I heard a growl from the closet, a climbing scream that reminded me of Miss Piggy having a temper tantrum. But I didn't hear "KERMY!"
What I witnessed next was unmistakably the Asian Sex Dwarf's version of the Kamehameha wave.
"oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-"
I see a small light glowing in her hands, offering me her silhouette in the dark closet.
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"
She pulls her hands back and the light she's holding grows into a crackling ball of rainbow energy.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Her primal scream tore into my soul as she unleashed a rainbow hadooken into my chest, blasting me backwards onto my bed.
I lay there stunned. The next thing I know, she is running up the wall, onto the ceiling, heading across to the other side of the bed. As I watched her naked little form scamper across the ceiling over my head, she looked down and stuck her tongue out at me
She dropped down on all fours beside my bed. I felt leaden, unable to even lift my head. She snatched her panties from my hand and ducked back down beside the bed.
She jumped on the bed and clung to my leg like a little monkey. A little monkey with a vice grip! She started to bite my inner thigh while growling like a chihuahua. (You know that little pussy growl that small dogs have? The one that they think sounds all tough, but you really just want to dropkick the little shit so it knows what's up? Yeah. That one.)
She flipped herself around and stuck her rainbow-pantied bottom in my face. She waggled it in my face while taunting, "Ooooo Rainbow panties!"
ASD: "Taste the rainbow!" And with that she let waft a nice poot in my face. Nothing too harsh, more like a gentle summer breeze. A gentle summer breeze that stirs memories of a large sweaty man's embrace.
With that, she hopped off of me and headed to the closet. She turned and with a cursory wave and "Ohio!" she leapt back into the closet.
I still couldn't move a muscle. I started to get really pissy because now I had a raging craving for skittles. Isn't that weird?
I'll count this as the first real matchup between me and my Mulan de Molestation, seeing as how she surprised me the first couple times.
So now it stands:
Asian Sex Dwarf: 15
Me: Love
User Reviews
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2006-02-13 16:13:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wtf?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2005-08-31 01:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
more.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-08-31 01:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Stabkill is a prick.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-11-19 18:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
gozaimasu
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-19 18:09:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ASD! I love you!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-19 17:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, this series seriously roxxors WAY HARD! Keep up the excellent work!
OOOOHIIIIIOOOOO!!
Submitted by funkchomper (user info) at 2004-11-19 17:36:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked dis lil series. I wish there were more of these ASD's in the wild..
Submitted by GlitchCowman (user info) at 2004-11-19 17:24:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my god.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-17 22:56:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Did you suck on it like a never ending gobstopper?
Submitted by MikeyP3184 (user info) at 2004-11-17 22:46:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your lucky, you got an ASD
all i got was an oompa loompa with a strap-on
it still hurts to sit.......
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-17 22:45:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Workin 9 to 5, dah dah dah dah dah dee dum
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:51:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
with a spoon even
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:01:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bosco is teh rox0rz.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-11-17 15:09:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I sat there eating Bosco chocolate syrup out of my inny"
+2
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-17 15:03:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fresh and innovative is my middle name.
Seriously, it is.
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-11-17 14:32:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These won't get old as long as you keep them fresh and innovative.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-17 14:15:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The ASD knows no right nor wrong.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-17 13:11:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Careful what you wish for, Hadley.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-11-17 12:26:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is wrong on so many levels that it has to be right.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2004-11-17 11:55:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want an ASD.