How to shower like a Woman or Man (WOO-WOO) (1296 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.47 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RamJetMax <dwhitty61.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-17 16:01:57 EST
How To Shower Like a Woman:
- Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
- Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the
way, cover up any exposed areas.
- Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
situps/leglifts, etc.
- Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide
loofah and pumice stone.
- Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
- Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with
grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
- Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
- Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse
conditioner off hair.
- Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in
shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
- Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small country.
- Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
- Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
- Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
- If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How to Shower Like a Man:
- Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.
- Walk naked to the bathroom.
- If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo'
sound.
- Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
- Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your behind.
- Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
- Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
- Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
- Spend majority of the time washing privates and surrounding area.
- Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
- Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
- Rinse off and get out of shower.
- Partially dry off.
- Fail to notice water on the floor because curtain was hanging out of the
tub the whole time.
- Admire wiener size in the mirror again.
- Leave shower curtain wide open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
- Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, shake wiener
at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
- Throw towel on bed.
Wasn't me...Source unknown...
User Reviews
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-30 10:03:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well seeing as I gave the other version of this +1, I award this +1, even though it didn't technically make me smile seeing as I only read it about 10 mins ago.
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2005-08-30 09:57:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51937
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2004-11-17 17:03:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It is old but still funny. i like the word diddle.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:45:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice job.
I like seeing something new.
If "new" meant "5 years ago".
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:44:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Good Lord man, i saw this when i was 15, 7 years ago
Minus two for you.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:39:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ahahaha, I wonder what sex the writer was.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:37:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I haven't had that in my in box a thousand times like a year ago.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:23:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:18:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot one step for the ladies.
remove shower head and place between legs
Diddle self
--
Damn! That knocked me outta my chair. Hilarious.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:20:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This has been making the rounds in email for about 4 years.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:19:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ding!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:18:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot one step for the ladies.
remove shower head and place between legs
Diddle self
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:13:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Squeegee off all wet surfaces in
shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex."
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:09:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny... cuz it's true.
Submitted by miss_behvn (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:06:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny and true! made me laugh.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-11-17 16:05:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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